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Haunted Nostril "TaT" (UK)

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Official House of the Dead Overkill Hand Cannon (Wii)
Official House of the Dead Overkill Hand Cannon (Wii)

10 of 13 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars GREAT GUN!, 14 Feb. 2009
A smooth and silky ride all the way. Got this with the game and have to say it's the best bit of kit, peripheral wise, i've picked up for the old white slab. recommended.
P.S. The game is awesome too.
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 23, 2009 10:18 PM GMT


The House of the Dead: Overkill (Wii)
The House of the Dead: Overkill (Wii)

69 of 72 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars SICK, TWISTED AND A TOTAL BLAST!, 14 Feb. 2009
I'm hooked on this game - not in a small way but seriously, seriously hooked. I've spent the best part of today playing it and have only come away from it to spend some time with my wife - darn this Valentines day malarkey! - and write this quick point by point list of the good and bad of this outrageously gruesome little gem, and hopefully that'll help you decide if HOTD:O is worth your time, money, not to mention yout skills with a hand cannon!

THE GOOD:
- Addictive beyond compare - if you're a high score junky then you'll be in seventh heaven, if you're a gore hound: likewise, and if you're into collecting and unlocking virtual trinkets then you'll be right at home too. For a light gun game there is a heck of a lot to do.
- Satisfyingly chunky head shots (and all other shots too), hugely visceral - it'll have the teenager in you screaming to get out and have a go! A very, very bloody business it is!
- At time the humor is actually spot on and it gave me a little giggle once or twice.
- The Grindhouse movie feel is spot on and not just an aping of Tarantino's homage - although there is a bit of that too, which is okay.
- The controls are spot on and can be calibrated to suite!
- The hand cannon available for the game is one of the best peripherals I've used for the system thus far.
- The graphics are above and beyond what we wii owners are used to and I'm quite proud to have this game sit side by side with my 360 games.
- A good change of pace from the usual wii-centric kiddy games choc full of gimmicks and mini games, and probably the most fun I've had with my Wii since Mario Galaxy.
- Some of the themes make you wince more than once or twice, this could be a good or bad thing depending on the player but you wouldn't be playing a game called house of the dead: overkill if you weren't ready for some sickness, right?
- Varla Guns - sweet.
- The Soundtrack is pure funky genius - great old sleazy grindhouse style tunes that have now become synonymous with Tarantino movies. Also there's a few pumping tunes for boss fights and more frantic sections but all roll up into a tasty musical picnic for the earholes.
- Some sick, if slightly easy, bosses - the screamer is quite terrifying.
- Brilliant little touches and attention to detail.

THE BAD:
- The swearing, although I understand it's part of the whole grindhouse experience and the characters traits, first wears a little thin then gets a bit embarrassing - after one play through I'm sure you'll be slamming past the cut-scenes to dodge the silly excess as I did.
- There can be a slight loading time split second pause that makes you, on the odd occasion, miss your shot and loose your flow, but this doesn't happen enough for it to become a problem - also it can sometimes work in your favor in lining up a shot so it sort of levels out.
- Some of the taboos that get knocked about may offend some people - I enjoyed them for their cheekiness but some may just be left aghast.
- The unlockable weapons are massively overpowered - but you'll find that they're useful for getting those golden brains, but as far as high scores go i tend to use the traditional ams magnum for proper skills.

CONCLUSION
I Love this game and don't see how anyone couldn't, sure it's puerile but it's got all the fun of the fair, and more! Guns, blood, wicked soundtrack, Varla Guns and some good laughs - Enjoy!
Comment Comments (9) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 26, 2010 5:48 AM GMT


Mister B. Gone
Mister B. Gone
by Clive Barker
Edition: Hardcover

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars My Honest Opinion of a Strange Little Book..., 21 Jan. 2009
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Mister B. Gone (Hardcover)
Let's face it Mr. Barker has never been one to follow typical story arcs and this is definitely one of his more way out efforts. Maybe it's a natural progression after Abarat, being one of the most brilliant and bonkers ideas penned by the master of the metaphysical since Cabal and Weaveworld, but at times I felt that the bizarre adventures of Jakabok Botch, our demonic narrator, where more than a little too far flung in terms of ideas from one minuet to the next to work 100% of the time. This isn't the longest book, I read it in one relatively short sitting, and it was never ever going to be able to explain itself fully, but some the ideas within just come across as half-cocked curiosities written just for the sake of being strange.

Having said all this though I was hooked from the get go and the reason I didn't put it down was mostly due to the bizarrely endearing character of Mr. B himself, who Throughout the book begs you to burn it as a warning of the ensuing corruption on your soul as he is embedded in the very pages themselves. I found this direct interaction with the reader to be hugely refreshing and I think it ultimately made you feel more fondly for what is essentially a murderous agent of hell, or the Demonation as he calls it, than you normally would have just hearing of his wicked deeds third hand. As the yarn unfurls it's blackened leathery wings you are treated to what equates to the literary equivalent of a Hieronymus Bosch painting, and it has to be said, apart from the afore mentioned dips in clarity, I enjoyed the twisted journey immensely.

I think when any artist in any arena takes a short hiatus then returns to their chosen medium they will inevitably take some flack, but with so many more exciting and long awaited projects winding their dark and slithering way from the mind of Mr. Barker, The Scarlet Gospels and Abarat 3 to name just a few, I think a quirky little tale like this is the perfect defense against the naysayers who expect a short break to garner unbelievable results or artist be damned.

All in all I recommend this book as a nice trip into the peculiar and a little taste of what I'm sure will be the brilliance to come from one of today's strongest literary imaginations.


100 Classic Book Collection (Nintendo DS)
100 Classic Book Collection (Nintendo DS)
Offered by SC-WHOLESALE
Price: £3.99

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FANTASTIC ON SO MANY LEVELS..., 21 Jan. 2009
When I first heard about this I had that gut reaction straight away about Nintendo releasing yet another non-game - nice enough for a bit of fun or for the very casual gamer, but I bought my DS on the strength of games like New Super Mario Brothers and Mario Kart DS - then I gave myself a minute to think about it and for once I could actually see the massive monetary and intellectual value of such an application, and when I received it from a friend a short while back I was as happy as a little kipper.

THE GOOD:
- Makes 100 books, that would usually cost you a pretty penny, instantly accessible for a relatively low price. Fair enough you have to own a DS but when compared to the cost of even the cheapest e-book reader it's still a bargain.
- Nice addition of optional background sounds such as forests, streams and summer day.
- Page can be turned using buttons, directional pad or by sweeping the screen in a page turning motion - extremely easy to get to grips with.
- Up to three bookmarks can be used - and they won't fall out when you pick up you DS!
- Great bookshelf feature which can be sorted and searched quickly and easily.
- Space saving and ecologically friendly, not that books where ever a waste of paper but every little helps.
- Downloadable books and ranking.
- Nice little quiz to help you pick a book - I did a few quizzes straight off to see what turned up, The Sketch Book of Geoffrey Crayon by Washington Irving turned up 3 times and very, very good it was too, and right up my street. So what would first appear to be a nice but flimsy little feature is yet another incentive to read.
- Each book features notes on the author, book and sometimes even a nice little piccy of said author.

THE BAD:
- The optional background music (rather than the quite good atmospheric sounds) is hideously 'midi ringtone' sounding, but it is 'optional' so not much of a gripe really.
- The whole package could have been improved by the small addition of a dictionary function. if such a thing had been added the constrictive bounds of amazons five star rating would not have been adequate enough housing for the copious praise I would bestow upon this already brilliant product. No matter how vast your vocabulary many of the words used in the older writings are relatively unheard in modern language - so, yes, a dictionary or dictionary function would have been great - ho-hum.
- Books don't need recharging - again a small gripe but you'd better have charged up before a long flight, or any other lengthy journey, or you'll be left with nothing but clouds to look at.

CONCLUSION:
Some people will take a little persuading as 'there is nothing like the feel of a good book,' but for me the pros far outweigh the cons as far as space saving, value, features, and paper saving goes. I truly can't recommend this little gem highly enough - the best gift I've been given for a long time and has given me portable, simple, access to some of the greatest writings the human race has to offer. Brilliant - can't wait for the next installment!
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 15, 2009 3:26 PM BST


Metamorphosis [DVD] [1993] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Metamorphosis [DVD] [1993] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Offered by RAREWAVES USA
Price: £9.04

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars WICKED LITTLE CREATURE FEATURE!, 20 Jan. 2009
Originally beginning it's life as 'The Deadly Spawn 2' (The Deadly Spawn being another low to no budget monster masterpiece) Metamorphosis is lovely sticky creature feature with some weak dialog, but fantastic beasties and awesome animatronic effects. Obviously garnering a larger budget than The Deadly Spawn the creators of this little gem chose to go large with every element of this loose fitting sequel, and boy did it pan out. If you love your Creature Features with a fair amount of gore, and some really inventive beasties the likes of which you won't see in anything else, then I suggest you grab a hold of Metamorphosis and enjoy the ride.

THE GOOD:
- Awesome monsters - I may have mentioned it more than enough already but they are old school, icky looking, non CGI, cool.
- The metamorphosis in question is nasty and again features some brilliant make up effect.
- A great b-movie blast where the bad acting doesn't detract too badly from the overall, over the top, production and provides a good giggle at times.

THE BAD:
- The acting, it's bad - it's b-movie cheese and it is what it is, and that is funny as heck.
- The main monster - though massively impressive - looks slightly too phallic at times for comfort! oo-er!

CONCLUSION:
A relatively low budget gem where all the money has been sunk into creature and make-up effects making it a complete blast even if the acting is almost unpalatable at time, but hey what are you expecting here?
Love your creature features? then grab this now! Not too stoked by the prospect of crazy beasties munching on some bad actors? Still give it a chance for the right price - you may be pleasantly surprised!


Shadow Dancer: The Secret Of Shinobi
Shadow Dancer: The Secret Of Shinobi

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars BETTER LEFT IN THE SHADOWS!, 19 Jan. 2009
It's not like me to just decimate something in a review - I try to see a bit of good in everything, but there are certain things that just should have been stopped before they where released upon the world: This is one of those creatures.

THE GOOD:
- The title screen looks quite good.
- Some alright animation.

THE BAD:
- Your sprite keeps flashing and disappearing randomly - as do the enemies, sometimes just popping up as they kick your face off. It's enough to give you a seizure.
- Bad controls and considering you're a ninja you jump about as high as a five year old, and move like you're running through snot. Not good.
- Badly designed levels.
- Ridiculously big sprites that just don't work well with their surroundings.
- Awful sounds, just sickeningly bad.
- I don't want to keep prattling on - it's all pretty awful.

CONCLUSION
Stay as far away from this port as you can - a big let down for Master System fans everywhere and a jab in the eye for the retro gamer in general.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 9, 2011 4:16 PM GMT


Chuck rock II Son of chuck - Master System - PAL
Chuck rock II Son of chuck - Master System - PAL

4.0 out of 5 stars TIME TO GO CLUBBING - PREHISTORIC STYLE!, 19 Jan. 2009
A few years after the original Chuck Rock adventure and Chuck has been kidnapped. Now it's up to his son to grab a club and rescue his cave dwelling daddy from certain doom at the hands of bad guy Gary Gritter.

THE GOOD:
- Some of the best, if not the best, graphics the system has to offer.
- Great, responsive controls.
- Brilliant enemies and character designs.
- Superb, varied level design that drive you forward to see what's coming next.
- Decent, jolly little soundtrack and effects that work well and fit the theme extremely well.
- Classic Platform action that'll bring back memories and push your skills (but not too much).
- Big, interesting bosses that are fun to fight.

THE BAD:
- The River Race mini game levels feel tacked on and don't particularly add anything to the overall game.
- Son of chuck is an ugly little freak - not the most endearing little chap at all.
- Sometimes your life gauge gets hidden behind the more elaborate backgrounds, nothing major but a bit of a pain.

CONCLUSION:
A good looking, fun, romp through a world of prehistoric cartoon madness. There are some truly great uses of the colour palette throughout that really push the system to its limits. Some of the backgrounds are particularly noteworthy, and often contain small details such as the eyes of animated critters peering through the undergrowth adding extra depth, and detail to the already bountiful graphical proceedings. With all this going on you think there'd be some sort of drop off somewhere along the line, but apart from it just being a slightly above typical platformer the whole thing is a pretty sweet package. If you love your Master System platformers this will sate your hunger for a short while - nothing spectacular (apart from the graphics) but nothing to sniff at either.


Zombie Strippers [DVD] [2008]
Zombie Strippers [DVD] [2008]
Dvd ~ Robert Englund
Offered by wantitcheaper
Price: £2.98

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars THEY'RE ZOMBIES, THEY'RE STRIPPERS - THEY'RE ZOMBIE STRIPPERS!, 18 Jan. 2009
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
In an alternate, or perhaps future, America the government has banned public nudity just as an outbreak of a zombie virus occurs. In step Z-Team to sort out the zombie virus, one of them gets bit and separates from the rest of his squad of bad acting brothers and sisters and stumbles into an underground strip club/speak easy type affair. Queue a torrent of blood, cheap giggles and silicone.
So I got this film after having a good laugh at a boozy lads night in watching `Zombie, Zombies, Zombies: Zombies vs Strippers', oddly enough I think this is the bigger budget counterpart of the aforementioned z-grade nonsense - which says a lot about that film. So I grabbed myself a cheap copy of zombies Vs Strippers, fully knowing what to expect, and swiftly made my way down the offy for some tins to accompany it. What can I say: exact same effect. Bunch of your mates, some tins and plenty of shouting at the TV in total disbelief of the madness you're putting yourselves through and you've got yourself a winner.
This movie is just an excuse to put loads of bare bodies and blood on screen with a thin coating of social satire to keep the whole sticky mess together, and if we can't all put our brains to bed for a bit and have some big snorting laughs at this kind of junk once in a while then what can we do?

THE GOOD:
- Daft as a bag of gremlins.
- Some actual funny bits that will have you and your mates giggling like big kids
- Some inventive effects and cool looking zoms. Okay - fair enough - it looks alot like Mortal Kombat at times but those looking for any amount of realism should look else where me thinks (obviously).
- Some good looking girls doing some impressive moves.
- Englund hams it up big style and is great for it.
- The pool ball, zombie stripper fight, bit is brilliant, you'll see.
- Won't tax a work addled mind.
- Disgraceful acting and dialog that'll have you in stitches.

THE BAD
- Again like Zombies Versus Strippers the whole film is bad but this is streamlined badness that slaps you in the face and makes you do big, drink squirting out of your nose, dopey sounding, guffaws.
- Far, far too much silicone for my liking.

CONCLUSION
What can I say - Completely off it's honkers, A total disgrace...and I loved it - it's the complete antidote to a serious day at work. It's like the ultimate, big kids, man flick that counterbalances total chick-flick tosh like `The wedding planner' and other evils of it's ilk perfectly. Without this film the world would be a much duller place and I can't wait to put it in the collection for a marathon bad movie laugh-a-thon.


Laser Ghost
Laser Ghost

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Spooky Phaser Blazer With Something Extra., 16 Jan. 2009
This review is from: Laser Ghost (Video Game)
Blast hordes of creeps, ghouls, ghosts and undead freaks using your trusty lightgun and controller while trying to protect a young girl in search of her soul.
THE GOOD:
- Protecting Katherine as she searches through a load of spooky environments for her soul adds a nice twist to the usual, shallow, light gun experience.
- Loads of interesting enemies - some who have a certain genuine spookiness about them - to shoot to bits.
- Tons of secret power-ups and hearts hide behind numerous parts of destructible environment.
- Good difficulty level that'll keep you coming back for more.
- Some interesting environments that are varied and numerous enough to make it a blast to see where you'll be taken next.
THE BAD:
- Can't really think of much - it is just a light gun game and we all know they're not as immersive as your average game and even with the twist of protecting Katherine it is still just a light gun game and hence lacking some interactivity. If phaser blazers ain't your bag then this won't do much to change your mind - but i may be wrong.
CONCLUSION:
The best gun game on the system as far as I'm concerned (I actually own two copies for some reason) - great haunted atmosphere and a really good little twist on the genre, that as far as I know hasn't been used again which is unfortunate. I love the ghostly sprites and the graphics on display and dig this one up every Halloween as a sort of little distraction for people at my Halloween parties - and it usually gets played a good few times more before it goes back into my collection. All in all a reasonably rare, top buy.

P.S. This is nothing like the gruesome old Sega arcade shooter that preceded the house of the dead games, it just has the same name.

NB: Be sure to start the game using the control pad only, not the Light Phaser, or it'll not work properly. Don't know why but if you buy this without a booklet you'll be left in the dark more than a little.


Ghost house - Master System - PAL
Ghost house - Master System - PAL

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One Of My Faves!, 16 Jan. 2009
Guide Mickey the pointy eared little treasure hunter through a house full of mummies, bats & Draculas (yes, plural, 'Draculas'). Kill a few of those Draculas and you'll soon be rolling in gems and dashing off into the sunrise! Simple premise - simple to get addicted to - not so simple to complete.
THE GOOD:
- Bold graphics that, although they aren't the best on the console, get across the cartoon creepiness extremely well.
- Responsive controls that allow you to do what you want when you need to.
- Good collision detection leaves you under no illusions as to who's fault it was that you died...that person being you.
- Good range of creepy critters to dodge and do battle with
- Nice little details set the house off and add to the spooky atmos.
- As I've already said - easy to pick up hard to put down all topped up with a decent difficulty level.
THE BAD:
There's very little to get upset about with this title - perhaps the graphics aren't as good as the console can push, but we're getting a bit beyond the graphical prowess stakes when playing on an 80's 8-bit console - it's a given that none of the graphics are going to blow your head off.
CONCLUSION:
Pure undiluted fun - right up there with Manic Miner in the simplistically brilliant video game stakes. At this price you can't very well complain either. All in all V.V.good.


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