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Step-parent's Survival Guide: Positive Advice for Achieving a Successful Step-family Paperback – 21 May 1998

5.0 out of 5 stars 2 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 160 pages
  • Publisher: Cassell Illustrated (21 May 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 070637732X
  • ISBN-13: 978-0706377323
  • Product Dimensions: 1.3 x 14 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (2 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,409,984 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Customer Reviews

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Format: Paperback
This book is a "must-have" for anyone who is a step-parent. I wish I had discovered it prior to taking on the role myself as perhaps I could have been better prepared for step-parenthood. The author is a step-parent herself which is extremely reassurring as you immediately feel she has a real appreciation of the difficulties. It is also a relief that she is very positive about the fact that although there are many difficulties, these can be worked through. The book is illustrated throughout with case-studies, which bring the text to life.Each chapter is summarized by bullet points at the end, and guidelines for various situations are highlighted throughout the book. Every conceivable situation is covered from jealousy to coping with a new baby in the family.I found it terribly reassuring that our step-family has not been unique in its problems, and it was good to hear of some other such families who had been through difficulties and yet reached a positive outcome.One of the main things I liked about this book was that I feel that it is written in a non-judgemental fashion and it is never patronising. How refreshing to find a book written on this subject!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Ibought this for my son and his wife as they have 5 children between them, they have found it invaluable in dealing with the dynamics of many differing personalities and day to day problems. It is well written and thought provoking.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews on (beta) (May include reviews from Early Reviewer Rewards Program) 1.5 out of 5 stars 2 reviews
45 of 46 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars I had to put this book down. 27 Nov. 1999
By A Customer - Published on
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This was a difficult read. It is printed in Great Britain and written for that audience. Therefore there are subtleties that were lost on this American. Chapter 2 is devoted to meeting step children. By the time you have step-parent issues, you're probably way beyond concerns about how to meet the stepchildren. By chapter 4 I was done with the book.
3 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars omits four essential topics 12 July 2004
By Peter Gerlach - Published on
Format: Paperback
I have specialized in providing professional education and therapy to divorced, courting, and re/wedded couples since 1981. I am 66, a stepgrandson, stepson, and ex-stepfather and stepbrother, an invited Board member of the Stepfamily Association of America, a contributing editor to 'Your Stepfamily Online,' and the author of six published books on wound-healing, communications, and high-nurturance family relationships.

Author Boyd is a veteran stepmother, not a seasoned therapist. She provides helpful anecdotes readers can relate to, and offers advice in an authoritarian style. However, like most authors in this genre, she omits at least four critical points that renders her book largely impractical:

1) why and how to assess and reduce co-parents' psychological wounds from a low-nurturance childhood (vs. divorce);

2) the origin and impacts of blocked grief in adults and kids, and how to spot and reduce it;

3) co-parent unawareness of five key topics: (a) normal personality formation, composition, and function; (b) keys to high-nurturance families and relationships, (c) effective communication skills, (d) healthy 3-level grief, and (e) stepfamily realities, norms, and implications. and...

4) little effective re/marital and co-parenting help (i.e. courtship coaching, classes, informed counseling, co-parent support groups) available in most communities and the media.

In my clinical experience, these factors will often block motivated adults from following well-meant stepfamily advice, as in this book. If ignored, the factors inexorably promote choosing the wrong people to re/wed, for the wrong reasons, at the wrong time - and subsequent stresses and re/divorce. Awareness, acceptance, and discussion of these (and related) factors can reduce the first three stressors, and help to achieve high-nurturance stepfamilies.

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