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Darryl Ashton

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Poems from my Heart
Poems from my Heart
by Mr Darryl Ashton
Edition: Paperback
Price: £5.50

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Brilliant Poem Book, 26 April 2017
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Poems from my Heart (Paperback)
A brilliant poem book by an absolutely brilliant and extremely talented poet.


My Crazy World of Football Poems
My Crazy World of Football Poems
by Mr Darryl Ashton
Edition: Paperback
Price: £3.50

0 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I would seriously recommend this brilliant poem book - especially if you like ..., 21 Jun. 2016
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
I would seriously recommend this brilliant poem book - especially if you like football. Ignore the scaremongers and the jealous trolls that seem to plague this Amazon website. Brilliant poems Sir Darryl Ashton. Please do keep writing.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 22, 2016 9:32 AM GMT


The Summer of May
The Summer of May
by Cecilia Galante
Edition: Paperback
Price: £5.41

4.0 out of 5 stars THE SUMMER OF MAY, 3 May 2016
This review is from: The Summer of May (Paperback)
THE BEAUTIFUL MONTH OF MAY

With the coming month
of May
Can everywhere be seen
Signs of the approaching
summer,
A truly rustic scene

Of lilac blossom, daisies
Which have been linked
to certain chain
To bedeck the current
May Queen
As she begins her annual
reign.

Nothing can really surpass
The beauty that is May,
The days, still lengthening,
bring perfection
That in our minds will
always stay.

The dawn that brings the
sunrise
To stir a heart of stone,
A field of golden buttercups,
These joys are May's alone.

Every month holds beauty
To please both heart and
eye
Yet May comes with her
own promise
That another summertime
is nigh.

Other months have emblems
The passing seasons to
portray
But non can hold more
glory
More perfection than the
beautiful month of May.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Sonnets and Poems
Oxford Shakespeare: The Complete Sonnets and Poems
by WilliamShakespeare
Edition: Paperback

4.0 out of 5 stars OXFORD SHAKESPEARE: THE COMPLETE SONNETS AND POEMS, 1 May 2016
HAPPY 400th ANNIVERSARY TO WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

My name is William Shakespeare,
and I don't get all this fuss.
So I am 400-years-old, but I still
need to travel by bus!
The BBC are going overboard,
to mark my special day.
But if you are like me - I feel so
much dismay!

Yes, it is true, I wrote poems all
day long.
Only breaking to eat my food -
when I heard the dinner gong.
I don't class myself as special -
in any shape or form.
But my writings are classed as
classics - and really cause a
storm.

I also write my poems - but they
aren't very good.
I really could do a whole lot
better - yes, I know I should.
The world has marked my special
day - though I don't know why;
'Every time I read a play - it really
makes me cry!'

I don't really like my poems - they're
boring to a tee.
Yes, you can pay for a book -
they're not for "BLOODY FREE!"
There are lots of other famous
writers - and who are old just like
me.
But the BBC never mentions them -
it's plain enough to see.

I didn't use a computer - or a type
writer - just a bleeding wobbly
quill,
I also suffered from writer's cramp -
and had to take a pill!
I got no joy out of writing - but its
what I did all day.
Dipping my droopy quill in the ink -
and spilling ink in my tray!

I really had a vision - and I saw a
computer aloft.
I never thought that 400 years on -
we'd be writing with Microsoft!
But even in my own despair, I heard
the sound of a bugle.
Sounding the arrival of the computer
and the geeky GOOGLE!!!!

But I did it all myself you see - writing
every day and night.
But I just didn't realise - my works
would be such a delight!
Happy 400th anniversary - and may
my writings make you all cheer.
Thank you one and all - from a very
old...WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: All 213 Plays, Poems, Sonnets, Apocryphal Plays + The Biography: The Life of William Shakespeare by Sidney Lee: ... - The Tempest - Othello and many more
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare: All 213 Plays, Poems, Sonnets, Apocryphal Plays + The Biography: The Life of William Shakespeare by Sidney Lee: ... - The Tempest - Othello and many more
Price: £0.49

1 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, 1 May 2016
THE GENIUS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE.

I am the Bard of words
and all,
When I stand to attention -
I feel so tall.
What's my name - I
hear you inquire?
Nobody special - just
William Shakespeare!

I was born before my
time, the ladder I did
climb.
I started to write my
trustee old rhyme.
Armed with a flexible,
and bendy quill,
But I kept on drinking -
my hands never still.

Dreaming up words
and writing them down,
Sometimes this writing
did get me down.
Armed with my mug of
tea and toast,
I used to be known as
the perfect host.

I wish I'd been born
in the future in time.
And getting to grips
with a computer in
mime.
Maybe an Iphone - a
laptop and more.
Clicking and pressing -
oh, what a bore!

My friend Mr Poe, a
writer of horror.
I'll meet him in person -
sometime tomorrow.
Hamlet and Mr Usher,
with the old pendulum.
All this dramatics - it
sounds like bedlam.

I may have embraced
this Google in time.
Embracing the computer,
I'd write perfect rhyme.
I am on stage with my
quill at my side.
The ideas in my head -
they so want to hide.

I am a playwright - I
write for pleasure.
But something tells me
I'll be known for ever.
Just like my friend -
who often felt low.
A writer of horror -
Edgar Allan Poe.

We both used
candlelight on an old
wooden table.
The candle did flicker -
our hands now stable.
We write all through
the night, taking a
drink,
We both needed a
tonic - it helps us to
think.

But I myself am called
a Bard,
I know not why - Mr Poe's
in the yard.
We talk about horror -
and about short poems.
Trying to make more
golden rich coins.
Who would have thought
that we'd live forever.
Our writings world
famous - that's our
endeavour.

It's just a shame we
were in different times.
We could work together -
we'd have written perfect
rhymes.
My death was long ago
and it certainly brought
tears,
William Shakespeare -
happy 400 years!
Read the book my friends,
and look at it hard.
I wrote that book - I'm
known as the Bard.

The passing of time has
resurrected my soul.
I hear the parades, I do
hear them call.
For 400 years my soul
lays still.
But I now write in Heaven,
at my own free will.
The passing of time -
and maybe a tear,
You'll always remember
me...William Shakespeare.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


A Practical Guide to Racism
A Practical Guide to Racism
by C. H. Dalton
Edition: Paperback
Price: £6.99

3 of 10 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A PRACTICAL GUIDE TO RACISM, 1 May 2016
RACISM IN A UK RESTAURANT

A black man in Oxford
went to a restaurant,
He ate all he could do
and more wine he
did greedily want.
He sat there with his
so-called pals, checking
out the totty,
Then in came a pretty
white girl - and he tried
to touch her botty!

The black man refused
to tip her and accused
her of showing "white
tears,"
Had this been the other
way round - racism
would say; 'CHEERS!'
The black man is not
bothered and he says
he would never cry,
Would you like some
black pudding, Sir? Or,
a visit from the FBI?

Racism is racism - no
matter if you're black
or white.
Eating in a restaurant -
all day and all night!
If a waitress serves
you - and she serves
you with a smile.
Give her a good tip -
don't act like you are
senile!

But the black man is
unrepentant - as he
doesn't see any wrong.
Racism in any way -
it certainly isn't song.
The black man calls
the white girl - 'white
tears' and then just
grins.
Sounds like a tribal
warrior - he'll be
punished for his sins.

My message to this
lady; 'don't let this idiot
upset you.'
Just laugh it off - and
smile at him - and call
him; AGADOO!
Then report him to his
chief - and he will get
the spear,
Enter Cochise - his fate
now, he does fear.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Commitment: My Autobiography
Commitment: My Autobiography
by Didier Drogba
Edition: Hardcover
Price: £16.59

0 of 13 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars COMMITMENT: MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY, 4 Feb. 2016
THE DILEMMA OF CHELSEA FOOTBALLER...
JOHN TERRY

My name is John Terry,
and I can't make my
mind up -
I want to play for
Chelsea - and win the
Premier League Cup.
There has been some
speculation - if I'm
leaving London town,
But I really don't know
what to do - and I wear
a frown!

I played alongside
Drogba - and my good
friend, Frank Lampard;
'When we had baths
together - we'd wear
a leotard!'
I really don't know
what to do - my career
is almost over!
I want to stay at Chelsea -
and feel all in clover.

My wages are NOT an
issue - but a pay rise
would be nice.
And playing on the footy
pitch - smelling of Old
Spice!!!!
I wouldn't mind a pay
rise - maybe £300.000
per week.
But if I asked for that
amount - it would be a
bloody cheek!

I have to consider my
future - and my family;
'Maybe I can go to division
two - and play for
Accrington Stanley!'
No, they don't need me -
they are dong well,
Maybe I can go to
Fleetwood Town - I'm
sure I would gel.

Or maybe even Blackpool -
and help them to climb
the league,
it really would be a
challenge, and create lots
of intrigue!
But, there is just one big
problem - they can't afford
my wages.
I could play for free - but
I've not done that in ages.

I want to go to the sun,
somewhere were it's warm,
Play my footy in the sun,
and use my cockney charm!
I could play for Dubai - for
the arabian knights,
And meet old Alibaba - and
hail their footy rights!!!!

I have loved my time at
Chelsea - but my future is
now in doubt.
I will consult my agent - he
is a talent scout!
Whether or not I do leave,
my beloved Chelsea FC,
And move to pastures new -
all will be revealed on the
news - especially on TV!

I have to make a decision,
as I am now getting old.
But, like a lot of other
players; 'I hate doing what
I'm told!'
'Will I say goodbye?' 'Or,
will I stay at Chelsea?'
'It all depends what's on the
table - "mega wages", all
for me!!!!'

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


John Terry: Captain Marvel, the Biography
John Terry: Captain Marvel, the Biography
by Oliver Derbyshire
Edition: Hardcover

4.0 out of 5 stars JOHN TERRY: Captain Marvel, the Biography, 4 Feb. 2016
MY NAME IS JOHN TERRY

My name is John Terry,
and I really have had
enough,
I want to leave Chelsea
football club - 'or do I
call their bluff?'
I came here when I was
fourteen - or, somewhere
in between,
I want to see the world -
if you know what I mean!

Stamford Bridge has been
my home for such a very
long time,
I've played a lot of games
here - I've seen changes
so sublime!
I want to go to pastures
new - and enhance my
skills even more;
'I'd like play till I'm fifty,
blimey, now that I will
adore!'

I have played alongside the
best - and seen some new
faces,
We always get together -
and have a bet on the races!
We all train very hard - we
do have such high standards.
If we win our game - we
have a drink afterwards!

We have a new owner - he
spends a lot of money.
He buys all the best talent -
never no one phony!
Sadly, we lost Jose Mourinho -
he left the club he loved.
But the players rebelled
against him - so out the
door he was shoved!

I am leaving after this season,
but I have to now move on.
To proudly march forward -
Maybe play football in the
sun!
I don't want an English club -
a change is what I need.
I want to broaden my
horizons, a change from the
English Premier League!

Maybe I can join my mate,
my good friend Frank Lampard.
He plays in America - and
he also plays so hard.
Maybe that's my destiny -
to America, I may go?
Playing along side Frank
Lampard - we could put on a
show!

My time at Chelsea is now
all over - time for pastures
new.
I'm not getting any younger -
but this I always knew!
I have also played for England,
and scored a good few
goals.
I also did captain Chelsea -
I was proud - and it always
shows!

I leave Chelsea football club,
with my head held high;
'Another chapter in my life,
this I can't deny.'
Will I go to America? Or,
will I stay in the UK?
Maybe I'll go to Spain - or
somewhere far, far away!

I fancy getting some sun -
Dubai would be nice.
But they aren't BIG on
football - so maybe I'll
think twice!
No matter were I go - it
will be a brand new start
for me;
'I'm leave Chelsea football
club - my name is; 'John
Terry''.

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Trump: The Art of the Deal
Trump: The Art of the Deal
by Donald Trump
Edition: Paperback

6 of 43 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars TRUMP: The Art of the Deal, 28 Jan. 2016
I AM DONALD TRUMP...PART 2

I am Donald Trump - and I
like to shout out loud.
But spouting about the
Muslims - I fail to please
the crowd.
I can easily make new
friends - I just wave my
loadsa money,
But everyone can see - I
really am a phony.

I travel all over America -
and I preach my opinions
as I please,
But the only thing my brain
does hold is lots and lots
of sleaze!!!!
I care about my appearance -
I do like to look smart,
And when I comb my "comb-
over" - I really look the part!!!!

My rantings are what I am -
and I want the Presidents
job,
But all I really am - is a racist,
big-mouth SLOB!
I would close all the borders
along Mexico way,
and then I'd start ranting -
I'd really have my say.

I'll welcome all the Muslims -
if they vote for me,
And once I'm in the White
House - I'll throw them all
out for free!
We must stand firm - and
be tough,
But the American people -
have all had enough.

I live in good old America -
but most Americans don't
share my views,
I sometimes say the wrong
things - and it makes the
TV news.
I must stand firm, and be
tough - and I'll rant my
racism for all;
'Then when the Muslims
get me - they'll deport me
to old Bengal!!!!'

America is great - the land
were everyone is free.
But racist pigs like me -
embarrass America, you see.
My views are so vile - like, me,
they belong in the past,
'I rant, and I rant, - and my
mouth is in gear, but I'm now
a pathetic outcast.'

I may go to Scotland - but I
refuse to wear a kilt,
But I hear they make "Irn-Bru" -
oh, I'll have a can of Lilt!
I don't much understand their
lingo - jocks, I think they're
called;
'But if I don't do my "comb-over" -
I'll be completely BALD!!!!'

The mad world of the Trump -
is known to everyone,
Even to my glitzy wife - who
loves his money throne!
I will need to get a grip of life,
and be more tolerant.
But every time I open my mouth -
it causes an argument!

My vile style isn't nice - and I
really should now change.
Because spouting all my racism -
I should be shot on a shooting
range.
I now do welcome everyone -
as I drink a tasty Pimms;
'I failed to get the President's
job - courtesy of those MUSLIMS!!!!'

So where do I go from here -
to England, and 10 Downing Street?
Oh, I'll be right at home - all those
Muslims I could meet!
They have a new Prime Minister,
who likes to eat a kebaba;
'May I introduce you to - 'oh,
shucks, - it's ALIBABA!!!!!!'

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


Think Like a Champion
Think Like a Champion
by DonaldTrump
Edition: Hardcover

4.0 out of 5 stars DONALD TRUMP: Think Like a Champion, 28 Jan. 2016
This review is from: Think Like a Champion (Hardcover)
(My poem is in poem mode - and also includes satire. Thank You.)

I AM DONALD TRUMP...PART 2

I am Donald Trump - and I
like to shout out loud.
But spouting about the
Muslims - I fail to please
the crowd.
I can easily make new
friends - I just wave my
loadsa money,
But everyone can see - I
really am a phony.

I travel all over America -
and I preach my opinions
as I please,
But the only thing my brain
does hold is lots and lots
of sleaze!!!!
I care about my appearance -
I do like to look smart,
And when I comb my "comb-
over" - I really look the part!!!!

My rantings are what I am -
and I want the Presidents
job,
But all I really am - is a racist,
big-mouth SLOB!
I would close all the borders
along Mexico way,
and then I'd start ranting -
I'd really have my say.

I'll welcome all the Muslims -
if they vote for me,
And once I'm in the White
House - I'll throw them all
out for free!
We must stand firm - and
be tough,
But the American people -
have all had enough.

I live in good old America -
but most Americans don't
share my views,
I sometimes say the wrong
things - and it makes the
TV news.
I must stand firm, and be
tough - and I'll rant my
racism for all;
'Then when the Muslims
get me - they'll deport me
to old Bengal!!!!'

America is great - the land
were everyone is free.
But racist pigs like me -
embarrass America, you see.
My views are so vile - like, me,
they belong in the past,
'I rant, and I rant, - and my
mouth is in gear, but I'm now
a pathetic outcast.'

I may go to Scotland - but I
refuse to wear a kilt,
But I hear they make "Irn-Bru" -
oh, I'll have a can of Lilt!
I don't much understand their
lingo - jocks, I think they're
called;
'But if I don't do my "comb-over" -
I'll be completely BALD!!!!'

The mad world of the Trump -
is known to everyone,
Even to my glitzy wife - who
loves his money throne!
I will need to get a grip of life,
and be more tolerant.
But every time I open my mouth -
it causes an argument!

My vile style isn't nice - and I
really should now change.
Because spouting all my racism -
I should be shot on a shooting
range.
I now do welcome everyone -
as I drink a tasty Pimms;
'I failed to get the President's
job - courtesy of those MUSLIMS!!!!'

So where do I go from here -
to England, and 10 Downing Street?
Oh, I'll be right at home - all those
Muslims I could meet!
They have a new Prime Minister,
who likes to eat a kebaba;
'May I introduce you to - 'oh,
shucks, - it's ALIBABA!!!!!!'

BY
DARRYL ASHTON


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