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Kerry Patterson
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Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition (BUSINESS BOOKS) Paperback – 16 Oct. 2011

by Kerry Patterson (Author), Joseph Grenny (Author), Ron McMillan (Author),
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 11,736 ratings
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Promotion Message Buy 2, save 10% 1 promotion
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The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate

“[Crucial Conversations] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our relationships, and our world. . . . This book deserves to take its place as one of the key thought leadership contributions of our time.”
―from the Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

“The quality of your life comes out of the quality of your dialogues and conversations. Here’s how to instantly uplift your crucial conversations.”
―Mark Victor Hansen, cocreator of the #1 New York Times bestselling series Chicken Soup for the Soul®

The first edition of Crucial Conversations exploded onto the scene and revolutionized the way millions of people communicate when stakes are high. This new edition gives you the tools to:

  • Prepare for high-stakes situations
  • Transform anger and hurt feelings into powerful dialogue
  • Make it safe to talk about almost anything
  • Be persuasive, not abrasive
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  1. ISBN-10
    0071771328
  2. ISBN-13
    978-0071771320
  3. Edition
    2nd
  4. Publisher
    McGraw Hill
  5. Publication date
    16 Oct. 2011
  6. Language
    English
  7. Dimensions
    15.24 x 1.52 x 22.61 cm
  8. Print length
    272 pages
  9. See all details
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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
11,736 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book practical and helpful in creating a method. They say the core content and examples are worth the effort. Readers describe the book as an easy read that is easy to understand and digest. However, some feel the content is not much, repetitive, and boring.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

Select to learn more
AdviceEase of readingDialogue qualityContent quality
27 customers mention ‘Advice’27 positive0 negative

Customers find the advice in the book helpful, great, and worth the effort. They say the core content and examples are worth the effort. Readers also mention the book helps them master themselves and produce the best. They appreciate the insights and practical case studies to illustrate and demonstrate the advice.

"Very good in development of assertive skills" Read more

"...It would have changed so much.It will teach you how to interact with people when it matters most...." Read more

"Great book some fantastic points and techniques, although I do feel that it could be a lot shorter...." Read more

"Definitely recommend the book and they have some great materials online too...." Read more

7 customers mention ‘Ease of reading’7 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read, understand, and digest. They also say the illustrations make the points very clear.

"...In any case is an easy read so definitely worth buying" Read more

"...It's also pretty easy to digest!" Read more

"...Easy to interpret through the examples discussed" Read more

"...clear manner, using examples to illustrate points makes it very easy to understand and put into practice." Read more

4 customers mention ‘Dialogue quality’4 positive0 negative

Customers find the dialogue in the book to be high quality. They say it's conducive for dialogue and what they learn transfers to personal encounters and relationships.

"...yourself and also producing the best circumstances and most conducive atmosphere for dialogue. Can't recommend it highly enough." Read more

"...What you learn also transfers to personal encounters and relationships." Read more

"Great book with substantial tips and techniques. Especially enjoyed the practical conversations...." Read more

"Everybody should read this book -- great for personal and professional conversations." Read more

4 customers mention ‘Content quality’0 positive4 negative

Customers find the content dry and boring. They say it's a complete time-waste.

"...This is a core book they encourage everyone to read, content is dry but some very good points made worth a read." Read more

"This book is a complete time waster...." Read more

"A lot of repititions and gets very boring quickly." Read more

"...of results of studies and examples of what they were about but not much content...." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

RUNGANOS
5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 March 2024
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Very good in development of assertive skills
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randy
5.0 out of 5 stars Life changing. Buy it.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 March 2018
Verified Purchase
Life changing. Buy it.

I have ready few books that have truly changed the way I interact with the world. This is one of them. I read this book in the mists of a messy divorce and it really helped to clear things up. It showed me that I was going about conversations in completely the wrong way. I wish I had found this sooner in my life. It would have changed so much.

It will teach you how to interact with people when it matters most. Whether its partners, children, parents, manager, boss, strangers or friends you are most likely messing up your conversions and not even noticing it.

I can not recommend this book enough. I recommend it to everyone who asks me about books or if I think it can help them.
Its also available on audiable. I have both. However you get it, get it.

This book is paired amazingly with Chimp paradox. These 2 book are my killer combo recommendation.
Once you have finished it, take some time to reflect deeply. You'll be surprised what you discover with your new knowledge.
36 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
4.0 out of 5 stars Worth a read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 June 2018
Verified Purchase
Great book some fantastic points and techniques, although I do feel that it could be a lot shorter. In any case is an easy read so definitely worth buying
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Chris
5.0 out of 5 stars Keep going!
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 June 2013
Verified Purchase
This book was given to me by a friend, which is why I read it. I'll be honest, some of the self-help language (pools or meaning etc) and American self-help style was a little off-putting at first. I reached a point after about page three, where I realised I could just roll my eyes the whole time, or actually allow the book to teach me a thing or two. I'm so glad I persevered as I have learnt a lot and fear I will probably have to re-read this book several times in the course of my life for some of that wisdom to actually stick.
I felt particularly outed by some of the power-games mentioned that I often turn to in arguments, and am working on avoiding these in future conversations.
So, whether you tend to flight or fight when it comes to handling interactions that really matter, this is a great book to add to your tool kit.
4 people found this helpful
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Robert N
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books you can get
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 13 October 2020
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Definitely recommend the book and they have some great materials online too. Take your time to go through it, really valuable if you find yourself struggling to have some difficult conversations with people in your life or in work.
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Beth
3.0 out of 5 stars Where are the online resources?
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 May 2020
Verified Purchase
Part way through the book but I can’t find the free resources. The book gives a link to the website but not to the video they want you to watch. Why can’t they just give a link to a specific resource? It’s infuriating.
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Kevin Colyer
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book - practical and immensely helpful
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 September 2014
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Quite frankly the most practical and helpful book I have read in ages. I found the principles to be spot on and it really works. I have always wanted to sharpen my people skills in the area of confrontation and this book really will help you with mastering yourself and also producing the best circumstances and most conducive atmosphere for dialogue. Can't recommend it highly enough.
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Alexander
5.0 out of 5 stars This book is indispensable
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 May 2019
Verified Purchase
The book has had a profound effect on how I approach negotiation both at work and in personal life. In our world cheap advice is abundant and too many are looking for a bag of tricks to make others do what they want. This book is very different: it starts with explaining how negotiations work in principle and why having a fixed goal is detrimental to the success.
5 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Skylar
5.0 out of 5 stars Recommended to almost anyone!
Reviewed in Canada on 22 November 2020
Verified Purchase
This is an incredibly helpful book. It deals particularly with how to handle emotionally charged conversations, where one or both of you is upset or angry or doesn't want to speak up. As I was reading this, I could only think of one person in my life that I know who actually does all of these things in conversation, and maybe one other person who's decent...meaning I really think the majority of people would benefit from reading this book, even if you don't think you're especially bad at dialogue. I bought this book because I was struggling to phrase things well when I was offering criticism -- it came off too attackingly -- and this has given me so much to think about and so much helpful advice. I think this would be especially helpful to parents and couples. Most of the examples are aimed at people in their 30s-50s, but it really seems like the sooner the better for reading it. The main message of the book was of how to be both honest and respectful -- to not avoid conversations you need to have until they're super big, to be respectful and listen but also to say what needs to be said in a way that the other person can hear without becoming defensive, and these are lessons that will help you with any relationship, including roommates, acquaintances, siblings, etc.

There are also links in this book to videos of example conversations -- I'm on to check those out next, as my response to finishing the book was sadness that there wasn't more! I think my dialogue skills have already improved in only a couple weeks of reading the book, and I will reread this going forward to help me as struggles arise.

Highly recommended.
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Skylar
5.0 out of 5 stars Recommended to almost anyone!
Reviewed in Canada on 22 November 2020
This is an incredibly helpful book. It deals particularly with how to handle emotionally charged conversations, where one or both of you is upset or angry or doesn't want to speak up. As I was reading this, I could only think of one person in my life that I know who actually does all of these things in conversation, and maybe one other person who's decent...meaning I really think the majority of people would benefit from reading this book, even if you don't think you're especially bad at dialogue. I bought this book because I was struggling to phrase things well when I was offering criticism -- it came off too attackingly -- and this has given me so much to think about and so much helpful advice. I think this would be especially helpful to parents and couples. Most of the examples are aimed at people in their 30s-50s, but it really seems like the sooner the better for reading it. The main message of the book was of how to be both honest and respectful -- to not avoid conversations you need to have until they're super big, to be respectful and listen but also to say what needs to be said in a way that the other person can hear without becoming defensive, and these are lessons that will help you with any relationship, including roommates, acquaintances, siblings, etc.

There are also links in this book to videos of example conversations -- I'm on to check those out next, as my response to finishing the book was sadness that there wasn't more! I think my dialogue skills have already improved in only a couple weeks of reading the book, and I will reread this going forward to help me as struggles arise.

Highly recommended.
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Davide Benedet
5.0 out of 5 stars recommended to everybody
Reviewed in Italy on 28 March 2022
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This book is just amazing.
It examines many situations of conversations which could be critical to our life and to out wellbeing.
It gives practical tools and analysis about how to carry on a conversation.
Highly recommended!
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Prashant
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely the best book on communication
Reviewed in India on 19 March 2021
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I don’t usually write reviews, but this book is gold for anyone looking to communicate better in their professional or personal life. Every chapter is dense but at the same time accessible in language. Every other line can be highlighted and be used in real life situations. If you lack in some areas of communication and desire to fix the same, you must read Crucial Conversations.
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Prashant
5.0 out of 5 stars Absolutely the best book on communication
Reviewed in India on 19 March 2021
I don’t usually write reviews, but this book is gold for anyone looking to communicate better in their professional or personal life. Every chapter is dense but at the same time accessible in language. Every other line can be highlighted and be used in real life situations. If you lack in some areas of communication and desire to fix the same, you must read Crucial Conversations.
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Johel
5.0 out of 5 stars Most practical book on dialogue and negotiation
Reviewed in Brazil on 8 December 2019
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I see this book as even more practical than Never Split the Difference and Start With No, because it creates the conditions for me to approach people in a more relaxed way and send the message that I want without the fear of the other person exploding at me or I exploding at her.

The reading is not very enjoyable, but It has a very good methodology and good stories that makes it worth reading and finishing it.

Congratulations for the simple, but very important book.
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BuyeRM
5.0 out of 5 stars This book helped me.
Reviewed in the United States on 19 July 2018
Verified Purchase
I ordered this book because it seemed useful and I could see one of my friends behaving differently. I bought this in mind that a big storm was coming. I have made mistakes during emotionally charged conversations/arguments before and didn't want to go down the same path again. Not too soon after I purchased it, that friend brought the storm.

I took my time to read this and skim over it again before I entered the conversation because I didn't want to go in feeling attacked, defensive, or angry. I wanted to know how I could handle things. I didn't want to talk and head into a storm in the first place, but reading this book helped me feel less apprehensive about talking. I didn't want to go in ready to fight, I took my time talking on my own terms because I didn't want to lose my friend while feeling hot-headed. I explained my intentions on why I took long to not give off the impression that I didn't care.

The book took me about 6 hours to read but I didn't really count. I flagged many pages to the point when I almost ran out of flags. There were very few parts I skipped towards the end (of examples/possible scenarios that I didn't think related to me), but most of the book seemed very relevant. The many examples helped. I think as a reader it helps to take written/typed notes of your own as you go, but I did not take much (I will though).

When I felt I was ready to talk, I went in. I tried utilizing what I remembered. I did look at the smaller details to address them and tried not playing "trivia pursuit" on things that that were brought up. I got more of my friend's perspective. After we talked about our concerns, we found our misunderstandings and similarities regarding situations, as well as our viewpoints on both. I also brought up some possible agreements on how to avoid disrespecting each other in the future and if we did, the topic is left open so we can revisit our misunderstandings or perspectives again without making an ultimatum and to communicate more healthily if we think something is off between us. I didn't want to just get things off our chest, I wanted to make it easier for us to communicate in a similar manner (finding solutions) in the future. I wouldn't have gotten to this point if it weren't for this book. I honestly was prepared to lose a friend and in that scenario, none of us wins because we learned nothing about ourselves and others, we only saw our own viewpoints. By the end of our conversation, my friend seemed satisfied. We both have our similarities, though we handled things differently, this book played a part in bringing things up to light and how to go about it.

There are other things I am going to work on tackling, such as things in the workplace and not in my personal life and hope it turns out okay for everyone too.

I only read this once and skimmed it once after that, yet it helped me get this far. I really recommend this book to anyone who wants to get better at such conversations and arguments. It's worth rereading, not a read-once-and-drop-it kind of book.
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