Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason Hardcover – 22 Mar 2005
|New from||Used from|
Customers who viewed this item also viewed
What other items do customers buy after viewing this item?
Enter your mobile number or email address below and we'll send you a link to download the free Kindle App. Then you can start reading Kindle books on your smartphone, tablet, or computer - no Kindle device required.
To get the free app, enter your mobile phone number.
""Unconditional Parenting" is going to make you think--hard--about the type of relationship you want to have with your child, about your parenting priorities, and about how to avoid many of the mistakes of our predecessors. It's what we've come to expect from Alfie Kohn, and this is unquestionably one of his most persuasive, important works. For your sake and your child's...read it!"
--Ross W. Greene, "The Explosive Child"
"This book underscores an important parenting principle: Discipline is more about having the right relationship with your child than having the right techniques."
--William Sears, "The Baby Book and The Discipline Book"
"A gift to parents! Armed with voluminous research, Alfie Kohn exposes the harm inherent in widely accepted disciplinary practices and offers a variety of powerful alternatives that make it possible for children to become their most thoughtful, caring, responsible selves."
--Adele Faber, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk"
"Alfie Kohn holds a crucial position in the American dialogue on parenting. "Unconditional Parenting" is a very important book that can challenge, support, and even change our perspective on what parents do."
--Michael Gurian, "The Wonder of Boys and The Wonder of Girls"
"Alfie Kohn does it again: He takes a topic (parenting) that has been studied and written about for years and gives us a wise way of adjusting our lenses so that we really see it clearly. He doesn't give simple rules, he gives deep understanding and a core foundation for parents."
--JoAnn Deak, "Girls Will Be Girls"
"Powerful alternatives to help children become their most caring, responsible selves." -- Adele Faber, coauthor of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen . . . --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
About the Author
Alfie Kohn is the author of nine previous books, including Punished by Rewards and The Schools Our Children Deserve, that have helped to shape the thinking of parents and educators across the country and abroad. He lectures widely and lives (actually) with his family in the Boston area and (virtually) at www.alfiekohn.org. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.
Top customer reviews
The essence of this book lies in the beautiful idea it presents. A definite eye-opener. A brilliant read.
All of its conclusions are based on hard evidence.
Sadly I only came across this very recently and not 7 years ago. Had I come across this earlier, it would have channelled my energy used for punishing, for more useful interactions with my children such as helping them understand the emotions inside them and help them express their feelings differently and in better, non-aggressive ways which won't hurt others. Instead of spending time on supervising my children completing their 'time out' time or thinking up 'consequences' to punish them, I should have invested in more emotionally productive means such as conversations to help make children empathetic to the feelings of others, to create moral awareness, to help them to feel responsible for their actions and most of all, to help deal with anger and aggression. Instead, i have involuntarily fuelled aggression, frustration and hatred. And definitely not stimulated self-reflection. 'Punishment breads misbehaviour' and 'Rewards are counterproductive’.
This book entirely questions the way we have been raised and the strategies we apply - punishment and rewards - in order to excise control over our children and use power and pressure to make children obey and comply in the short run. This book explains why these strategies are not only questionable but why they don't work and why they're even counterproductive. Based on trials and research this book demonstrates in excellent ways its core theory and concludes important arguments against ‘conditional parenting'. We do not want children who are obedient out of pressure and out of fear of loosing love, and without a sense of self. We all want moral, independent individuals who have the ability to be proud of them from the inside and who don’t depend on external praise. We want people who don’t comply blindly. This book is NOT an invitation to anti-authoritarian parenting but an invitation to be permissive of the feelings of children, not of the actions. It's very much the school of thought as Haim Ginott’s 'Parent and Child'. Treat kids with love and attention. You can not spoil them. The more you show understanding for children, the more desirable the outcome.
This book looks at the core of issues of kids: to identify their feelings and to help them express these in better ways, ways that are not hurtful to others, neither emotionally nor physically. The book looks at the heart of the problem of misbehaviour: feelings that come out wrongly and unpredictibally. Feelings that have been suppressed and not dealt with before. This book is in every sense the opposite of how I was brought up or from what I've read and seen such as 'Supernanny' and other common parenting informations that have lead me into a wrong direction. It is going to be a hard journey to change my own conditioned behaviour so drastically.
Everything in this book confirms the secret fears of every parent, of raising children wrongly. And this is hard to admit to oneself. For a many parents this book is likely to be too radical. I'm hopeful it’s not too late for my children.
Would you like to see more reviews about this item?
Most recent customer reviews
Look for similar items by category