Vampires Are from Venus, Werewolves Are from Mars: A Comprehensive Guide to Attracting Supernatural Love Paperback – 11 Dec 2012
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It includes all around sage advice:
Yes, it's a scary big universal dating pool. We all have to get along, so we are all naturally attracted to people with whom we must learn to get along. Because, at the end of the cosmic day (and just before cosmic happy hour), we kind of need them. And they need us. So that the world does not fall apart as a result of our infantile unresolved conflict.
There is also educational information included!
Venus is the second planet from the sun, boiling-hot and roiling with primeval gases, especially methane (think, auto exhaust and farts). Naturally, it is the planet of Love...
...the Moon is tiny in the greater scheme of planet things, but it's huge and devastating in our poetic imagination--deceptively cool and stately-slow, sailing in the night heavens--and it controls the tides. And Mercury is also tiny, scalding-hot on one side only (like your toast), and super-fast, and closest to the sun and far from us--and yet it has that damned Retrograde every few months that causes our mail to get lost, our pants to shrink in the dryer, and ruins our travel plans. How is that not sneaky and impressive?
All of this is just the tip of the iceberg. This book includes a test to help you determine which paranormal you are best suited for a love relationship with and follows it up with an analysis of your results. All in all this is an entertaining read. I really enjoyed the writing style utilized in this novelette.
Format/Typo Issues: I found no significant editing or formatting errors.
**Originally written for "Books and Pals" book blog. May have received a free review copy.** December 11, 2013
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
Reading Level: Adult
Recommended for: Anyone, but especially if you're becoming sick of PNR
Disclosure: I picked this e-book up from Amazon while it was on free promotion because I have enjoyed this author's work in the past. No review was requested. All opinions are my own.
Synopsis (altered for length): Admit it, you've secretly dreamed of dating a sexy brooding vampire or an alpha werewolf...
But what about dating zombies, mummies, angels, fairies, demons, ghosts, random spotted aliens with tentacles, or other random, metaphysical impossibilities?
Furthermore, what if those paranormal beings in turn dreamed of dating each other--each one in search of their own supernatural soul mates?
The answer lies, as usual, in the planets, and the entire solar system of planetary harmonic alignment.
Take the supernatural compatibility test and discover your own soul planet.
Discover what planet rules which supernatural species, and which paranormal personality combinations offer the most compatibility to each other -- and to you.
And then, be matched with the supernatural soul mate of your wildest dreams!
It's all in here!
Plus, as a special bonus, discover the Supernatural Matchmaker's greatest advice-the Love Secret.
My Thoughts: This was really hilarious! Not only does it parody a self-help love manual, it also satirizes modern paranormal romances in general, as well as many urban fantasy tropes. Wonderful stuff! Given half a chance I'd probably quote half the book, but I'll try to keep the quoting brief.
"You've even sat in prominent window seats at bookstore cafés pretending to write a magnum opus on your laptop while reading paranormal romance blogs--all in order to attract the precious attention of a real vampire, werewolf, fairy (sorry, fae), angel, demon, spotted hedgehog alien from another planet, or some other winged, horned, or tentacled supernatural lover."
"Zombies also mill around like moo-cows. And if they go anywhere, they usually travel in mobs of infected individuals. Let's call `em z-mobs. You know how that works--a pride of lions, a murder of crows, a z-mob of zombies."
I also discovered that I am an Almost Normal Earthling at soul. So, there you have it. A hilarious parody, wonderfully funny satire. If you, like me, are becoming a bit jaded about PNR, then give this a chance, and have a good laugh at it all.
Recommended if you have read or watched at least one book or movie featuring vampires or werewolves or ghosts as a romantic interest, and aren't above laughing at it. Or if you know which Zodiac signs you are compatible with, and enjoy that bit of silliness. I think it would make a great holiday gift.
A definite must read!