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on 6 September 2012
This was recommended to me by a lady on a Kids Turn course run by my local Relate, She had been in a similar situation to me having escaped from a control freak, divorced him but he was still trying to control her life as they had a pre-teen daughter. I'm still sharing a house with mine, in the process of divorcing him but he is reluctant to move out. This book really opened my eyes to a lot of things, my abuse was all verbal, but abuse is abuse whatever form it takes. I didn't realise until 3 years ago that I was in an abusive relationship!! I have purchased and read other books which I have found illuminating. This is a must for anyone who even suspects their relationship may be abusive, I found myself among the pages and it was scary to realise this was my life. It gave me strength and put me on the road to seeing things much clearer than I had been viewing them. My daughter has been affected by verbal abuse also, her father is unable to see the devastation he has caused.
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on 16 July 2016
An excellent and insightful book on the subject. Well worth reading.

After reading 'The Verbally Abusive Relationship' I realised I needed to know more about how the abuse had affected my kids, who are both grown-up now with kids of their own. My daughter has often been difficult and seems to blame me for something I am unaware of. So when I saw this book I bought this too, hoping it might give me some answers and insight into what their lives were really like living with all that abuse flying round throughout their childhood.

What an eye-opener! I had tried to prevent my kids hearing what went on, but this book helped me realise that they would have been the innocent by-standers and equally as traumatised as I was, though the abuse was rarely directed at them. I'm sure they were fearful - my son often went into his elder sister's bedroom to be with her when things erupted, for comfort/security. Life was pretty awful for me, so it was certainly no better for them. Like me, they too probably experienced anxiety and dread as the time grew near when their father was due home from work.

It was hard to read this book, and I was very emotional at times, but it has enabled me to see a way forward in order to talk to my daughter about what was going on during her childhood. This book confirms that it is frequently impossible to be a good mum whilst taking lots of abuse, as your instinct is to just try and simply survive. The truth is that you do your best in very difficult circumstances, but through no fault of your own, it often falls short of what is really needed.

The writer confirms that a man who cares for his family and children, doesn't abuse their mother as it prevents her taking proper care of the children. It is important to know that if, like me, you have frequently felt to have fallen short in the "Super Mum" stakes.
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on 28 January 2013
After suffering at the hands of my husband for many years, I found this book an essential in helping me to help my children move forward. Hard to read at times and emotional but non judgement and gave good practical help and advice.
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on 15 June 2013
An interesting read which did inform my practice when working with children affected by domestic violence. I have a clearer view of how children react to trauma.
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on 22 March 2013
Another good read by Lundy, another good book of his is Why does he do that. it has helped me work better with mothers to get their understanding the impact domestic abuse has on children.
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on 11 January 2015
Was really good insight how to understand how kids feel and what strategies to use to approach kids, long to read but full of plenty of tips, would recommend
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on 27 April 2013
Well written easy to read and understand. Also easy to imagine yourself in some of the situations described. Hard to decide what to in real life situations. Books make it seem easy
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on 25 December 2015
Great book ! Clear and invaluable info
Everything the book predicted would happen, reactions, everything - did happen
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on 21 April 2012
This Book is one of the best, in this field of information. Empathethic and Understanding, and can be a great comfort to all in this type of situation. Highly Recommend. Easy Reading.

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on 19 May 2016
A must for all women. Should be given to all agencies including police, social services, solicitors, teachers, counsellors, nurses, doctors etc a real eye opener!!!!
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