- Format: Kindle Edition
- File Size: 1973 KB
- Print Length: 127 pages
- Page Numbers Source ISBN: 148344354X
- Publisher: Lulu Publishing Services (9 Feb. 2016)
- Sold by: Amazon Media EU S.à r.l.
- Language: English
- ASIN: B01C3A1RYC
- Text-to-Speech: Enabled
- Word Wise: Enabled
- Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
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You're Grounded for Life: Misguided Parenting Strategies That Sounded Good At the Time Kindle Edition
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Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
With a daughter around the ages of Jones’s daughters, I read my own story in “You’re Grounded for Life”—at least at times. His daughters “do everything in their power to bring their father to the brink of emotional exhaustion.” I’ve been there. In the early days, Jones experienced “an uncontrollable urge to speak in a high-pitched chirpy voice about successful bowel movements.” I felt that urge. In later years, he wanted to barricade his “daughter’s bedroom window with titanium alloy-reinforced bars and a security system that goes off when it detects a can of Red Bull or a 12-pack of Trojans.” His story makes me laugh because I have lived it.
The “misguided parenting strategies” of the subtitle may actually help you raise your kids. You get a helpful list of mistakes most parents have made, for example, “Picking up after your teenager when they leave their stuff around the house…. After all, if you don’t do it, who will?” Rather than play housekeeper, try this solution: “Just pick up anything and everything Jason leaves around the house and deposit it in the giant dumpster known as his bedroom. Within days, the accumulation of dirty socks, stale pizza, flat soda, and food-encrusted dishes should get the message through.” That sounds like a real strategy—a bit more realistic than the ankle cuffs Jones suggests using to keep your teenagers at the dining room table until everyone is finished.
Part of Jones’s humor is that he keeps readers guessing. He might be telling the truth, but…. At three, did his daughter really decide to “help her daddy water the house plants by hauling our garden hose indoors, then proceeding to water the plants…and the living room carpet…and the wood floors…? Sounds plausible, but does the Gloucester Dragons Recreational Soccer League of Ottawa really penalize teams that win by more than five goals? It can’t be, right? But the league is real. Jones makes me laugh at my own gullibility.
Tim Jones is goofy, fun, and human. He recommends downsizing the family by firing the kids. He suggests wild lies your child could fabricate to get into a select college. He promises that the book “contains absolutely no calories and no trans fats.” At the same time, he sincerely apologizes to his daughters for “the 15,000 times” he told them “remember, make good choices,” and he includes sweet photos of them.
I recommend the wit and wacky wisdom of “You’re Grounded for Life: Misguided Parenting Strategies That Sounded Good at the Time.” The book helped me remember the good and the ghastly parenting moments. The laughs were a bonus.
In addition to providing great laughs, Tim's newest book provides the bonus of learning from his parenting mistakes! It's a win-win! Well, except for his kids; but, look on the bright side...the book sales will pay for their therapy!
So, what are you waiting for? Buy the book already!
Tim, just in case you read this...Go Angels! Beat the Mariners!
One or two stories a day, preferably read during morning constitutionals in the privacy of your bathroom, should serve as literary tonic to the dark hilarity of the day’s politics. Think of it as the modern reader’s answer to the Sears Roebuck catalogue in this era of lost outhouses. If Tim can’t make you laugh, you can still put his book to good use. Unless of course you ordered the Kindle version, which, unfortunately, I did.