Learn more Shop now Shop now Shop now Shop now Shop now Shop now Shop now Learn More Shop now Shop now Learn more Shop Fire Shop Kindle Learn More Shop now Shop Women's Shop Men's
Profile for Mr. J. P. Emptage > Reviews

Personal Profile

Content by Mr. J. P. Emptage
Top Reviewer Ranking: 11,040,111
Helpful Votes: 45

Learn more about Your Profile.

Reviews Written by
Mr. J. P. Emptage (Reading)
(REAL NAME)   

Show:  
Page: 1 | 2 | 3
pixel
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story [DVD] [2016] [2017]
Rogue One: A Star Wars Story [DVD] [2016] [2017]
Dvd ~ Felicity Jones
Price: £8.99

15 of 150 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Avoid this film like the plague, 28 Mar. 2017
SPOILERS

This is quite possibly the worst film i have seen (that i wanted to see).it fails on almost every level with the notible exception of the X wing battle which also has a couple of flaws.

First of all every character dies at the end which on one level should be a good ending but i found myself not really caring at all.

Secondly the there is very little character development and the two leads have the depth of a small puddle.

The third issue is the space battle it could have been great if only Red 5 hadn't been intended as comic relief (which failed) it was just dumb and I hated the character.

Then there are the lead characters they are both totally unlikable so a the end when they die you really couldn't care less.

The supporting cast are more likable but still so shallow you don't really identify with any of them. I kid you not one guys story is he has a big gun that's it.

The casting is also pretty bad I've already mentioned Red 5 but Darth Vader is all wrong and just looks cheap.

The story had potential but again is mishandled they should have made a trilogy following Kyle Kartan from the Dark Forces/Jedi Knight games I mean FFS even doom had a better story than this and that's just because you know demons. in

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say even episode 1-3 were better than this steaming pile of dog mess. In short don't buy it get Fantistic Beasts instead it's a much better film
Comment Comments (17) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 19, 2017 6:04 PM BST


Harry Potter: The Complete Collection (1-7)
Harry Potter: The Complete Collection (1-7)
Price: £37.74

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Possibly the best series in the history of everything ever, 26 Feb. 2017
If you've never read Harry potter you must have been living under a rock for the past few years I admit when I first herd about Harry Potter i wasn't really fussed but i was lent the first two books after a chapter I was hooked. these books might just be one of the best series ever written rivalling even J.R.R Tolkins master pice the lord of the rings and the Hobbit. As this set comprises 7 books I'll review each one individually

Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone
This is the first book and make no mistake this is a kids book ( recently reread it for a 11th time as a 32 year old man and still loved as much as the first time) but J.K. Rowling's packing and skill at crafting the world keeps you engaged page after page you meet a large range of people from goblins to giants and many more all of who are so well written even those with small parts.

Once Harry gets to school we get descriptions of some of the best sounding meals ever (just one reason I love this series) There are twists and turns in a great story ark which introduce the characters really well and actually makes you care about them and the out come it also sets you up really well for the next book.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
This book is quite important to the series we get a bit more insight to the characters and are introduced to Tom Riddle who is vital to the story as it turns out. there are many clues to future points some of which are quite important including a main point of the last two books I won't spoil it quite yet.While this book is very similar in tone to the first one there is an over arching sense of menace which is in contrast to the first. We also meet fan favourite Debby the house elf and Lucias Malfoy there is also Lockhart who provides a nice bit of comic relief and the final bit has a great fight between harry and ...well I won't spoil it and it leaves you thirsty for the next book.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
This is where the series really hit's it's stride Harry Ron and Hermione are now in third year and are allowed out into the village of Hogsmeade on some weekends throughout the term Harry obtains another artefact that becomes central to the story like the cloak of invisibility we learn a little more about Harrys Dad and his school friends in this one (indeed 3 of them feature in this book) Voldermort isn't actually in this one but there are some more Major characters are introduced who play huge parts later in the series.Again there is an overriding sense of menace from sirius black and the Demonters I'll leave them of you to discover they are terrifying.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
This one is great it starts with a murder and what is left of Lord Voldermort very heavily harry is entered in to a competition (against his will) where he does battle with all manner of magical creatures in a variety of tasks designed to test him and a champion from two other schools. Harry and Ron are noticing girls and we see Ron at his worst (his jealously gets the better of him he also bit of a bully) and best (his loyalty to Harry) we also get a slight love interest for Harry and Hermione which is nice. The last bit has a massive twist and again a really good battle scene.

Ok fair warning the next review will contain spoilers

Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix
This the longest book in the series but also one of the best it all starts with Harry and Dudley being attacked by Dementors which leads to Harry going to court Voldermort is being very secretive about his return and the ministry is trying to discredit Harry and Dumbledore who are saying to anyone who will listen or not that he is back. There is a great DADA teacher inn this book who is so evil (different than Voldermort) that you won't believe it it's kind of a love to hate thing I can't really do this book justice in a review you'll just have to read it There is an ace fight in the Ministry and a Major character dies at the end.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
This one is pretty good there is the spectre of Voldermort hanging over this book but the main thing is we learn so much about Voldermorts childhood and parentage. We also find out a bit more about Riddles Diary and we get a new Potions master Snape is teaching DADA. Malfoy also has big part to play he is missing Quiddich matches and seems to be getting ill but why there are also a couple of murder attempts that almost kill two people including Ron. The end of the book is really dark and a huge death takes place .Harry and Ron also both get girl friends Ron's is pretty funny and we get to see a of of angst from the usually very reserved Hermione which is fun.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
This is kind a book of two halves the first half is Harry Ron and Hermione travelling around aim lesssly looking for a way too destroy a horcrux there are a few good parts within this like visiting Gordricks Hollow and we gain a lot of information on Dumbledores' early life then there is the second half after they escape from a kind of kidnapping which includes breaking in to the bank and stealing something from the vault and then finally the battle of Hogwarts many people die in this book so be warned.

Overall this series is brilliant I've tried to do it justice without too many spoilers which is very hard and I'm not sure I managed it but it is great and well worth your time and money it's my fav route series ever buy it.


Steep: Gold Edition  [PC Code - Uplay]
Steep: Gold Edition [PC Code - Uplay]

5.0 out of 5 stars Steep and deep, 30 Dec. 2016
This may be the very best skiing game released on the PC or any platform for that matter ever. I'll get this out of the way first THIS IS NOT SSX SSX is a lot more arcady and focused on tricks this game really try's to give a more realistic view on mountain sports (Skiing Snowboarding Wingsuiting parapenting and in the expansions coming soon Rocket Wing,Sledging, speed parachuting and base jumping) I'm going to break this down in to several points just for ease of reading.

Gameplay I really can't fault this the controls are simple and it's very easy to play which lets you free to just bask in the speed and fun of the events Raceing Fun park events, free ride to mention but a few.

Play area it's massive you are free to explore it at your leisure I have been playing for days and I'm still exploring the first range there e are other areas coming including alaska and i herd a rumour about Japan.

Graphics The graphics are just beautiful quite realistic I spend ages just looking at the screen and it is great

If i'm honest you'll get more out of this if you do these sports particularly skiing or snowboarding if you don't you might not enjoy it as a skier i love it I've been waiting for a game like this for years and I love it if you get it you will too hell it might even get you to try it.


Nintendo Switch - Grey
Nintendo Switch - Grey
Price: £269.99

1 of 2 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Should you get it?, 20 Oct. 2016
This review is from: Nintendo Switch - Grey (Console)
The Switch if you've been living under a rock is Nintendos new hybrid home console I've had it for a couple of weeks now an I've got to say I love the build quality and 720 p in the potable screen are really good and it also works beautifully well in 1080p on a TV screen. so should you get it? If you ave a WII U I would say wait one of the criticism levelled at the Switch is the lack of games and while that is a problem once it gets to October you'll stat seeing more exclusives you can't get on the WIIu if your tempted for Zelda get it on WII U then wait to see if anything takes your fancy in the exclusives for the rest of the year.

While at the time of writing there are few games out there are quite a few for people like me who skipped the WII U. Some games confirmed this year are:

Legend of Zelda breath of the wild (already out and one of the best games ever)
Lego City Undercover (already out and looks really fun )
Mario kart 8 deluxe (a WII U game but as I skipped the WII U I might get it)
Splatoon 2 (Switch exclusive and looks really good)
Mario Odyssey ( It's Mario what more do i need to say)

there are also some good looking games from 3rd partys'

The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim (not my cup of tea but given how many people love the series it will sell systems)
Steep (really good game I have it on PC)
FiFA (it's FIFA)

There are other games toot it looks like the 3rd partys are testing the water although wit some of there bigger titles which was the issue with the Wii U no 3rd paths I realise this sounds like a Wii U review but it is essential to mention that product to understand the new offering. So what's new.

The new console is obviously much more powerful and can out put at 1080p on a TV and 720p on it's screen and the load time (at least on the game I have) are really nice and quick the build quality is also really nice it actually feels sturdy the analog sticks some have said are a little stiff or don't have much range I can't really say I've noticed it. There have been issues for some users with the left joy con loosing syncbut I haven't experienced it and it seems Nintendos updates have fixed that issue. the issue I have noticed it that the screen is really weak you'll want a screen protecter and possibly a case to protect the screen but hose don't cost too much the controllers also have gyros which indicate that we could get some motion controlled games I personally would love a game similar to WII sports or Red Steel.

UI the switch has really nice Ui got are the tiles and in is a clean screen with icons for each game you have played on the system below that there are several icons for news the E shop settings and sleep mode it's al pretty intuitive.

The switches USP is you can take the console with you and play anywhere you go This works really well and it's as easy the the trailer would have you think you just dis connect the joy cons from the comfort grip clip them on tho the screen and off you go.

So should you buy it in short yes the portable factor makes it worth it. The long answer is yes if there are enough games to attract you if you only want Zelda and have a Wii U I'd hold off until later in the year but for me I'm glad i got it.


Harry Potter and The Cursed Child - Parts One and Two: The Official Script Book of the Original West End Production (Special Rehearsal Edition)
Harry Potter and The Cursed Child - Parts One and Two: The Official Script Book of the Original West End Production (Special Rehearsal Edition)
by J.K. Rowling
Edition: Hardcover
Price: £9.00

5 of 8 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Good once J K Rowling took over, 31 July 2016
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I'd give this book a higher rating if the start was better really you can see where J K Rowling took charge of the story Because the first part is like Eastenders with wands the character Albus Potter you like lessened less and less until finally he kind of redeems him self on the top of the train at that point finally the book seems to become the Harry Potter we all know and love.

This is not the story J K Rowling would have written I actually don't think she wanted much to do with the play she could have left it an let it die but I'm glad she didn't you can really see when she took charge and from that point it really is pretty enjoyable

I certainly wouldn't recommend this as a starting point but if you can look past the go awful first few chapters you have a pretty enjoyable Harry Potter story I'd recommend it for fans but if you haven't read the previous books first defiantly read them first in articular 2 4 and 5 it's good but it's not the best potter story out there.


Halter Bonbons Sugar-Free Watermelon 40g
Halter Bonbons Sugar-Free Watermelon 40g
Offered by Cooking Marvellous
Price: £2.99

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars these are really really good I got some on holiday and the flavour is ..., 28 April 2016
these are really really good I got some on holiday and the flavour is the best I've tasted ever and I've eaten a lot of watermelon sweets get them you won't regret it.


Nintendo Wii Mini Red
Nintendo Wii Mini Red

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Just get a normal one avoid this, 3 Mar. 2015
This review is from: Nintendo Wii Mini Red (Console)
First of all let me say the Wii is a great console all the games are great fun and on paper a cheaper smaller Wii sounds great but this is not a Wii. On a modern console you expect internet access and the Full fat wee does have this and it is used quite well, they are actually pulling on line support from some of their first party games like Mario Kart and super smash bros but thats because they are out on wii U an they despratly need to shift that console it like last chance saloon for it right now but on the Wii mini you have no internet that means you don't have one of the main selling points apart from retail games you have no virtual console so you cant play and download any old titles like the ace Super Mario 3 or 1080 snowboarding (you'll need another controller for the latter)

the Wii is also backwards compatible with the game cube (you need a controler and memory card but it's not that expensive is the Wii mini, of course not so your now not only missing out on the virtual console titles but games like Rebel strike(which is excellent by the way)

A full Wii (white one or black) with 1 or 2 games (the black comes wih Wii sports resort and motion plus) costs just a little more you may even be able to get it for less.

So don't get this it's a cut down get the full Wii or if you want the currant one a Wii U this is not woth the money at all.


Far Cry 4 - Limited Edition (PC DVD)
Far Cry 4 - Limited Edition (PC DVD)

4.0 out of 5 stars Great game, 12 Dec. 2014
This game is fantastic Kyrat is a beauty to behold much like far cry 2 the change of local (not beautiful desert island) has worked very nicely. The gun play is also quite good you can go in all guns blazing once you get a gun but what is more fun is sneaking up on guards from behind and killing them silently or releasing the caged wild animals you find in some places so they can take care of the guards for you. you can approach each mission a multitude of ways you need to decide how to do it.

What is also a good point is you can build skills with XP like in a RPG there are also stores where you can buy update and sell various products this really is the best FPS I have played.

So why only 4 stars why not 5 well three is a stuttering problem but the new patch may fix that they say it does so yeah I sy buy it if the new patch fixes the stuttering 5 stars.


Far Cry 2 (PC)
Far Cry 2 (PC)

2.0 out of 5 stars Great potential huge drawbacks spoils fun, 1 Dec. 2014
This review is from: Far Cry 2 (PC) (Video Game)
This Game had such potential and it a real shame this review has to be so negative.first of all let me give a couple of good points because there are a few First of all the shift to Africa is pretty good and the Scenery is stunning the first few minuets are excellent with a car chase and the voice acting of the NPC's is very good and the atmospheric effects are incredible especially the fire effect.

If they had left it there and created a game with those features the this would easily get 5 stars but there are couple of things that have been included that bring this game down all done in the name of realism I'm sure but it is at the cost of fun which is what a game should be.

1/ The guns jam and over heat meaning in the middle of a fire fight your gun will stop working meaning you die

2/Malaria your character will periodically collapse and you'll need to take some Malaria pills to continue playing but you can only carry 6 at a time and you can only buy them in the towns I mean why it's not needed it detracts from the fun of the game.

These were rectified in Far cry 3 and I believe 4 I'd get them instead or hell even the original far cry is better I'd get them instead not this one


Nokia 3310 unlocked Used Mobile Phone - Black
Nokia 3310 unlocked Used Mobile Phone - Black

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars great little phone, 15 May 2014
I got this phone back in Augest 2000 when I started collage I absolutely loved this phone it had good battery life a handly little calculator app and the classic snake 2 it can also send texts and hs an app where you can compose your own polyphonic ring tones I found a now long dead website which showed you how to compose popular tones(like the X files theme) on the thing. which was great fun.

If you want a cheap phone that is just a phone maybe for a festival this summer season or something that wont matter like it would if you lost your £500 i phone get this you wont regret it I have very fond memory's of this phone.


Page: 1 | 2 | 3