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Pyke Bishop (Birmingham, UK)

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The Face [DVD]
The Face [DVD]
Dvd ~ Unknown Actor
Offered by qualityfilmsfromuk
Price: £1.86

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars The Face (aka A face to die for), 3 Jun. 2014
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This review is from: The Face [DVD] (DVD)
Yasmine Bleeth is cast in this made-for-TV melodrama as Emily Gilmore, a meek, mild woman with a badly scarred face.

Receiving no help or support from her alcoholic mother (Mary Ellen Trainor) and bitter sister (Chandra West), the easily led Emily falls in love with a con-artist (James Wilder) who uses her, and before long she is sent to prison for a robbery she didn't commit.

Upon her release from prison, Emily is able to obtain plastic surgery, emerging as stunningly beautiful - and totally unrecognisable. No-longer shy and retiring Emily assumes a new identity - the first step in a chilling scheme of revenge, aimed at settling the score with the man who framed her.

Yasmine Bleeth is the only cast member of 'Baywatch' who might be said to possess acting ability, a fact that is confirmed in The Face. Too bad the script of this typical melodrama lets her down. What's really strange about Duane Poole's screenplay is that Emily's boyfriend and sister don't recognise her post-op face.

Without giving too much away, I felt the ending was a little anti-climactic and oversimplified - the whole thing ends in a sloppy brawl between Emily, her sister and the ex-boyfriend.


Metro Last Light (PC DVD)
Metro Last Light (PC DVD)
Offered by 4GamersUK
Price: £9.00

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An exceptionally well-crafted first-person adventure, 24 Nov. 2013
Metro Last Light returns you to a Moscow devastated by nuclear war. Humanity, hoping to avoid the dangerous radiation and hideous mutants plaguing the surface, has banded together in the underground metro system. Depending on how you played, Metro 2033 might have allowed you to make an important choice at the game's conclusion. Last Light assumes you chose to destroy the creatures known as The Dark Ones, scorching their home with missiles and scouring them from the face of the Earth. But a creature remains, and as returning protagonist Artyom, you must find this remnant of a race thought extinct, this remnant of a decimated species, though it's unclear whether the right decision is to destroy it or to try to communicate with it.

In the confines of the metro, betrayal is common and trust is a commodity. Here, your greatest enemies are your fellow humans, who are unafraid to cheat and steal if it means gaining favour from the right people. On the brutal surface, the beasts are your primary concern; at any moment, a wailing winged demon might snatch you with its talons, soar into the air, and drop you into the murky water, far from where your horrific flight began.

Exquisite craftsmanship is also on display as you seek the remaining known Dark One on the irradiated surface, and as you avoid the wandering eye of your enemies in the depths beneath. Last Light is not a power shooter. You are not out to murder hundreds of nameless grunts without breaking a sweat, and in fact, the early hours are remarkably light on action. Instead, tension is carefully built in the conversations you have with your comrades, and in the cautious steps you take into the irradiated ruins above the tunnels. You feel the danger. Gnarled trees are twisted into vaguely humanoid shapes, and when you seek refuge from the rain, you hear the drops hammering on the flimsy tin roof above, mimicking the sounds of skittering claws.

The characters in the metro react to each other in authentic ways. They move about with purpose, speaking at length to each other about war and family, about love and lust. Men gone stir crazy seek the company of prostitutes, and so might you, should you desire a lengthy lap dance. Nudity occurs multiple times, and though it's certainly explicit, it doesn't seem superfluous or exploitative. Rather, Last Light's erotic themes emerge naturally from the despair, and sex in the underground has an air of desperation and urgency. If you prefer tamer pleasures, you may take in a lengthy and detailed variety show instead.

You aren't required to go toe-to-toe with human opposition. You can use darkness to your advantage, twisting light bulbs and flipping circuit breakers to keep yourself hidden, and then sneaking through bases to avoid combat altogether. You can be silently murderous, sidling up behind a guard and slicing his throat, and then quietly flinging a knife into another's back. Human enemies go about their actions in realistic ways; they follow patterns, of course, but they aren't always so regimented as to seem unnatural. As a result, the stealth is fun and tense, though you can always shoot your way out of a bind if you need to.

A number of creatures menace your journey across the surface. Amphibious freaks move from water to land, threatening you two or three at a time. As you manoeuvre away from their clammy assaults, you must be ever mindful of the squalid pools that surround you, lest you fall in and get dragged to your death by a mutant lurking beneath. Fierce predators pounce towards you, keeping you on the move. You use a number of weapons to fend them off, all of which look and sound appropriately powerful.

Ammo isn't plentiful in the wastes, though you can get your fill from vendors in the metro's safe havens. Yet the military-grade ammo used as currency is scarce, and you're often faced with a choice to grab more ammo, purchase more grenades, or upgrade that meaty revolver you favour. It's best to scavenge for supplies and ammo in every nook-and-cranny.

You must don a gas mask to stay alive, but masks require filters, which have limited life spans. You discover more filters by exploring, but exploration takes time, which means watching your available supply of healthy air slowly diminish. If you don't value each minute, the pace of your mission could suddenly change from slowly methodical to terrifyingly urgent, as you sprint towards your destination, gasping with increased desperation and hoping against hope that you might cling to life.

The surface brings a tenuous visual warmth, even though the sunlight is diffused through dreary grey clouds. Metro Last Light, while beautiful, is not beautifully optimised. But even if you're forced to lower the resolution and turn off advanced physics, this ruined world is too grotesquely gorgeous not to appreciate.

The air is healthier in the metro, but the dangers are no less real. You still confront misshapen mutants in the tunnels, but the darkness plays an important role. One type of creature recoils from the beam of your flashlight, eventually flipping onto its back and making itself vulnerable to your bullets. Battling several at once results in a rhythmic dance as you use your flashlight to keep your distance between you and the mutants' pincers, firing only when you do the most damage. You often find such critters in the blackest of passages - passages you aren't forced to investigate. Yet the lure of such places can be irresistible. The glow of mushrooms and the possibility of valuable ammo beckon you inwards, as does the chance of rescuing an innocent captive held hostage by the enemy factions that also lurk in the tunnels.

The games astounding atmosphere fills you with dread, the tale it tells is a surprisingly touching story about loss and hope. And exploring the surface is both frightening and exciting - as the games pacing allows tension to build before the action heats-up.

Metro Last Light is not an endless barrage of bullets and beasts. Last Light is notably superior to it's predecessor, merging storytelling, shooting, and sneaking into a remarkable and cohesive whole.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Aug 28, 2014 11:52 AM BST


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5.0 out of 5 stars WAW brings proven COD mechanics back to WWII with great success., 13 Oct. 2013
Like every game in the series before Modern Warfare, this Call of Duty takes place during World War II.

In the campaign, you split time between two soldiers in two offensive theatres: the Russian push out of their homeland and into the heart of Germany, and the American struggle to wrest Pacific islands from the Japanese. Though you'll alternate between them every few levels, the campaign feels like one solid progression, thanks to the adept pacing.

Each soldier's journey begins at a low point. Weapon-less and surrounded by the enemy, you get a taste of the despair many soldiers are never rescued from. Though the emotional tone eventually rises toward triumph, you never quite forget the fate you nearly met. The first few levels are a hard scramble as you and your fellow soldiers try to gain a foothold for your country, while later levels are suffused with a sense of hard-won momentum as you fight bigger battles and push closer to your enemies' capitals. Throughout each level you are accompanied by a superior officer who sets the emotional tone through well-acted dialogue. The vengeful, spitfire Russian pumps up your adrenaline to intoxicating levels, while the grim, determined American provides a sobering influence. This grim sobriety is further enforced by the actual WWII videos, photos, and statistics presented in stylish cutscenes.

Bayonets and flamethrowers, the two standout new weapons in World at War. You wield both in the American campaign, using them to enthusiastically dispatch enemies in trenches and fend off the aggressive banzai raiders. These raiders snipe from the treetops, or pop out of holes and charge you with merciless determination; this aggression makes the American campaign feel uniquely tense. The Russian campaign is slightly more predictable, but it remains vigorous throughout and ends in a spectacularly satisfying way. Explosions and gunfire will cause enemies to lose limbs and copious amounts of blood, making World at War a sight more violent than Modern Warfare. Still, in between the burning, stabbing, and gibbing, there is a lot of crouching behind cover and picking off enemies with your trusty rifle. This kind of action, and most of the other weapons, will feel familiar to anyone who has played a World War II shooter before. It's a well-tuned and exciting familiarity, but it doesn't make any notable leaps.

The most notable new feature to WAW is a co-operative game called Nazi Zombies, playable when you beat the campaign (or play with someone who has). This absurd game puts up to four players in a house that is being assaulted by the undead. Killing the fiends and repairing the barricades earns you points that you then spend to replenish ammunition, buy new guns, and unlock new areas of the house. Each subsequent wave brings tougher, faster, more numerous enemies, and the game inevitably ends in grisly death. Though the random weapon box, assorted power-ups, and skills of your teammates add some variation, each play-through is similar to the last. Still, it makes for some intense, frantic fun and provides a welcome, if slightly bizarre, change of pace.

World at War brings proven Call of Duty mechanics back to WWII with great success.


Bone Eater [DVD] [2007] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Bone Eater [DVD] [2007] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Offered by RAREWAVES USA
Price: £8.81

2 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Bone Eater (aka Skeleton Rider), 10 July 2013
A mythical Native American creature is unearthed, unleashing a vengeful killing spree on a small town. Starring Bruce Boxleitner and Gil Gerard.

Let there be no doubt that the Bone Eater is one of the silliest looking movie monsters to come along in recent memory. An unholy amalgamation of some evil renegade warriors, inadvertently unearthed by a greedy land developer excavating sacred Indian land. And then there's that phantom horse it conjures up - a skeletal spectral horse composed of dust and bones, which it rides while Old Western movie musical riffs play on the soundtrack, perhaps the Bone Eater would have been more at home on an episode of 'Bravestarr' instead. The Bone Eater could very well be the goofiest looking movie monster meant to be taken seriously.

And I must say that it is rather amazing how a CGI monster can move with all the jerkiness of an old fashioned stop-motion creation.

I just hope that neither director and co-writer Jim Wynorski (using one of his many aliases) nor anyone else involved with the making of the movie ever got it in their head that this monster would scare anyone except maybe the smallest of children. It's visual menace rarely rises above a Halloween decoration. Heck, given how bloodless the film is, Bone Eater is probably suitable viewing for children. As I watched characters scream in the presence of this cartoonish skeletal demon, I found myself wondering when the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers would show up.

Instead of a Power Ranger we get Bruce Boxleitner with a heavy base of red make-up on his face in order to try and pass him off as half-Indian.

All the Native American characters are right out of the great big book of Indian archetypes: wise old Indian, pretty Indian girl, and the spiteful one with a serious dislike of both the white man and half breeds. None, however, are anywhere near as clichéd as the evil land developer who'll stop at nothing to make sure no one prevents his project from being completed.

The movie also features very short (and I mean short) appearances from actors like, William Katt as a town doctor, Walter Koenig as a scientist whose whole scene ultimately amounts to nothing substantial, and Veronica Hamel.

Still, I have to say Bone Eater went down easier than other similar sci-fi/horror movies I've viewed in the past year. The visual sight of the monster does give the film moments of wacky charm, but other than that, Bone Eater kind of bites the dust.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 4, 2015 10:43 PM BST


The Secret Agent Club [1996] [DVD]
The Secret Agent Club [1996] [DVD]
Dvd ~ Hulk Hogan
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £4.24

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars The Secret Agent Club, 7 July 2013
When Jeremy Chase (Matthew McCurley) realises his mild-mannered toy seller dad (Hulk Hogan) is a globe-trotting secret agent, Jeremy sets out to rescue him from a treacherous female foreign arms dealer and her sinister henchmen. Lesley-Anne Down co-star's in this family adventure.

Fans of Hulk Hogan will know what to expect. You won't get complex plots, you won't get a five star movie, but you will get a former wrestling star just having some fun playing the good guy, and who overcomes the odds and defeats the dark forces of evil.

The movie has some real tacky moments to it but it is a children's movie after all. Hulk Hogan tries his best to act but always ends up looking uncomfortable and clumsy in his role(s). If you are a fan of wrestling hero Hulk Hogan, then you'll enjoy this movie.


Tidal Wave - No Escape [ 1997 ] [ DTS ]
Tidal Wave - No Escape [ 1997 ] [ DTS ]
Dvd ~ Corbin Bernsen
Offered by RAREWAVES
Price: £1.92

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars This made-for-TV disaster movie is near being a disaster itself, 4 July 2013
Having abandoned his Nobel Prize-winning career, scientist John Wahl (Corbin Bernsen) enjoys his lazy retirement at his ocean-side home, until unexpected tsunamis begin to proliferate around the world, and one strikes his beach. Wahl initially refuses requests by the federally controlled Aquatronics Corp. to pick his brain, but relents when he realises that these global meteorological disasters are man-made. Chief Oceanographer Lt. Commander Jessica Weaver (Julianne Phillips) dismisses Wahl's contention that an Aquatronics researcher is harnessing the waves; she harbours her own suspicions about Wahl, who's never been a team player.

Later Weaver discovers records of military experimentation concerning artificially created waves. Both Weaver and Wahl pool their resources to unmask the perpetrator behind the disasters - before another tidal wave strikes.

This made-for-TV disaster movie is near being a disaster itself. The first few minutes of Tidal Wave: No Escape features some serious use of stock footage, add to that an implausible plot, cardboard characters, wooden acting and scientific gobbledygook. The premise was a complete malarkey and about as scientifically credible as an episode of Dangermouse! And to that end I suppose it could be considered as fairly entertaining. But my point is that this one doesn't let you forget that it is a B-movie.


Dying to Belong [DVD] [2005] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Dying to Belong [DVD] [2005] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]

1.0 out of 5 stars What do you get when Zach Morris and the next Karate Kid go to college, together?, 1 July 2013
After a young woman's seemingly accidental death during a sorority hazing, her best friend tries to find out what really happened that night. Starring Hilary Swank. The movie was released in 1997.

Two real hazing cases inspired the making of the movie. The directors compared several hazing incidents. There are not many cases that include women. There are only a few documented cases that include college women. It was those particular cases that served as the basis for Dying to Belong.

Although the movie features (future) multiple Oscar winner Hilary Swank, I felt the only real interesting parts to the movie was the sorority rush and hazing rituals. From there the story kind of strolls along in neutral gear. With a predictable plot, some weak performances from many child actors/actresses, this movie will not appeal to a more mature audience.


Miracle on the Mountain The Kincaid Family Story
Miracle on the Mountain The Kincaid Family Story

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting family drama, 24 Jun. 2013
Tom Kincaid (William Devane) and his wife, Anne (Patti Duke), are looking forward to celebrating their anniversary at their winter cabin with their three children (Carla, Rick and Susan). Tom is a wealthy businessman who has built his fortune on a chain of furniture stores. Although successful in business, his domineering personality creates too much family tension and anxiety. Much to the chagrin of his wife who carries the burden of easing the tension between her husband and their children.

On the morning of the trip, Tom and family wait impatiently at the airport for youngest daughter Susan. After learning that her ride got stuck in a storm on the way to the airport, Tom decides they should go ahead without her. Although the winds are fierce, he refuses to cancel or postpone the flight. As the private plane takes-off with Tom at the helm, the storm intensifies. Soon the wings ice up, throwing the plane out of control and into a mountain. The family must trust and rely on each other to survive an avalanche, hunger and freezing winds.

If we've learned nothing from reality (or even movies), one should never take a small plane up in bad weather at night. Still, the inevitable crash and the search and rescue operation become a dramatic device so that the real talents of each family member can emerge.

Director Michael Switzer makes good use of snowy mountain locales (filmed on location in Vancouver, Canada) and thankfully keeps the story moving. Technical credits go to the plane crash sequence which occurs at night (this is probably a good thing), and with a happy ending assured, it's the perfect "family sitting down to dinner" type of movie.


Miracle on the Mountain: The Kincaid Family Story [DVD] [2000] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Miracle on the Mountain: The Kincaid Family Story [DVD] [2000] [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
Offered by RAREWAVES USA
Price: £15.44

3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Interesting family drama, 24 Jun. 2013
Tom Kincaid (William Devane) and his wife, Anne (Patti Duke), are looking forward to celebrating their anniversary at their winter cabin with their three children (Carla, Rick and Susan). Tom is a wealthy businessman who has built his fortune on a chain of furniture stores. Although successful in business, his domineering personality creates too much family tension and anxiety. Much to the chagrin of his wife who carries the burden of easing the tension between her husband and their children.

On the morning of the trip, Tom and family wait impatiently at the airport for youngest daughter Susan. After learning that her ride got stuck in a storm on the way to the airport, Tom decides they should go ahead without her. Although the winds are fierce, he refuses to cancel or postpone the flight. As the private plane takes-off with Tom at the helm, the storm intensifies. Soon the wings ice up, throwing the plane out of control and into a mountain. The family must trust and rely on each other to survive an avalanche, hunger and freezing winds.

If we've learned nothing from reality (or even movies), one should never take a small plane up in bad weather at night. Still, the inevitable crash and the search and rescue operation become a dramatic device so that the real talents of each family member can emerge.

Director Michael Switzer makes good use of snowy mountain locales (filmed on location in Vancouver, Canada) and thankfully keeps the story moving. Technical credits go to the plane crash sequence which occurs at night (this is probably a good thing), and with a happy ending assured, it's the perfect "family sitting down to dinner" type of movie.


Dishonored DLC Double Pack: Dunwall City Trials and The Knife of Dunwall (PC DVD)
Dishonored DLC Double Pack: Dunwall City Trials and The Knife of Dunwall (PC DVD)
Offered by Fuzion
Price: £2.86

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Some inspired puzzles and a fresh new campaign, 20 Jun. 2013
Dunwall City Trials is the first DLC pack released for Dishonored. The series of 10 different challenge levels are diverse and inventive, and best of all, they're difficult. They feel like worthy challenges.

With all the supernatural powers players get to use as they take on the role of super-assassin Corvo in Dishonored, it only makes sense that the game would encourage you to exercise your skills in a series of specialised challenge levels. Focusing on four areas: fighting, stealth, speed and puzzle-solving. What's great about these challenges is that Arkane make them each fairly unique. It could have just had players racing on rooftops again and again, or doing four variations on target shooting (well, there is a target shooting challenge). Instead, the developer came up with some really smart ways to test players capabilities in using the gifts of The Outsider.

Firing up the DLC gives you a rundown of all the challenges, and each has a specific icon to indicate what part of your skill set you'll be exercising when you start it up. A few are a bit pedestrian - a survival mode brawl against a series of random enemies, each harder than the last, makes too much sense (and is too much fun) to pass up. Others, like a speed run that has players descending a bunch of drops while performing air assassinations at every step of the way, are truly inspired.

Each of the challenges includes a three-star rating and a points-based scoring system. The rules of each are different, but the goal is always to earn as much points as possible to rack up a high rating. Break two stars or better and you unlock the even harder "Expert" versions of each challenge, getting three stars even on the "Normal" challenges is a tall order.

Some of the 10 challenges are inventive and inspiring. For example Mystery Foe, a stealth-based challenge that recalls the level "Lady Boyle's Last Party" from the original campaign, requires you sneaking around a mansion undetected, while gathering clues about which of the various party guests you have to assassinate. The fewer clues you find relating to your target, the more points you score; you're also given bonus points for avoiding guards and for not requiring to knock anyone out.

Other challenges are a little more simplistic. Bonfire Run is a speed run with checkpoints along the way, more or less; another challenge has you shooting down as many whale oil tanks as you can, like at a skeet shooting range. But they all have a bit of a Dishonored twist, the survival mode provides you with different powers at certain intervals, giving you the opportunity to change your tactics.

The Air Assassination speed run is particularly addictive, as is the time-bending massacre puzzle, in which players have to figure out how to use a short stint of frozen time to their advantage to kill as many people in a level as possible. Even the simpler challenges make great use of what makes Dishonored interesting - its powers system, and to test the skills players have built-up through the course of the game.

Dunwall City Trials is not going to be for everyone. This isn't a story-driven DLC, after all, and it adds nothing to the narrative or characterisation of the game. What it does, however, is give you some nifty playgrounds in which to mess with Arkane's intriguing and sophisticated set of tools. This sort of thing is a skill player or a completionist's idea of a really good time. Dunwall City Trials will provide several hours of infuriating, but ultimately rewarding, entertainment.

The Knife of Dunwall (DLC) is an enticing invitation to dive back into the engrossing world of Dishonored. You step into Daud's (leader of the assassins) sneaky, stabby boots. He can manoeuvre and murder with the same stealthy grace and brutal panache as Corvo, but he has a few new tricks that freshen things up and encourage experimentation. You spend time in two new districts of the ailing Dunwall, and the city once again proves to be an interesting place that rewards exploration in intriguing and gratifying ways.

The opening cutscene of The Knife of Dunwall chronicles an event anyone who played Dishonored will remember: the assassination of Empress Kaldwin. Once again, you watch helplessly as the knife plunges in, but this time, you see it from a first-person perspective. As Daud narrates his memories of that fateful day, it becomes very clear that you have left the wrongly accused innocent behind; you are now the cold-blooded murderer. These grim beginnings may beckon you towards a brutal playthrough, or Daud's regret may inspire you to tread a nonlethal path.

Unlike Corvo, whose personality was shaped by your actions and conversations with those around you, Daud can speak for himself. His brooding monologues and brief interactions with his second-in-command, Billie Lurk, help establish his character. He speaks with a kind of doomed poetry, like a weary old detective from a noir film. His personality resonates nicely with the seedy characters he pursues, unscrupulous men who are moving up in the world even as Dunwall circles the drain.

One of the new districts you visit is the slaughterhouse where the great whales that Dunwall's ships pull from the sea are harvested for oil, hooked into machinery while they slowly die. In this bloody corner of the city, a labour dispute simmers as workers protest an exploitative magnate and his vicious butchers. Later, you travel to a residential district where a grasping lawyer is evicting plague-ridden families and seizing their assets, even if they aren't actually infected. Both areas offer new perspectives on Dunwall society and are rich with out-of-the-way places where you can find intriguing notes and helpful goodies. Each provides numerous opportunities to ply your deadly, or not so deadly, trade.

Everyone should get a kick out of the new possibilities offered by Daud's blink ability. When Daud activates this quick teleport power, time stops. From your frozen position, whether on the ground or in midair, you can aim your target reticle, pick your destination, and zip off at your leisure. This comes in handy if an enemy is about to discover you and you want to escape, and it also encourages some daredevil experimentation.

Daud can also summon an assassin to fight at his side or in his stead, which can be helpful and amusing, if not very stealthy. Your companions are novices and draw a lot of attention unless you spend runes on certain upgrades, making them initially better as distractions while you sneak past or take on other foes. Once upgraded, they get a fair bit deadlier, and having a hit man on hand imparts a feeling of power appropriate to Daud's role as master assassin. There are also new mines that zap individual enemies as they pass by, as well as gas grenades for making nonlethal getaways.

Purchasable favours give you an extra incentive to look around, letting you pay money for someone to leave a stolen rune behind, or for a worker to scrawl a safe code on the wall. Favours are a small addition, but one of many that contribute to the feeling that you are playing as a distinct character and having a new adventure.

This DLC can last upward of 5-6 hours, depending on how thoroughly you explore every nook-and-cranny.

The Knife of Dunwall delivers enough new tricks to entertain throughout, but the real pay-off of this DLC is how it takes the cocktail of discovery, exploration, and combat that made Dishonored so delicious, and adds an engaging twist.

I purchased this double pack for as little as £6.00 (approx.) as DLC via Steam, as part of their intermittent special offers.


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