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mister joe "mister joe" (Herts)

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Tron Legacy [DVD]
Tron Legacy [DVD]
Dvd ~ Michael Sheen
Offered by MusicnMedia
Price: £3.64

6 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars DDDDDUUUDE....., 10 Jan. 2012
This review is from: Tron Legacy [DVD] (DVD)
When i heard a Tron sequel was being made i wet my pants and cried.Continously for 3 days.Life's depressions we're lifted instantly,i actually smiled a couple of times.I had seen the light.
This is a gigantic monster of a movie.The BEST FILM OF 2011 for a few pertinent reasons....
1.Tron is the coolest movie of all time,thus Tron Legacy is the second coolest movie of all time
2.Legacy is a visual triumph,battering your brain to mush with spectacular set pieces,bikes spinning mid air,the coolest landscape since...well Tron..or Blade Runner.This is a cyber punk Matrix ting.
The design of this movie is purely awe inspiring.
3.Daft Punk provide a BANGING soundtrack.
4.Dude....Jeff Bridges is in it.
5.To the haters....stop moaning.Nothing will ever bring you even a modicum of happiness,let alone satisfaction whether this be free pies or a no strings date with the goddess that is Kelly Brook.I am stereotyping dreadfully here as i assume only males love Tron.
6.The movie rocks like Keith Moon on drums,Hendrix on lead,that short bloke singer from Level 42 on bass,Gary Numan on synths and Freddie Mercury on vocals.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 18, 2012 12:04 AM GMT


Final Destination 5 [DVD] [2011]
Final Destination 5 [DVD] [2011]
Dvd ~ Emma Bell
Offered by Quality Media Supplies Ltd.
Price: £8.79

3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars YOU'VE BEEN FRAMED, 9 Jan. 2012
Blimey Final Destination seems to be the ultimate in a franchise that refuses to die,will not die,cannot die.
The conceit of the movie could go on for 30 or so sequels.I think they should make a tv series as well as a Final Destination theme park where you pay to board rickety,wobbling rollercoasters or big wheels where the cable snaps and you and your cousins are trapped in a freefalling boxcar.How about cups and saucers that spin off track throwing you into a burning bus.I think its a great idea,death simply HAS to be the biggest buzz.
The younger crowd love these movies.This is the only movie i have seen that kept my 15 year old cousin and 18 year old sister in law from not texting,tweeting,twatting,facebooking,goggling on their phones.
I enjoyed it as well watching the fresh faced,square jawed cast alternately step onto screws,get their blue retinas scorched or beautifully impaled.
A Hollywood movie where the majority of the good looking cast are placed in comical peril and life threatening accidents automatically receives 5 stars.Final Destination 5 is a perfect,lobotomised,pop corn munching,brain rot movie.Long may the series run!
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 21, 2012 3:24 PM GMT


John Carpenter's The Thing [DVD] [1982]
John Carpenter's The Thing [DVD] [1982]
Dvd ~ Kurt Russell
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £3.14

12 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars FIRST THING FIRST, 9 Jan. 2012
WOW.Believe it or not i had never seen The Thing until tonight.What an awesome movie.Bleak,gooey,paranoid...fantastic.Something that is truly shocking apart from not having seen it till now is the original critical savaging it recieved on it's original release.Everyone from the New York Times to Roger Egbert mauling the movie.Obviously these critics have revised their kneejerk opinions now but lordy lord...cast iron proof of the inherent idiocy,snobby,irrelevant agendas of critics.
I have even read a quote by John Carpenter saying how the failure of the movie hit him hard,even the director of the 50's Thing was dissing him along with supposed "sci fi" fans.Shocking.This is a perfect piece of genre movie making,also as with the best horror or sci fi movies you can apply metaphor to The Thing whether this be about disease or lack of trust between humans.
One can only assume that in 1982 there was only room for one alien,this being E.T.Sometimes films no matter how good just don't hit the jackpot.It could something as moronic as a title..."what's this thing The Thing?"
Maybe a film sent in the artic with a bunch of beardy men living in close quarters doesn't have that summertime box office appeal.Or as an audience we are totally redundant,ignorant.
Get this The Thing opened at the same time as Blade Runner.....gore blimey talk about double dribble!These two movies ON RELEASE we're treated awfully.Bloomin Spielberg hey!
The special effects in The Thing are truly special,i did wrench a couple of times.Amazing stuff.The work that went into this movie shows,definetly a labour of love.The Thing is awesome and easily settles its slimey bottom in my top five movies of all time.That John Carpenter for even a NANO SECOND thought this was any type of failure is a travesty.As the film has since flourished in the home market and gained considerable status Carpenter hopefully feels what he should always have felt HE WAS RIGHT.Yeah Carpenter made a few stinkies but....HALLOWEEN,ASSAULT ON...,THE FOG,ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK,BIG TROUBLE...GENIUS.Sod Coppola give me Carpenter any day.Guy is a god.
All in all i think you can gather i rather liked The Thing.I am going to say this for the very first time as i can
THEY DON'T MAKE THEM LIKE THEY USED TO.
Comment Comments (6) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 19, 2014 2:19 AM BST


Kill List [DVD]
Kill List [DVD]
Dvd ~ Neil Maskell
Offered by streetsahead
Price: £4.09

9 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BEANS ON TOAST, 5 Jan. 2012
This review is from: Kill List [DVD] (DVD)
To be honest i cannot be bothered with a laboured synopsis,Kill List is about two hit men.It's 90 minutes or so,a Brit flick that DOESN'T star Danny Dyer or set on a council estate,revelling in social realism.The fact Dyer is not in this movie warrants an automatic 5 stars.
I am probably being a tad too generous but i think the director Ben Wheatley is definitely a talent.I have not come across him before but Kill List is wonderfully directed,there is a palpable sense of dread running through the movie and some beautiful shots.I honestly did not know what direction the movie was going to go,which in these times is a nice thing.I like not knowing.
Violence in the movie is portrayed realistically,short,sharp,fraught explosions.Plus the vocation of being a hitman is depicted as abhorrent,shady not the normal stylish career choice for a matchstick in the mouth anti hero.
Some people will say "it's a bit odd innit..." similar to the moronic headstracthing that greets any film or story that doesn't automatically end with a nice bow attached to it.
I find life completely non sensical,bizarre,unpredictable so i enjoy a film that adds a little oblique confusion or surrealism,as far as i am concerned there is not enough of it in the movies.Frankly films about a stuttering king announcing the birth of a war being adored by housewives across the country is far more "odd".Or films about gigantic robots.Kill List is flawed but it has an ambition,it really reminded me of Nic Roeg for some reason.
A cult classic in the making.
Comment Comments (3) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 19, 2012 3:16 AM GMT


Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights [DVD]
Frankie Boyle's Tramadol Nights [DVD]
Dvd ~ Frankie Boyle
Offered by MusicnMedia
Price: £2.82

43 of 47 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars HATE THE WEEK, 1 Jan. 2012
Things are so bad in comedy nowadays i have resorted to becoming a Frankie Boyle fan.Stand up comedy is fast becoming the career choice of the privately educated silver spoon dangling from their mouth middle classes who would've otherwise embarked on a gilded career in finance.
Perpetual guests on woeful panel shows,recycling their 5 year old material on endless Dave repeats these performing chimps from you're Russell Howards to Andy Parsons now play to 10,000 people in various enormo domes round the country.Blimey i remember when Newman And Baddiel playing Wembley Arena was a cultural event.
Even bottom of the barrel Al Murray can do it nowadays.Arena comedy sponspored by Dave.
Richard Pyror and Bill Hicks would be spinning in their graves.
In this soulless context a hateful,spiteful comedian like Frankie Boyle becomes a valid proposition.Almost needed.
When watching Tramadol Nights i WANTED to be offended...blimey anything other then midly amused.
I am tired of hearing routines concerning chicken shops,asking for directions,hoodies.....the retinas of a modern audience have been scorched by images of unlawful wars,riots,corrupt politicians and this wet behind the ears material just simply doesn't cut it.
The laughter at a Frankie Boyle gig is far more uncomfortable,awkward rather then the moronic laughter of the masses at some gig at Wembley where the audience have paid 50 quid to see some auto cued mannequin deliver another harmless insipid,vapid routine.Just laughing to get their moneys worth.
Frankie Boyle is no Lenny Bruce but seems to be the only comedian who doesn't court acceptance or popularity.He seemingly wants to invite derision and outrage.Good on em.I doubt you will be hearing Boyle providing a nice cheeky voice over for investment adverts.Hate Boyle,loathe Boyle,like Boyle...at least hes a comedian that illicits SOMETHING.I found it slighty cathartic to laugh at frankly awful things,otherwise you'd cry.
As a country we get the comedians we deserve,Boyle is one.... who hopefully will continue to gob in our moronic,googled,facebooked slackjawed faces.I hope his new stand up tour this year cranks up the hate fuelled bile.
Comment Comments (8) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Sep 6, 2013 11:37 AM BST


Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Collection [DVD]
Sherlock Holmes: The Complete Collection [DVD]
Dvd ~ Jeremy Brett
Price: £24.00

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars JEREMY BRETT IS FLAWLESS, 1 Jan. 2012
This is a brilliant set at an exceptional price,16 discs and 41 episodes.I am not going to say much except how awesome the late Jeremy Brett was.The gentleman IS SHERLOCK HOLMES.Its one of those pieces of acting that is a pure joy to watch,Brett simply commands the camera with every movement.
I am still watching the set but have pretty much enjoyed every programme,my favourites so far being The Crooked Man and The Copper Beeches.
I love David Burkes performance of Watson as well,it works terrifically against the masterful Holmes.
To be honest i am really starting to tire of most modern tv series with their ironic violence,post modern narratives and profane languge.
ITVs Sherlock Holmes is just pure storytelling coupled with a towering pure performance from Jeremy Brett.Sure,some people may find it a bit hammy or slightly sunday afternoon stuff but personally this suited me to the ground.
Rather then the frankly stupid and unbelievable Dexter which my other half gobbles up.
I don't like Guy Ritchies version,i do not like the new bbc version i like this.
I now fully understand Jeremy Brett's army of admirers.A legend.
Comment Comments (5) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Feb 21, 2012 10:07 PM GMT


Micky Flanagan Live: The Out Out Tour [DVD]
Micky Flanagan Live: The Out Out Tour [DVD]
Dvd ~ Micky Flanagan
Offered by best_value_entertainment
Price: £4.69

12 of 35 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars APPLES AND PEARS, 23 Dec. 2011
Do todays generic,conveyer belt Dave channel endorsed comedians simply have no shame?There you are sat in your reclining armchair watching Live At The Appollo on the giant flatscreen plasma,see a comedian, like his material fork out the money for the dvd only to see recycled routines.A kind of "greatest hits" if you will.
Yeah the chicken shop stuffs funny but after seeing it,hearing it a thousand times spread over different channels i was kind of hoping for you know...a little more variety.
I swear these comedians spend a decade touring,promoting the same parochial humour.I find Mickey and his likeable geezer persona extremely irritating in all its predictable tick the box charm.
Dana o' Brian,Ed Byrne,Russell The Chimp Howard,Andy Egghead i wear y fronts Parsons,Chris Insurance sell out Addison...repugnant.Truly dismal times for stand up.Al Murray fills arenas????
America owns the art form that is stand up comedy.These soulless karaoke machines would get savaged,their humour so petty, insignificant...the humour just would not translate anywhere apart from this debt ridden cesspool of a country.These are just pub comedians.And thats where they belong in amongst dirty carpets,pork stracthings,broken dartboards and toothless barmaids.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Apr 19, 2012 6:16 PM BST


Someone To Watch Over Me
Someone To Watch Over Me
Offered by Squirrelsounds
Price: £1.99

8 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars BOYLE IN THE BAG, 20 Nov. 2011
Ahhh...christmas.Time of goodwill.Well i do not always see that when i am standing in a perpetual queue,cold,surrounded by impatience and frantic materialism.The build up is horrendous.Then you have to spend time with you're loved ones,my family get togethers resemble a Jonathan Franzen novel..stilted conversation,petty hostilities bubbling under the surface of dry turkey and lame paper hats.
Susan Boyle bless her cotton socks certainly makes things a little easier with her new album,providing me with an least 8 gifts of her new album.Susan Boyle simply skims demographics from you're denture wearing cherry sipping nan to you're spoilt,though obviously cute 9 year old niece.Boyle has that ordinary,down to earth appeal but also has an extraordinary voice.It would be easy to dismiss Susan but us snaggle toothed brits should be proud....millions of albums sold,no.1 in america.She has a truly stunning voice.I enjoyed last years The Gift particularly her rendition of Lou Reeds ode to comedowns Perfect Day etheral stuff indeed.
On this album she covers Enjoy The Silence!!!!!And Mad World to name two.She manages to reshape the context of a song through her vocals.How strange that the most radical thing a performer can do nowadays is just SING A SONG.
She is an antidote to all the vapid,silicone brained,papped,tanned conveyer belt images our internet scorched retinas are bombarded with daily.Just a gentle spirit singing nicely.Lovely jubbely.
I never undestood the initial shock at Boyle's brilliant voice,the implication being "wow..an average looking person can sing.."YOU DO NOT HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A CAST MEMBER OF BAYWATCH TO SING.
This album is an ideal stocking filler and will provide the perfect soundtrack to pulling crackers,eating copious amounts of cocktail sausages and throwing wine over you're obnoxious uncle.MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Comment Comments (6) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 25, 2011 8:14 AM GMT


Lulu
Lulu
Offered by Great Price Media EU
Price: £4.75

13 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars MACHINE METAL MUSIC, 13 Nov. 2011
Verified Purchase(What is this?)
This review is from: Lulu (Audio CD)
Good old Lou Reed,you have to love the man!In an interview recently he chuckled as he told about the death threats he has been recieving from the Metallica hardcore also adding how he has no fans left and the fact he doesn't care one iota about what anyone thinks.He also stated that Lulu is his greatest work,possibly the greatest album...ever.Love it.The man is one grumpy old legend he has bought the world THE GREATEST,COOLEST BAND EVER in the Velvet Underground,possibly the GREATEST ALBUM EVER in Berlin,not to mention Transformer,Metal Machine Music,Magic And Loss.Lou could fart in a cup,it,s art.My respect for Metallica has shot up IMMENSELY for recording this sprawling,pretentious free form car crash of an album.Tuneless,horrible,awful vocals,hideous pretension.Love it.
Will i listen to it every Friday?Probably not.But it's there like a bad smell in the room.
Previously the only thing i knew about Metallica was what a total idiot Lars Ulrich seemed when he committed rock credibility suicide when he waged his war against Napster.I still remember him saying "I want fans to pay for our music.."at a point when the band had sold what..85 million albums?I loved that documentary though Some Kind Of Monster.I think the Metallica crew should applaud them to be honest for making such a divisive album.In a way it's tempting me to maybe look at Metallica's body of work.
Lulu is in many ways a statement it either is a tuneless piece of garbage or a searing,poetic piece of art.Certainly the album is a struggle to listen to from the barbaric heavy improvisations to Reeds flat awful vocals to the narrative based on some persecuted chick.I love it for it's sheer obliqueness and insolence.Definetly a cult in the making,an album that will be judged in a few years time.And even if it does end up in the cultural bin i will hold it to my wheezing bosom.Apparently Reed is dying to make Lulu 2.Gotta love it.
Comment Comments (6) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 15, 2011 11:22 PM GMT


Antichrist [DVD]
Antichrist [DVD]
Dvd ~ Willem Dafoe
Offered by A ENTERTAINMENT
Price: £6.41

7 of 10 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars TIME OF THE MONTH, 31 Oct. 2011
This review is from: Antichrist [DVD] (DVD)
Depressing.Vulgar.Harrowing.Detestable.Beautifully shot.Naked raw performances.Daily Mail outraged.I guess we are in everybodys favourite iconoclast Lars Von Triers backyard.I have yet to see a body of work by any other director that is so confounding or challenging.Veering brilliantly between genius and prankster.
Lars Von Trier has to be one of my favourite personalities in the film world....i mean can we even trust him?His antics perpetually getting him into hotwater,the most recent his "i am a bit of a nazi" comment opening up missiles of predictable scorn.I saw an interview with Triers by the smug,bequiffed grease ball Mark weasleeyed Kermode where he explained the context of that comment which made a sort of logic.I loved The Idiots and Breaking The Waves,admired Dogville.Anti Christ i cannot make my mind up.It is either a truly rubbish film or brave statement.Depends on what day of the week you ask me.I will commend Willem Dafoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg for their risk taking performances as a couple dealing with the grief of losing a child who relocate to a cabin in the woods to deal with anxiety and depression.I really respect Von Triers for his honest potrayal of the debilitating effects of anxiety and depression.I sensed a palpable anti therapy attitude within the film.I have suffered numerous breakdowns and struggled with horrendous episodes of anxiety.What is captured in the first half of Antichrist is a concise depiction as is the hideous emotional massacre that is grief.The film can surely be commended for this.
But as the film progresses it becomes a little shall we say abstract,grossly violent and surreal.The talking fox was one of the most discussed parts of the film.For all we know Von Triers probably chucked it in there for a laugh.
Because he wanted to.Because he can.The depiction of women has always been a moot point for critics,in my mind Von Triers is probably the best director in depicting female characters in all their complexitys,giving actresses roles that say and demand a LOT.Personally the films of Micheal Bay are infinetly more offensive in their representations of women.Antichrist is a film for fans and people that like to be challenged by the medium of film.
It is in NO way a film to open a bag of butterkist too.You show this to some people they will be predictably sickened or most likely bored.No explosions,no nice narrative arcs,no Megan Foxes,no sun bleached skies.
This is a film that asks more questions then providing answers.Lars Von Triers a frustrating,important director whose place in the pantheon of autuers is assured,whose films will be discussed,panned, for years to come.


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