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Heltor Chasca "Heltor Chasca" (Somerset, UK)

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Route Britannia, the Journey South: A Spontaneous Bicycle Ride through Every County in Britain
Route Britannia, the Journey South: A Spontaneous Bicycle Ride through Every County in Britain
Price: £3.99

5.0 out of 5 stars Always a Good Laugh, 17 April 2017
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A fine read yet again. I NEED the next one. Quirky, funny and witty. This is one clever author. Thank you Steven.


TomTom Bandit Bike Pack Action Camera
TomTom Bandit Bike Pack Action Camera
Price: £270.88

0 of 2 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Zero Action Camera: Avoid TomTom Bandit. Owns the title for good reason., 2 Feb. 2017
3 cameras in a row were faulty which consistently shut down after about 3 minutes. I missed filming my family at Christmas and a new year mountain bike tour. It irks me that I sold my old camera to pay for this! None of the TomTom cameras made it off my kitchen table let alone experience the brutality of a bike. It is still an ongoing issue 2 months later. The software is very poor too. Utter rubbish.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 6, 2017 4:00 PM GMT


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1.0 out of 5 stars Very Lengthy Delivery and Strange Cut and Colour, 15 Dec. 2016
This item took so long to arrive, the supplier sent a short sleeve jersey as an apology. Torso fitted as described but arms were for those with really skinny forearms. Actually very uncomfortable. The colour wasn't purplish as in photo, but more a strange lilac/magenta. The worst thing was it was shiny. 80s, disco shiny. Nasty. I wouldn't buy again.


Uglyfrog Men's Sleeveless Cycling Jersey Spring Bike Vest Clothing H14
Uglyfrog Men's Sleeveless Cycling Jersey Spring Bike Vest Clothing H14
Offered by April days
Price: £25.99

1.0 out of 5 stars Colour not as Described and Sizing and Style Very Strange, 15 Dec. 2016
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This item took an absolute age to arrive. I chased it up and was refunded a tiny amount in compensation. The white bands on the sleeves and lower band are more like 50mm and they stick out. We are talking 80s shoulder pad look! The torso is a fair fit but the collar gapes open. Suitable for those with bull necks and the sleeves are just weird. I wouldn't buy again.


Hungry for Miles: Cycling across Europe on One Pound a Day
Hungry for Miles: Cycling across Europe on One Pound a Day
Price: £1.99

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Another corker of a book by Steven and his sharp, mischievous mind..., 24 Dec. 2015
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...because they are two separate entities you know. He's obviously one of life's top blokes. He can strike the balance between fact, fiction, humour, sadness and in this case famine. Foraging and cycling are interests of mine and I was keen to get some tips on fishing. Sadly they were so bad at catching any piscine suppers, I didn't learn a thing. I did learn how to transport and use a cycle-tourist's-washing machine though! Read and find out. Ingenious.

This small group of adventurers set out to see if it really is possible to live on a meagre budget and you will have to read the book yourself to see if they achieve this very difficult task. Traveling through some of Europe's culinary epicentres (look & smell don't touch) they endeavour to promote awareness of a very serious social issue that's closer to our doorsteps than we can imagine. How does the group stick it out, burning more calories than they can consume? How do they not end up scrapping amongst themselves and eating Dave and his beard? Because they were too knackered that's why.

Thank you for sharing your intelligent wit and passion for all things good Steven. I hope your nose grows back...b


George Pearly Is A Miserable Old Sod
George Pearly Is A Miserable Old Sod
Price: £2.99

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Assassination, shredded goats & nicked knickers. Hilarious., 18 Dec. 2015
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I don't know how he does it. The author must be knackered after writing this. Every sentence is clever, witty and funny. The story borders on stupendous, ridiculous and dysfunctional. And that's just the half of it. There's a twizzly twist at the end to delight event the most miserable of all sods. This is another fantastic book by the author. Thank you for sharing the madness.


Men's Cycling Sports Sunglasses, Cool Goggle Sunalasses With 3 Lens, Full UV 400 Protection - Perfect for Cycling Sports, Driving - Perfect for Ski / Snowboard / Sports / Cycling / Fishing / Biking (Black)
Men's Cycling Sports Sunglasses, Cool Goggle Sunalasses With 3 Lens, Full UV 400 Protection - Perfect for Cycling Sports, Driving - Perfect for Ski / Snowboard / Sports / Cycling / Fishing / Biking (Black)

1.0 out of 5 stars Appalling. Buyer Beware, 6 Dec. 2015
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Bought here for the low-light, yellow lenses for winter cycling. On changing the lenses I found one half of the nose piece was broken and one of the nuts (red dot on side) had threaded so couldn't tighten. So cheap I opted to fix and make do. Superglue reacted and turned black to white. Magic! The fake Oakley (called Okley or something) did provide cheap laughs. AND it's a cheap way to find out if genuine Oakley 'Jaw Wires' are your thing.


Tiger Reusable Hook and Loop Cable Ties - Black (Pack of 10)
Tiger Reusable Hook and Loop Cable Ties - Black (Pack of 10)
Price: £2.89

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Cheap & Nasty POOR VALUE, 8 Sept. 2015
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Waste of Money: The logo looks smudged and not clear like the photo. Most of the straps are frayed and I haven't taken them out the bag.


No Place Like Home, Thank God: A 22,000 Mile Bicycle Ride Around Europe
No Place Like Home, Thank God: A 22,000 Mile Bicycle Ride Around Europe
by Steven Primrose-Smith
Edition: Paperback
Price: £9.99

2 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars The Best Yet, 9 May 2015
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Finally! Steven your book is brilliant. The last two bike travelogues I've read had me wishing I'd never been interested in bikes, croissants, hotel receptionists hills and giving my bike a name. I've laughed out loud at a lot in your book. I'm pleased you have unashamedly chucked your dark humour into the mix and been edgy from the off. Too many authors try and mainstream their writing by being too polite and PC to please everyone. You are a fine ambassador for Blackburn and the North, long hair, beards and oversized forearms.

But Hell's teeth: Even in Afrika I never saw an Englishman with Sun bleached eyebrows! I see a fashion phenomenon sneaking into the world of cycle touring. Pass the peroxide. 40% mind...b


Along the Med on a Bike Called Reggie
Along the Med on a Bike Called Reggie
by Andrew P. Sykes
Edition: Paperback
Price: £9.99

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Too Much Too Soon?, 28 April 2015
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I liked 3 things about this book: The paper, the cover and the fact it is self published. That was it I'm afraid. It is full of spelling errors (come on teach!) and each page is a sea of tiny text, from the top of the page to the bottom providing no relief or escape for the reader.

I really enjoyed the first book but I get the impression the author had enough of riding and writing by the time this book was half done. Maybe this was written too close to the last? It lacked the humour of the last book and frankly: a chapter for each day of your journey? No one's adventure is that exciting! I will be a happier person if I never have to read about another continental breakfast or anti-cyclist hotel receptionist.

I felt compelled to read the book to the end because it was so expensive. I almost feel relieved I've completed the task.

I'm sorry Andrew and Reggie you lost me on this book (and Twitter)


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