Why Him? Why Her?: How To Find And Keep Lasting Love Paperback – 1 Feb 2011
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"Helen Fisher's latest research follows years of experiments analysing the nature of love." (Metro)
"Engrossing, entertaining." - Praise for 'Anatomy of Love' (Publishers Weekly)
"In times of upheaval, nothing offers safe harbor like science. That’s where Helen Fisher comes in…. Her research led her inside the biological mechanisms of mate choice." (Time Magazine)
"Why Him? Why Her? examines how brain chemistry determines temperament and temperament dictates whom we love… [Fisher offers] a giddy, romantic notion, well worth considering." (Los Angeles Times)
"Fascinating…. You may already have your dream lover, but you’ll want to read this for the many insights on the science of love." (Boston Globe)
"Helen Fisher's latest research follows years of experiments analysing the nature of love."
--This text refers to an alternate Paperback edition.
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Top Customer Reviews
It centres around the supposition that there are four basic personality types, controlled by the dominant chemical element in the body.
The author begins with the statement that scientists now believe that some 50% of the variations in human personality are associated with genetic factors and we inherit much of the factors of the mind.
She however further reminds us that ones personality is more than biology alone. It is made up of one's character which stems from experience and temperament which stems from ones biological make up and chemistry. Character traits being shaped by our parents interests and values. , how people in our community express love and hate ; what relatives and friends regard as polite , dangerous or exciting, religious beliefs, types of recreation and many other cultural factors.
Ones temperament , which is determined by biology, on the other hand is determined by biology and the author quotes Spanish philosopher Jose Ortega y Gasset who puts it 'I am plus my circumstances' Temperament being the 'I am' and which is the very foundation of who we basically are.
Our biological nature whispers continually within us to influence who we love' continues the author
The four personality types are
Explorers whose basic chemical element is dopamine, and who seek adventure and sensation , are risk takers, are impulsive and curious. And hate the idea of 'being tamed' they crave adventure They tend to be more liberal in their political outlook than the other personality types. Explorers trust their impulses.Read more ›
Perhaps due to this, from my personal results it's telling me to go for someone that I really don't like the sound of and don't want to try to search for. Then again, this could be because I'm more of a mixed bag than the simple MAJOR/minor dual personality-type system she uses. Perhaps I'm giving too much weight to the secondary traits as well. She does at times admit some people are more 'balanced' than this dual system, or even don't have a clearly dominant set of traits at all. At least it's got me thinking, reinforces research findings I've seen before, and I believe it will still be useful for me!
I call it an ‘eye-opener’. I am one of those people who will do anything to be “loved” by others (my primary personality type is negotiator). However, as my second personality type is the explorer, that makes me detached and sometimes a bit of a loner. Then, I thought there was something wrong with me. How can I like people so much but want to be alone at the same time?
- The answer was simple; I have a more or less balanced personality in the following order: Negotiator/explorer and Director/Builder.
So after reading the book, I feel that I know and understand more about myself and that is helping me to be more flexible.
Furthermore, it made me realise that there is nothing wrong with my husband either (he is a director/explorer), and that even when we can be very different, still we agree in the most essential and significant things.
local NY Metro paper I was intrigued enough to pick up a copy. Fishers
premise is that there are four general personality types that exist in the world: Explorers, Builders, Directors, and Negotiators. Fisher believes the more you know about yourself and how you are around other types of people the easier it is find people who work in your life. I really had fun reading this book and I laughed many times, as I saw myself, and how my particular personality reacts around different types of people. I feel I now have the tools to know the right type of person for me and will be able to weed out with great ease those who don't work.
Another book I really enjoyed reading (and that's great for leaning about yourself and others) is How to Create a Magical Relationship: The 3 Simple Ideas that Will Instantaneously Transform Your Love Life by award winning authors Ariel and Shya Kane.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Ok but I won't buy another of her books because I find her a bit boringPublished 2 months ago by Easy Tan
Absolutely adored reading this book - I am studying psychology and have always been fascinated with the personality "colours". Read morePublished 6 months ago by Amazon Customer
A very well written, fascinating background to attraction, full of useful tips, explanations and memorable quotes. Everyone should read this!Published on 20 Jan. 2014 by alasdair welsh
I thoroughly enjoyed this book and the writing was in some places sublime.
The personality type test was very revealing and I found myself nodding in agreement. Read more
I bought this book as it was recommnded to me. I haven't read it cover to cover but it has been interesting to dip into.Published on 11 April 2013 by Pennylane
A great book and read, gives a real insight into our personality traits and tendancies in a straightforward and accurate way. Highly recommended.Published on 15 Dec. 2012 by Suzy Q
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