My of my, what a blast from the past these were. I purchased these after a discussion in the pub, you know the kind... 'Do you remember them...'
I remember days when my father was in the pub, drinking away, and would occasionally bring me treats whilst I sat in the car in the car park. Child care in the 80's was great! With no wifi, smartphone or mp3's to keep us busy, it was imperative that the public houses sold something to keep the hundreds of children locked in a car across the country happy, and with this product they knocked the proverbial ball out the park. Loved by kids and adults alike, these little bad boys pack a punch and a half.
You always had crisps from childhood that were so overly flavoured, the odd one would make your eyes bleed (with happiness). Whilst you only get a handful in a pack, each one is so flavoured you don't need 20+, just one every few minutes and your eyes will roll back whilst you dribble like George Best in his hay day.
At the moment of writing this review I’m coming down from my latest Scampi filled weekend binge and was disgusted to check the snack cupboard this morning and notice I’d done it again, all packs are gone. I sometimes think there’s a phantom snack eater in my house, who comes in the middle of the night and eats the remaining packs before covering my chest in crumbs to frame me for it every time.
I live in Belgium and come back to the UK every 3-4 weeks, not to visit my family, but to pick up more Scampi fries! The annoying thing about these bad boys is my wife’s taken a liking to it. I mean FFS, is nothing sacred anymore. It was bad enough trying to make these last a month when it was just my drunk clutches grabbing bags of these on my way to the fridge for some night time ‘fine dining’.
First off, don’t kid yourself into thinking you’re buying crisps as such. I honestly don’t know how they came about it, but they managed to incorporate a huge amount of guilt into every bite. Like Crack Cocaine, the guilt does not outweigh the pleasure you feel with every bite, and I’d probably fence my mums electronics to buy these if I ever ran out of cash. Each individual piece gives you the feeling you’ve eaten a small Fray Bentos pie, they’re like them minerals you read about when you’re a kid where 1 nanogram is heavier than a London Bus, but does that stop me, NOT ONE BIT.
The hardest thing they’ve managed to pull off is giving each piece the flavour of 10000 dried, stinking Scampi’s. To the untrained stomach that might sound disgusting, but there’s a level of sophistication in these tiny fishy morsels that goes beyond a bar room snack. I for one would not think it out of place to be nibbling on these at a wedding reception, they’re that good.
The crumbs that cover your fingers are an extra bonus. It’s creates that magic moment you have when you realise your bag is empty, but then look at your fingers and notice they’re covered in magical golden dust. Mmmmm. Once my dog made the mistake of licking my hand shortly before that magic moment, and whilst I love him to bits, the 200 quid Vet bill was worth it if he learnt his lesson
I’ve tried various consumption methods in order to make these last longer like allowing them to melt on your tongue, but found the best way to make these last is to do a Harry Potter on anyone else who lives with you (tie them up and lock them under the stairs) until you’ve run out.
TIP – Don’t throw the empty packs away, I found that even though the packs inside has a foil like look and feel, it does keep some flavour in the walls so you can lick them until your next delivery.
FREE NEXT DAY DELIVERY ON THESE – ARE THEY MAD!!!
Oh - if you don't like overly fishy smelling treats, steer well clear of these. There's nothing subtle about these, NOTHING. Alternatively, if you have a serious body odour issues, open one of these bad boys on the train and nobody will notice your funky armpits anymore.