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I know its morbid

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Showing 1-25 of 65 posts in this discussion
Initial post: 23 Feb 2012 18:06:02 GMT
Withnail says:
We all have to die at some stage - but I am hoping for another 40 years!

I want to make sure my funeral is just right - does anybody have an improvement on this?

Enter to Rainbirds byTom Waits -

Followed by

Psalm 84

How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord Almighty!
My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord;
my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God.

Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself,
where she may have her young- a place near your altar,
O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.
Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.

The day though gavest Lord is ended -

Reading 1

Richard Dawkins quote -
After sleeping through a hundred million centuries we have finally opened our eyes on a sumptuous planet, sparkling with colour, bountiful with life. Within decades we must close our eyes again. Isn't it a noble, an enlightened way of spending our brief time in the sun, to work at understanding the universe and how we have come to wake up in it? This is how I answer when I am asked -- as I am surprisingly often -- why I bother to get up in the mornings. To put it the other way round, isn't it sad to go to your grave without ever wondering why you were born? Who, with such a thought, would not spring from bed, eager to resume discovering the world and rejoicing to be a part of it?

Reading 2

WB Yeats

An Irish Airman Forsees His Death

I know that I shall meet my fate
Somewhere among the clouds above;
Those that I fight I do not hate,
Those that I guard I do not love;
My country is Kiltartan Cross,
My countrymen Kiltartan's poor,
No likely end could bring them loss
Or leave them happier than before.
Nor law, nor duty bade me fight,
Nor public men, nor cheering crowds,
A lonely impulse of delight
Drove to this tumult in the clouds;
I balanced all, brought all to mind,
The years to come seemed waste of breath,
A waste of breath the years behind
In balance with this life, this death.

Recessional -

Van Morrison - Madame George

What would you have for yours?

Posted on 23 Feb 2012 18:26:11 GMT
I'd have them play 'Kite', by U2.

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Feb 2012 19:02:45 GMT
Withnail says:
good call

Posted on 23 Feb 2012 19:12:15 GMT
ashes scattered at a music festival.

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Feb 2012 19:15:08 GMT
Withnail says:
But who is playing in the background - you don't want Blink 182 playing in the background while your ashes are being scattered...

Posted on 23 Feb 2012 19:24:48 GMT
it would be the Glade music festival which is pretty much all electronic DJ based and i would go for the outside psytrance area and get my ashes scattered on the ground in the middle of the dance floor so everyone could have a dance on me!

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Feb 2012 19:33:39 GMT
Withnail says:
Just make sure people don't wear their good shoes.

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Feb 2012 19:59:35 GMT
Drew Jones says:
Enter to: Untitled III by Sigur Ros ( or Starlings by Elbow (

For the reading I'd have this taken from Carl Sagan's Pale Blue Dot:
Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar", every "supreme leader", every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
The Earth is a very small stage in a vast cosmic arena. Think of the rivers of blood spilled by all those generals and emperors so that, in glory and triumph, they could become the momentary masters of a fraction of a dot. Think of the endless cruelties visited by the inhabitants of one corner of this pixel on the scarcely distinguishable inhabitants of some other corner, how frequent their misunderstandings, how eager they are to kill one another, how fervent their hatreds.
Our posturings, our imagined self-importance, the delusion that we have some privileged position in the Universe, are challenged by this point of pale light. Our planet is a lonely speck in the great enveloping cosmic dark. In our obscurity, in all this vastness, there is no hint that help will come from elsewhere to save us from ourselves.
The Earth is the only world known so far to harbor life. There is nowhere else, at least in the near future, to which our species could migrate. Visit, yes. Settle, not yet. Like it or not, for the moment the Earth is where we make our stand.
It has been said that astronomy is a humbling and character-building experience.... To me, it underscores our responsibility to deal more kindly with one another, and to preserve and cherish the pale blue dot, the only home we've ever known.

Recessional: Do you realise??? by The Flaming Lips (

In reply to an earlier post on 23 Feb 2012 20:26:00 GMT
Last edited by the author on 24 Feb 2012 14:42:40 GMT
good shoes don't come into it. trainers or bare foot. quite like the idea of being ground into the dance floor which is just earth so hopefully a bit of me will stay there for a while. i also like the Tibetan idea of being left out for the birds but how expensive and difficult is that going to be unless you can plan ahead to die there! cremation does seem like a waste of a perfectly good piece of meat!

Posted on 24 Feb 2012 12:51:49 GMT
Spin says:
"When I die, bury me deep,
Place two loudspeakers at my feet,
Wrap some headphones around my head,
And Rock 'N' Roll me, when I'm dead!" (Anon)

Posted on 24 Feb 2012 20:04:55 GMT
A quote that springs to mind of my current situation:

"You'll still be working the same menial job 10 years after you died" lol

But a poem I quite like is from the Cree people...

Only after the last tree has been cut down,
Only after the last river has been poisoned,
Only after the last fish has been caught,
Only then will you realize that money cannot be eaten.

Let us pray.

Spirits of the four directions, East, South, West, and North,
Powers of the Elements, Air, Fire, Water, and Earth,
Wheel of the seasons, Spring, Summer, Fall, and Winter,
Be here now, as we invoke this sacred space,
And for a moment in time, free ourselves from all limitations,
From all delusions of separateness.
Be here now, and help us, to draw our spirits down
From the lonely flights of the ego, into our bodies,
And let us be filled with the joy of your limitless light,
Beyond the bounds of time,
Where night and day,
Birth and death,
Joy and sorrow,
Meet as one.

I'm sure there are cheerier things to have read, it should be a celebration of your life rather than a mourning of your passing, but it's been so long since I looked at any poetry that the only things I can remember enjoying are the maudlin ones lol
Music I'd have some J-Core because I loooove it (and because everyone else I know hates it mwahaha ;))

And for funeral arrangements, I don't want a proper funeral with coffin and all that jazz; I like the idea of being cremated and having your ashes mixed into concrete blocks that are then put in the ocean so coral starts to grow. I'm also like the being buried in a field in a cardboard box which decomposes and both decompose putting goodness into the ground.
And if the above too are far too costly, then I'll donate myself to medical research, be it carved up on a slab or used for forensic investigation practice so people can see what you look like after so long in certain conditions etc

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Feb 2012 20:40:18 GMT
Archibald F says:
Well I have not really put too much thought to mine, and as an aunt told her daughter recently before she died - do whatever - I won't be there.

They ended her funeral with Spike Milligan's 'Ying Tong' which was not great, but not as bad as the one I went to before that where there was lots of crying as the last song piped up - 'Always Look on the Bright Side' - it really just came across as insensitive and inappropriate for the people grieving - so I would definitely recommend against ending on that.

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Feb 2012 20:48:40 GMT
Last edited by the author on 25 Feb 2012 12:08:17 GMT
gille liath says:
That's handy - don't need to come now, do we?

I guess most people have had thoughts on the subject - I'm not going to share mine on here. It's easy to get carried away; funerals, after all, are really for the people who attend them. The people still breathing, that is. They shouldn't be treated as a captive audience.

Looking at Richard's suggestions for example: I absolutely loathe that kind of music. If I was a friend of his, and he put me through a funeral like that, I'd bloody well kill him.

The main thing for me is that, afterwards, everyone should get royally p*ssed and sing Will Ye Go, Lassie, Go?

In reply to an earlier post on 24 Feb 2012 22:05:38 GMT
Withnail says:

Posted on 25 Feb 2012 01:59:41 GMT
I've always quite fancied "Fine Day" by none other than Rolf Harris to raise the atmos. at my funeral!

Followed by Monty Pythons "Philosophers Drinking Song" which is dear to my heart

And as the card board box descends towards the incinerator, "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park" by Tom Lehrer

has a happy little melody to it. I shall be quite sad I wont get to sing along to those three myself!


In reply to an earlier post on 25 Feb 2012 10:37:04 GMT
Pipkin says:
I loved your poem, and the prayer. You have a soul after all girl :)
My Dad and Brother donated to science...... I like the cardboard box idea, but feel I would be too toxic, so I'll opt for the cremation.
No flowers. Hopefully just joy in the memory of my life, and what I tried hard to achieve....... Peace, harmony, love and contentment.

Posted on 25 Feb 2012 13:59:18 GMT
M E Phelan wrote "My Dad and Brother donated to science"

About 20 years ago, one of the old guys that had been a life long regular in the pub I used to go to passed away and had willed his body to science. The University Hospital in the town refused to take it because of the disease and age of him. His family were totally devastated, feeling that their father / grandfather wasn't welcome, even in death. I don't know why the hospital couldn't have taken the body and disposed of it themselves if it wasn't of use to them? It really made the relatives ordeal that bit worse.


In reply to an earlier post on 25 Feb 2012 21:34:09 GMT
Pipkin says:
Hello MJB,
This must have been awful for the family. When you donate there is a form to fill in, which states that they will not take cancer patients, and others which I can't remember just now. Perhaps it would be wise, for people considering this, to make the families aware of this clause which would then prepared them? I know my Brother has. I don't know if my Dad (Step Father) told Mum: he had a stroke.

In reply to an earlier post on 25 Feb 2012 21:56:43 GMT
M. E. Phelan.

Thank you for your post and sorry to hear about your Dad (Step dad). It may well be that the friend I mentioned from my old local pub did have cancer. I'm sure the hospital have the means to dispose of unwanted bodies and that could have spared the family a lot of anguish at such a difficult time.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 04:47:54 GMT
Spin says:
MJ: A hospital canot dispose of a body without the knowledge and permission of the family. I do not think lying to relatives is very ethical and, further, a hospital is not a crematorium. Disposing of bodies one cannot use, without informing the family, is a rather callous and chilling way of doing business, is it not? Further, I have no doubt that if this were allowed, many unscrupolous persons would leave their body to science simply to avoid funeral costs and get a a free cremation. I think that if one donates ones body to science, one should be examined before death so that both one and ones family know exactly what the situation is and whether the donation can be accepted or not. I have donated my body to science and it would please me to know, before I died, if any parts could be be accepted. I would feel less distressed about my own death knowing that a life was saved by it. If I am told that I am a rusty, old banger fit only for a tin of fish-food, then I may feel disappointed, but its the thought that counts, right? And at least an examination before death puts the minds of the family at rest, does it not?

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 08:20:15 GMT
Withnail says:

There is also a helpful FAQ section.

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 13:18:06 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: When I 'm dead, I will have no awareness or care as to how my body is disposed of. No matter my opinion now, by what I believe, understand or accept, when I go, I am gone. Do as you wish with my body. My "last wishes" have nothing to do with my corpse but with how much living people love and respect me; therefore the problem lies with them, not I. While they argue the point , what was once "me" shall be hatching from an egg under the feet of an Antartic penguin....=)

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 13:51:43 GMT
Withnail says:
You hope you will come back as a penguin. If reincarnation existed I think it would be more likely that you or I would return as a bacteria on the side of a toilet bowl, or as a drone bee working all day long and denied sex (actually that sounds a little to familiar to my present life).

In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 13:52:21 GMT

I agree with what you say about some people deciding to avoid funeral costs by leaving their body to science even when they know that it is not suitable.

I also take your point about the ethics of disposing of a body without informing the family. On the other hand, I saw the amount of distress that returning a body to the family concerned caused. They were left feeling he was not wanted, even in death. I also totally agree that these things should ideally be sorted out before the event and not left to a grieving family.

However, there is also room for compassion in this debate. Doctors, after all, do tell lies to their patients when they feel it is to that patients benefit. I've seen this happen first hand.


In reply to an earlier post on 26 Feb 2012 14:55:24 GMT
Spin says:
Withnail: Indeed. Knowing my luck, I will probably come back as a sore on the tip of Berlusconi's foreskin... And get sued for it...=)
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Discussion in:  religion discussion forum
Participants:  14
Total posts:  65
Initial post:  23 Feb 2012
Latest post:  28 Feb 2012

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