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Profile for Mr. H. E. Bennett > Reviews

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Content by Mr. H. E. Bennett
Top Reviewer Ranking: 95,365
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Reviews Written by
Mr. H. E. Bennett "howardbennett5" (Windsor)

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Smart Dot Security Marking System
Smart Dot Security Marking System

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great service, 22 Feb. 2015
This review is from: Smart Dot Security Marking System
Great service. Within hours of ordering, the pictured gentleman turned up on my doorstep sounding quite angry. I presume he had had trouble parking in my street, which to be honest, annoys me at the best of times - and he did have quite a big van, although it wasn't the greatest representation of the company he works for as it was quite old and rusty. He asked me where my valuables were so I helped to round them up for him and left them in a big pile in the living room. He seemed quite pleased with this, so I assume he is someone who clearly enjoys the work he does. He seemed very thorough as he asked me if I had any jewellery and money in the house, but to be honest I didn't think there was much need in getting things like that security marked in such a way. It was quite late in the evening so he insisted in taking my pile of items away, so I helped him into the van with my television, laptop, microwave, mini hifi, Nintendo Wii, and countless other items that are both valuable and dear to me. It has now been over a week and I haven't heard anything back yet, but to be fair there were a lot of items and I presume marking them is quite time intensive. He may also still have trouble parking, and when he does return I am hopeful he will sign my petition to the council to investigate the lack of on-road parking in my street and the adjacent area. The only thing I have received in the meantime is a box of little things, a brush, some stickers and key fob which was a nice gift but frankly I do not know what use they are to me.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Dec 13, 2015 10:39 PM GMT

Sharp end cats bum pencil Sharpener - Black
Sharp end cats bum pencil Sharpener - Black
Offered by Hamdis
Price: £7.95

5.0 out of 5 stars Don't knock it until you try it!, 13 Feb. 2015
If you like shoving objects up animal's backsides this could be just the item for you. "Don't knock it until you try it", I was assured. I have to be honest I was quite apprehensive about inserting a blunted pencil into the rear end of a cat, and the first time it happened the shriek uttered by the cat was quite offputting. Repeated use turns this into a contented purr however, and despite the fact I can't remember the last time I used a pencil I have hundreds on standby for the next time I do.

No Title Available

9 of 19 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Good but doesn't do what it claims, 14 April 2011
I bought a box of 10 of these items from my local Tesco Express - as a busy commuter I was quite impressed by the claim that it "gets to work in five minutes" as it normally takes me 35 to 40 minutes, and even then I can't always find a parking space.

The powder in these sachets did make me feel markedly better and ease my sniffles but it made no difference in my journey times. If anything it now takes even longer.

Perhaps it is intended for those who live closer to their place of employment, but the instructions made no mention of this.
Comment Comments (7) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 30, 2015 5:30 PM GMT

Smiths Savoury Selection Scampi & Lemon Flavour Fries, Cereal Snacks 27 g (Pack of 24)
Smiths Savoury Selection Scampi & Lemon Flavour Fries, Cereal Snacks 27 g (Pack of 24)
Price: £11.42

5 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Found - the Holy Grail, 31 Jan. 2011
Firstly, I should announce how delighted I was to discover that my favourite on-line store beginning with 'Ama' sold these wonderful products of yesteryear.

According to the Observer's Book of Crisps (9th edition, 1998) we were 'unlikely to ever encounter a packet ever again, unless it was at back of an elderly person's cupboard' - yet now we can buy them in bulk over the miracle that is the internet.

For those not familiar with such items, these fishy beauties are delightful to eat with their lemony tang, yet disgusting to be in the same room as. It's as if you are sharing the room with a permanently yawning cat, so eat out of doors if possible.

As such, I can only recommend to singletons or for those wishing to ditch their partner. The threat of 24 packets will soon have them scuttling back to mother.
Comment Comments (2) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 4, 2011 9:39 PM BST

No Title Available

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Disappointing, 29 Jan. 2011
I have to admit I was utterly fooled by the name of this item, and it was not what I had expected. I should have guessed by the fact that the crab meat in the picture isn't blue either before or after cooking that something was wrong.

I had invited some friends from Indonesia over for a meal and hoped to serve them a mashed-potato island set in a thin gravy 'sea'. The finishing touch would have been some blue crab meat swimming around the island but none of it made any effort to swim whatsoever, despite goading with a wooden spoon.

I felt a little let-down by the description but in its defence it was very tasty indeed. It isn't that cheap but you do get a lot for your money, but please if you are not sure what you are getting check with the seller. Thankfully it didn't spoil my social event but you may not be so lucky.

Mars Bar, 51 g (Pack of 48)
Mars Bar, 51 g (Pack of 48)
Offered by The Sweet Pot
Price: £23.19

13 of 17 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars They are definitely getting smaller, 29 Jan. 2011
At least that is what my doctor told me. However, back to that old favourite Mars Bar. Named after its inventor, Mr Bar, these have been around for some 80 years. No, I don't mean the ones you'll buy from here as that would make them a little past their sell-by date.

Mars Bars are lovely when cool, yet horrible when hot. Eat one that has been left on a car seat on a hot day and you'll know what I mean. Have cool ones and they'll be a snacktime favourite. Hot stringy caramel is a no-no in my book - mainly because the pages get stuck together.

If you have not tried them before I would recommend buying used or renting first, just in case.
Comment Comments (4) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Nov 8, 2013 8:51 PM GMT

Wotsits Cheese 18 g (Pack of 48)
Wotsits Cheese 18 g (Pack of 48)
Offered by Cooking Marvellous
Price: £25.99

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Crunchy orange worms and none the worse for it, 19 Jan. 2011
I love Wotsits. I used to eat them by the ton and I am so glad Amazon have seen sense in selling them on the internet.

I am led to believe that Dale Winton grew up exclusively on Wotsits. Bright orange and cheesey, you'd never leave them around your kids by choice. However, back to the snacks, they are amazingly moorish and it is easy to devour 15 packets without realising what you have done, with only a cheesey odour and the guilty orange-tinged fingers to show for it.

They come heartily recommended by myself for cheesy puff addicts and those who run out of packing materials that whiff of cheddar.

Salt and Shake 30 g (Pack of 48)
Salt and Shake 30 g (Pack of 48)
Offered by totallygroceries
Price: £26.90

19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars To salt or not to salt?, 19 Jan. 2011
I bought a box of these fine crisps as I had not seen them to buy anywhere for many years. Smiths used to sell loads like this, such as Spit or Swallow, Sooty and Sweep, Mouth and Macneal, and Hartley Hare flavour. Personally I hope they do a "variety box" of all the old ones, as I would certainly buy one if they did.

The beauty of these crisps is that somedays you don't fancy salt. Some days you want LOADS of it. There is also a random element of seeing how many bags, if any, are contained in your bag of crisps. Sometimes they are so well hidden you give up only to find it three quarters of the way in, by which time adding them to the crisps will make them uneatable unless you are on a Japanese game show.

I'd give them five stars without salt, four with all of the packet on, and two if you spend a lot of time on Japanese television.
Comment Comments (20) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jul 7, 2011 3:44 PM BST


5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Particularly violent, 22 Dec. 2010
If your idea of a fun Christmas is to hospitalise members of your family, or be involved in lengthy compensation claims, then you need to buy one of these.

Not only is the mechanism of this joke incredibly powerful, but the humiliation of losing some teeth to the sound of an ear-splittingly loud klaxon sound has rendered it as an item only to be used out of spite.

The needle-sharp spike that represents the nose was not a well-chosen feature as far as safety was concerned, and I would think twice before recommending this to anyone under the age of 5. Even if they were not allergic to nuts.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Oct 27, 2012 2:17 PM BST

Fortune Teller Fish
Fortune Teller Fish
Offered by GiftLocalUK
Price: £0.74

27 of 35 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Unsatisfactory, 22 Dec. 2010
This review is from: Fortune Teller Fish (Toy)
Not the best investment I have ever made. This fish has not proven to be the most reliable predictor of the future, and after losing heavily for the best part of a year on Bet365 (to the tune of several thousand pounds) I can only assume that I am not using it correctly or that its opinions are somewhat flawed.

It also predicted that I would marry a man with a beard and have twins, although I find this too to be frankly quite unlikely.

One thing that you can safely predict is that you will be better off without this fishes predictions and it is best to invest your future in something else, for example one of Russell Grants books.
Comment Comment (1) | Permalink | Most recent comment: Jan 29, 2012 6:23 PM GMT

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