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What's Stopping You Being More Confident? Paperback – 14 Dec 2012

4.0 out of 5 stars 30 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Capstone; 1 edition (14 Dec. 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0857083090
  • ISBN-13: 978-0857083098
  • Product Dimensions: 13.6 x 1.3 x 21.6 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 333,035 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

Product Description

Review

Kelsey has produced a thoughtful and easily accessible book. While it will be of interest to a broad audience, its focus on preventing hubris and achieving potential should resonate with managers (Irish Times, 21st January 2013)

..an excellent book to study, to make your companion and to help you discover what s holding you back and what you could do to improve your situation.′ (parentswithouttears.com, January 2013)

another helpful practical guide for those clear minds who already  know what s missing–confidence all the good decisions and ideas must have a strong base to carry them out; that s what confidence and this book can bring.   (Start Your Business, January 2013)

admirably broad minded, covering everything from depression to procrastination and calling in almost every philosopher on the market for nuggets of wisdom. (People Management, February 2013)

practical, helpful advice (The Sun, 8th February 2013)

All good decisions and ideas must have a strong base to carry them out, that s what confidence and this book can bring. (Start Your Business, February 2013)

The book has range, depth, integrity and whilst it doesn t threaten you with quizzes or exercises, the congruence of all theories he draws on and the consistency of the message make it worthy of your time. (HR Zone, June, 2013)

From the Back Cover

Do you lack confidence or self belief?

Join the club. Millions of otherwise smart people lack the confidence to achieve their full potential at work, in their careers and even in their personal pursuits. Yet confidence isn t something that can be conjured from motivational exercises or via quick–fix techniques.

Confidence is something you must build for yourself. It takes planning and action, deciding where you want to gain confidence and how it must be won. It will require courage, optimism and resilience.

In this follow–up to his international bestseller What s Stopping You? Robert Kelsey offers a deep understanding of confidence, suing extensive research analysis, as well his own experiences, to help you to:

  • Identify the truth about confidence its root causes, as well as the damaging self beliefs that generate poor confidence
  • Accept who you are, while planning your path towards confidence through achievement
  • Understanding the myths around confidence, such as the need to be outgoing or to have talent
  • Overcome the most common barrier to strong confidence: other people
  • Deal with other barriers to confidence such as shyness, anxiety, stress, prefudice and even hubris

 



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Customer Reviews

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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
For a self-help book, this is refreshingly humble and honest in its approach. Set against a very candid telling of his own struggle with confidence, Kelsey presents a series of short and snappy chapters which really get to the crux of confidence problems. From the techniques of decision-making (drawing on recent research into heuristics) and critical thinking, to simple guidelines on coping with big events, it really tries to cover the range of situations where lack of confidence might cripple. It's no-nonsense and full of practical advice, backed up not only by psychology, but also by a fellow confidence-builder in the author.

There's lots of practical personal identity work on offer throughout the book's guides and mantras - all the more helpful for the fact that the author himself has been through it (and is still working on it, as is every human being!). As such, it's probably the least patronising book of this type I've ever read!

From work to dating, it's an excellent mine of advice - thoroughly recommended.
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Format: Paperback
I rarely write reviews but I had to about this book. I've just finished it and, pretty unheard of for me, I'm just about to read it again. I've read lots of books on confidence over the years but none have been so concise or so compelling as this one.

What's different about it?
Kelsey uses his own continuing battle with under-confidence as the core narrative, sharing stories and anecdotes that make it obvious that he really does 'get it'. He absolutely knows how it feels.

It's this honesty and transparency about the often irrational feelings under-confidence can conjure that makes the book feel so authentic. It also has none of the thinly-veiled smugness of some self-help books I could mention.

On a practical level, the chapters are short and concise with handy boxed summaries at the end for quick recaps. It's well-researched and referenced and as I'm finding, the tools and techniques to help build lasting confidence are really effective.

In summary, I loved it. It's really helped me and I'd give it six stars if I could.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I felt I was not as confident as I could be and downloaded this book because of the great reviews. I was impressed. Robert Kelsey's uses his example of the different steps to being more confident. It was interesting to hear how he became quite hubristic when he was in New York and he explains why this was false confidence. I really liked that it was not by some American self-help guru but someone who grew up in the UK and understands our social culture. My key learning point from the book was the need to adopt a learning attitude. When I reflected, I recognised that I had been more confident earlier in my career when I knew I needed to learn from experiences. I have recommended this book to friends and I would recommend it to others - even those who think they don't need such a book. I wish I had read this book earlier.
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By Sandford VINE VOICE on 23 Jun. 2013
Format: Paperback Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
What is significant for me is that the author uses self disclosure to give weight and added realism to the views expressed in the book. It is very tightly written, and needs ingesting slowly. Dismissing the idea of a "quick fix" to lack of confidence is something I do applaud. I have not come across this much, if at all, in other such texts. If I have, this one sticks out as being more genuine.

As others have mentioned it is exceedingly well researched, and importantly, he always endeavours to provide well-balanced views, offering his own opinions in a neutral way. For instance regarding Maslow. I have also been rather uneasy about the self actualisation aspect of his hierarchy, which I feel is a rather nonsensical idea, an impossible place to be. The author provides his own views on this very succinctly and presents his views in a clear way.

All the chapters are meaty, and little can be skimmed. Truly a book that needs to be re-read, as there is much to assimilate. Intelligently well balanced in terms of presenting conflicting theories and psychological approaches, with cogent and coherent criticisms.

Presenting the notion that we have to accept our personal histories rather than the futile task of curing it is very refreshing to me. To start from an initial acceptance is also reassuring for me. A certain mind set is needed.

I'm left with the simple idea that the desire for growth is really just appreciating we are mortal, so make the most of it - always be prepared to learn and be open. The idea of a journey towards confidence, rather than a destination is a reassuring and realistic one. This book is like a toolbox with nearly everything you might need as a resource for study on its own, or for suggesting ideas for other personal research.
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Format: Paperback Vine Customer Review of Free Product ( What's this? )
I sometimes have a problem with `self-help' books in that the books are very proscriptive in their approach and you do get the feeling that the person has attended a few management seminars and got no real life experience. Talking a good game but never having experienced the game itself. In this respect Kelsey is different. You get a real feeling of empathy in that through honestly describing his journey and the trials he experienced, Kelsey knows what it's like to suffer and still suffer from chronic under confidence. And for once in a book of this type there is an on-going narrative that you have to work at defeating the demons, that there is no magic bullet; that you will have good days and bad days but you just have to keep going. Basically accept who and what you are, acknowledge the baggage you have accumulated in life and work from there.

Well laid out with short punchy chapters complete with a summary box at the end of each. A refreshingly honest and practical book that keeps to the point and doesn't ramble off into incoherent psychobabble, this is a follow-up to Kelsey's other work What's Stopping You?: Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can which is also an excellent and readable text. I work in mental health and would thoroughly recommend this book and if you've not read 'What's stopping you' I'd recommend that as well.
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