Funniest Reviews

Helpful product reviews written by Amazon customers have been the heart of Amazon.co.uk since it started in 1998, and we treasure the customers who work hard to write them. But occasionally customer creativity goes off the charts in the best possible way. Enjoy this collection of some of the funniest, top-voted reviews written by your fellow customers. (Click on the products to see which review of each was voted "most helpful" by other customers.)

Don't see your favorite on the list? Nominate it yourself at the bottom of this page.

Crystal Ballpoint Pen, Medium Point, Black
“Today is the fourth day of ownership of my pen, and I have to say I'm starting to treat it like an old friend. I would happily recommend this pen to anyone who is planning on writing on paper.”
“While this pen is functional and easy to use, a downside is it only supports one default font (that appears to be user specific?). I have tried multiple times to access Helvetica, Times New Roman, Impact etc. to no avail... I don't even see any input buttons.”
Banana Slicer by Kitchen Craft
Banana Slicer
“Thanks to this revolutionary idea I can now purchase bananas free of fear. I would have given this great product 5 stars if there had been banana peeling instructions included.”
“My kids were fed up of blood-stained banana sandwiches, fruit salad with fingernails, smoothies with knuckle skin... Now I just whip my banana out and WHAM!! one perfectly sliced banana. No more trauma, no more visits to A and E, no more horrified dinner guests.”
Box Canvas Print of Paul Ross
“If you only buy one 20 inch canvas print of Paul Ross this year, this is the one to get.”
“Don't buy this picture. It looks fine on the website, but the one they send you is upside-down. My wife hasn't stopped crying for a week.”
Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt by The Mountain
Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt
“‘Don't get me wrong, this T-shirt is ace. I just can't help thinking an additional Wolf wouldn't go a miss. (P.S I've rated this 4 stars. 1 for each Wolf and 1 for the moon. If the seller wants another star, then I want another Wolf....or another moon).”
“My only complaint is that my resting heart rate is pegged at 179 beats per minute when wearing the shirt. I figure it has something to do with the 3X wolf power.”
Street Cleaning Simulator by Excalibur Video games publishing
Street Cleaning Simulator
“As a professional street cleaner myself I don't regard this as a very accurate simulation. In this game it is possible to do things that a Professional Street Cleaner would never get away with, for example you can DRIVE OVER people, you can't do that in real life.”
“Part of what makes this so spectacular is how unpredictable it is… The only downside is that the street cleaners sometimes go so fast they make you feel sick. If you go up to the maximum speed of 6mph then you can get a bit queasy as the world hurtled by in a blur.”
A Whole New World (CD) by Katie Price and Peter Andre
A Whole New World (CD)
“If you can imagine a soothing blend of jojoba oils, vanilla, and WD40 being poured into both ear holes simultaneously, then you will have only been able to scratch the surface of the feast of pleasure that is Katie And Pete's "A Whole New World" Album. I also found the case very useful for replacing a tile that had been missing in my bathroom for the past two and a half years.”
“The impact this record will have on our world is comparable only to penicillin. Katie has the voice of a young Marvin Gaye, whilst Peter sounds like the smell of a new born baby.”
Aluminium Foil 18
“This foil is absolutely ideal for lining the surface of my shuttle for re-entry into Earth's atmosphere. I've used it time and time again and it always stands up to scrutiny. Also, I wrap my sandwiches in it.”
“When I wrap my naked body in this lush, extravagant foil I feel transformed, and I wander the streets, mostly at night, fighting crime…”
The Hobbit Invisible Bilbo Baggins Action Figure
“I bought this for my son; he said its rubbish and randomly throws it at my head... I can never see it coming.”
“I bought this action figure but have literally no idea whether it arrived. I think my son might have been playing with it, but maybe he was just making eerie passes in the air with his two hands.”
Pam St. Clement Canvas Clock by Seasons Original Art
Pam St. Clement Canvas Clock
“After purchasing this, time has taken on a whole new meaning in our house. As I type this, it is currently 5 past Pat's chin. Lovely.”
“I have one of these in each of my good rooms. I like it best at around 10 to 2 or 10 past 11. That's when the hands cover her eyes. When they don't she tells me to do bad things.”
“I've looked long and hard for an A5 canvas clock of Pam St Clement, with the clock hands strategically placed atop her upper lip, thus acting as a comedy moustache. Imagine my disappointment when I discover the clock hands were positioned awkwardly above her right nostril.”
Huge Ships
“My husband has never allowed me to write, as he doesn't want me touching men’s pens. However when I saw this product, I decided to buy it (using my pocket money) and so far it has been fabulous! Once I had learnt to write, the feminine colour and the grip size (which was more suited to my delicate little hands) has enabled me to vent thoughts about new recipe ideas, sewing and gardening.”
“Before I bought this product I couldn't write but now I'm an engineer. Mind you, I only design pink, flowery bridges, motorways and sewers. Blue ones would be wrong wouldn't they.”
Tell us what you think of this story!
Read other stories
Family business enables family dream
Family business enables family dream
Read more
Crime pays for self-published author
Crime pays for self-published author
Read more
Sweets for all
Sweets for all
Read more
The ultimate in slow cooking
The ultimate in slow cooking
Read more
One million copies was only the beginning
One million copies was only the beginning
Read more
Share this story!