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Portia De Rossi

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Unbearable Lightness: A Story of Loss and Gain Paperback – 7 July 2011

by Portia de Rossi (Author)

4.5 1,950 ratings

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"I didn't decide to become anorexic. It snuck up on me disguised as a healthy diet, a professional attitude. Although there was a certain glamour to anorexics, I didn't want to be one. I just wanted to excel in dieting. And weighing in at 80 pounds on 300 calories a day, I was the best little dieter there ever was."

In scalding prose, Portia de Rossi reveals the pain and illness that haunted her for decades. She alternately starved herself and binged, putting her life in danger and lying to herself and everyone around her about the depth of her illness. From her lowest point, Portia began the painful climb back to health and happiness, ultimately falling head over heels in love with Ellen DeGeneres. In this remarkable and landmark book, she tells a story that inspires hope and nourishes the spirit.

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"Portia de Rossi's memoir reminds us that fame and celebrity is no substitute for feeling comfortable in one's own skin, and unconditional love. Her journey toward self-acceptance is an important lesson for those who struggle with eating disorders, sexual orientation, and confidence. Every girl who dreams of being a model should read this book, to learn that the best judge of beauty is not society -- but self." -- Jodi Picoult "Anyone who's ever wondered why a beautiful, talented young woman would starve herself -- as well as anyone looking for a powerfully-written memoir -- should read Unbearable Lightness. Portia De Rossi tells her story with genuine insight and unflinching honesty. Her plight is horrifying, but De Rossi herself is entirely sympathetic, and by the end, you will cheer her on." --Jeannette Walls "De Rossi is beautiful and famous and married to another celebrity and all of this makes it very easy to roll your eyes and dismiss Unbearable Lightness, her memoir of overcoming an eating disorder. Don't make that mistake: this is quite possibly the best book on the subject ever written. It is riveting and ruthlessly honest. De Rossi is the real deal; she's a fine writer with a sharp mind and tremendous substance who has turned in a rich, layered book of remarkable courage, power and significance. I have no doubt that her story will serve as life-changing inspiration for many young women currently struggling with their own food issues. But the book's general excellence makes it a fascinating and inspiring read for anyone." --Augusten Burroughs "There are passages in this book that I had to read through my fingers, and others that made me laugh aloud. UNBEARABLE LIGHTNESS is breathtakingly honest, brutal and beautiful." --Jonathan Safran Foer 'a courageous, startlingly honest account...It really is an amazing read; beautifully writen, it vividly captures the alarming, self-destructive thought processes that drive anorexic behaviour' Diva Magazine, Jan 2011 'a surprisingly open memoir...Her book is a gripping story about dealing with the combined shame, as she saw it, of gayness and fatness' Times Magazine, Nov 2010 'This is the moving, often heartbreaking story of how the actress came to terms with her body and her sexuality, finding the strength to overcome her fears and create a life that nourished both her body and her soul' Scottish Daily Record

About the Author

Portia de Rossi is an Australian-born actress and model. She currently resides is Los Angeles with her wife Ellen DeGeneres. This is her first book.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ Simon & Schuster UK (7 July 2011)
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Paperback ‏ : ‎ 320 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0857204114
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0857204110
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 13 x 2.5 x 19.8 cm

Best Sellers Rank: 192,845 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- 54 in Eating Disorder Biographies
- 1,365 in Philosopher Biographies

Customer reviews:
4.5 1,950 ratings

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Portia De Rossi

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Portia de Rossi is an Australian-born actress best known for her roles in the popular television series Ally McBeal, Arrested Development, and most recently Better Off Ted. She currently resides is Los Angeles with her wife Ellen DeGeneres. This is her first book.

Customer reviews

1,950 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find the book readable and thought-provoking. They appreciate the author's honesty and straightforward writing style that makes it easy for them to relate to the issues she faced. The story is described as honest, interesting, and eye-opening. Readers praise the author's portrayal of body image struggles and self-criticism. Overall, they describe the book as unique and well-written.

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Readability Insight Writing style Honesty Story quality Image quality Beauty Emotional content

73 customers mention ‘Readability’73 positive0 negative

Customers find the book engaging and thought-provoking. They say it's a must-read for teenage girls and women. The book is honest and keeps readers hooked.

"...It is very well written and totally keeps you hooked, as pages after pages, you can hardly believe the hell this young woman puts herself through...." Read more

"This is an exceptional book. It is raw, vulnerable and brutally honest. It is beautifully written and so readable that you can't put it down...." Read more

"Absolutely loved reading this book. Both Portia and Ellen are my all time idols...." Read more

"...I feel like this book should be a must-read for all teenage girls, and for most women in fact...." Read more

64 customers mention ‘Insight’64 positive0 negative

Customers find the book insightful and uplifting. They say it's an emotional account of the author's struggles with mental health issues. The book provides an honest, emotional view into the anorexic mind and the journey towards finding inner peace. Readers appreciate the author's sympathetic and down-to-earth writing style.

"...But also a tremendously hopeful testimony that even when you reach the lowest point, one day eventually, things start slowly to turn round and light..." Read more

"...Portia de Rossi offers such rare honesty that she provides true insight into the anorexic mind, helping the reader to understand the causes, the..." Read more

"...Well written, heartfelt and easy to read" Read more

"...I thought it was well written; she comes across as sympathetic & down to earth, navigating Hollywood for the first time...." Read more

43 customers mention ‘Writing style’35 positive8 negative

Customers find the book's writing style eloquent and easy to read. They appreciate that it provides a clear, humanized picture of anorexia. The author is successful in presenting the inner workings of an anorexic mind, helping readers understand the causes, motivations, and symptoms.

"...It is very well written and totally keeps you hooked, as pages after pages, you can hardly believe the hell this young woman puts herself through...." Read more

"...she provides true insight into the anorexic mind, helping the reader to understand the causes, the motivations, the symptoms, the highs and lows,..." Read more

"...Well written, heartfelt and easy to read" Read more

"...I think it gives a really clear, really humanised picture of what it is to have an eating disorder or struggle with your weight or body image or self..." Read more

41 customers mention ‘Honesty’38 positive3 negative

Customers appreciate the honest and well-written book. They find it gripping and heartbreaking, portraying real problems in a true life. The author's honesty helps them overcome internal voices of condemnation, self-induced fear, and hidden shame.

"...It is raw, honest, written in blood and very painful...." Read more

"This is an exceptional book. It is raw, vulnerable and brutally honest. It is beautifully written and so readable that you can't put it down...." Read more

"...I think the honesty in this book is brutal - at times it almost feels like too much, but I'm glad that she shared it all, with all the gritty,..." Read more

"This book deserves 5 stars simply for its unwavering honesty, and unwillingness to withhold even the most disturbing of details...." Read more

12 customers mention ‘Story quality’12 positive0 negative

Customers find the story engaging and honest. They describe it as an interesting tale of life and hope. The author writes from the heart, with some happy and fun stories mixed in. Overall, readers appreciate the author's genuine insight into Portia's struggles.

"...Having said that, I found her memoir fascinating...." Read more

"I love Portia's candid story and feel she really tells her story from the heart...." Read more

"...recommend reading this as it has been written beautifully and a real honest story of what Portia went through during her early modelling days...." Read more

"It's one of the best books i've ever read! The story is so personal and open, you're getting all the small details too...." Read more

10 customers mention ‘Image quality’10 positive0 negative

Customers find the book's images realistic and humanized. They say it provides a clear picture of what an eating disorder is like, struggles with body image, and being a gay female. The memoir offers insights into fame, body image issues, and the brutal reality of living.

"...I think it gives a really clear, really humanised picture of what it is to have an eating disorder or struggle with your weight or body image or self..." Read more

"...This is her reality stripped and laid bare. Beautiful and disturbing, everyone should read this book." Read more

"This book gives a wonderful insight into fame, struggles with body image and the truth behind those skinny celebrities the media love to portray as..." Read more

"An honest, vulnerable memoir that portrays the stark and brutal reality of living with an eating disorder perfectly...." Read more

7 customers mention ‘Beauty’7 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's unique and intimate look at the other side. They find the insights insightful and the journey honest.

"...I hope her brave and beautiful book will help others to overcome their personal hell too...." Read more

"This book is quite an eye opener to the widespread issue with anorexia...." Read more

"...Goes to show it can happen to anyone. Portia is beautiful and its heartbreaking to learn that she doesn't see that." Read more

"I found this to be a very unique and intimate look at the other side of Hollywood and the world of modelling. Truly inspirational read." Read more

12 customers mention ‘Emotional content’4 positive8 negative

Customers have different reactions to the emotional content. Some find it moving and heartbreaking, while others feel it's too personal and upsetting. They also mention it's a portrait of obsession and self-loathing.

"...It is raw, honest, written in blood and very painful...." Read more

"...It moved me to tears on several occasions and contained a very powerful message regarding the importance of self-acceptance...." Read more

"...It is not to be enjoyed, it's too painful and sad but it's not really informative abouts eds in general because it's too personal and it's not just..." Read more

"...This book in places is a hard and uncomfortable read, but ultimately it shows the strength of Portia de Rossi who should be commended for writing..." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

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Ann Fairweather
Raw, courageous, essential read.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 29 June 2012
Verified Purchase
Like most people, I know Portia de Rossi through the great past Ally McBeal serie. I was therefore very intrigued to see that she had written this autobiography that seemed so far away from the glamourous life I assumed she had. Her terrifying account of her weight problems over twenty years is simply devastating to read. It is very well written and totally keeps you hooked, as pages after pages, you can hardly believe the hell this young woman puts herself through. It is raw, honest, written in blood and very painful. But also a tremendously hopeful testimony that even when you reach the lowest point, one day eventually, things start slowly to turn round and light appears at the end of the tunnel...It strucked me though, that it took no less than 9/11 for Portia to wake-up to reality, a reality that is not counted in kilograms, but a reality of urgent living and love. Seeing her now so happy and well with Ellen de Generes, I realise that she has come a long way and truly deserves every second of this happiness. I hope her brave and beautiful book will help others to overcome their personal hell too. An essential read even if you have never been anorexic, because it is a vibrant account of someone fighting nearly to death with their inner demons. And we all have them, whatever names they take on.

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RM
Fantastic book
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 September 2011
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This is an exceptional book. It is raw, vulnerable and brutally honest. It is beautifully written and so readable that you can't put it down. It moved me to tears on several occasions and contained a very powerful message regarding the importance of self-acceptance. Despite this message, the book is neither preachy nor smug - quite the contrary. Portia de Rossi offers such rare honesty that she provides true insight into the anorexic mind, helping the reader to understand the causes, the motivations, the symptoms, the highs and lows, the side-effects, the difficulties in recovering, and the benefits of doing so. She exposes that which most sufferers of eating disorders do their utmost to hide, and in so doing, she also exposes the myth perpetuated by Hollywood that thinness is glamourous. This book does not glamourise anything. It does not leave you feeling inspired to renew your dieting efforts and follow in her footsteps. Instead, it reveals the pain that causes, and is caused by, eating disorders, and offers wisdom on how to move forward and break the cycle.
The intelligence, honesty, bravery, humour and insight of this book make it a gripping, moving and inspirational read. I cannot recommend it too highly.

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Amazon shopper 83
beautiful insights
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 22 April 2016
Verified Purchase
Absolutely loved reading this book. Both Portia and Ellen are my all time idols. And reading this book by Portia made me realise that she too is a normal person with normal issues and that anyone can make it through the storm when and if they decided to.

Well written, heartfelt and easy to read

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kindler
Courageous Isn't A Brave Enough Word
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 18 August 2014
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I can't explain the courage it must have took for Portia to not only write this book, but publish it, share it with the world, and then go on TV and talk about it and promote it. It's a raw account of her past struggles with eating disorders and weight/body image, which she has thankfully now overcome. I think the honesty in this book is brutal - at times it almost feels like too much, but I'm glad that she shared it all, with all the gritty, grotty details. I think it gives a really clear, really humanised picture of what it is to have an eating disorder or struggle with your weight or body image or self-worth.

I feel like this book should be a must-read for all teenage girls, and for most women in fact. You don't even need to have a particularly strong interest in the subject of eating disorders, and you don't need to have experienced once, to relate to parts of this book. She talks about the way the media portrays women, the way women look at other women and at themselves in terms of image, and there is a real behind-the-scenes angle on how TV personalities live. Anyone who watched Ally McBeal should definitely read this book from cover to cover. So should anyone who reads glossy magazines, anyone who has a daughter, anyone who is a big TV or celebrity fan, anyone who has low self-esteem, and anyone who is fed up of all the crap the media and clothes manufacturers and the modeling industry feed us on a daily basis.

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Ceebs
A vulnerable, open account of Portia's struggle with eating disorders
Reviewed in India on 4 July 2024
Verified Purchase
Portia has opened her deepest wounds for all to see. This book really gives you an idea of how relentless, cruel, and all-encompassing an eating disorder can be. Rich or poor, it does not discriminate and recovery, even for someone like Portia with the best resources, is still a huge uphill struggle. After all, eating disorders are created in the mind and loosening their death-grip needs help, support, and love. Reading her book made me reach out to a counselor for help. Portia shows that a life not thinking about food is worth it...worth the struggle. She shows how eating disorders take so much away from you and how the secrecy and shame eats you up. Whether you battle an ED or not, this book is a great, honest read.

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Melanie
A must read
Reviewed in Spain on 27 September 2019
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An absolutely fantastic book which is written with such openness and honesty. A complete page-turner and very relatable for anyone who has had to deal with hiding some part of his or her life.

I bought the Kindle version which I suspect has bits missing such as photos or passages. There are also typos contained in this version. It's such a shame that the Kindle version does reflect the same quality as the printed version. Publishers really do need to get their act together as in this day and age this should not be a happening!

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Francesca Rosati
Incredibile book, great lesson of life
Reviewed in Italy on 30 August 2017
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Portia De Rossi wrote this book with heart, courage and a profound awareness. She doesn't only describe her suffering and her disease, shared by many people in our Society, but she also shows everyone that recovering - however hard - is possibile because what really matters in our lives is not the shape of our body but the soul we have and the person we are, unique and authentic.
Life is not counting calories, cutting food or pretending to be different: life is loving ourselves, sharing the inner beauty everyone has, life is enjoying every single day with kindness, love and no fear, no matter what other people think of us.
Thank you Portia for giving all of us a wonderful lesson of life, love and self - acceptance.

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christel
Amazing read
Reviewed in Canada on 26 June 2014
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After a lot of ping pong mailing and my book not being delivered twice 3 time seemingly being the charm I got the book!!Me and my friend both got this book and we are hooked!! As someone who has gone/going trough similar issues I find this book refreshingly honest and not sugar coated! It is written so wonderfully easy to read.I feel inspired and will recommend to anyone.

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Yaoipower
Très touchant
Reviewed in France on 14 June 2014
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Je recommande ce livre à toute personne qui serait obsédée par son poids (avec ou sans réels problèmes...) ainsi qu'à tout fan de la très belle Portia de Rossi. Fan de la série Ally Mc Beal j'ai toujours trouvé Portia tout simplement sublime, loin de me douter de tout ce dont elle fait part dans son livre qui relate l'avant et l'après Ally, mais surtout l'époque de la série en elle-même. Comment devenir obsédé par son poids, comment faire face aux critères de beauté actuels lorsque l'on n'est pas parfait? Sachant que la très belle Portia qui n'avait absolument rien à changer s'est sentie obligée de mettre sa santé en danger pour entrer dans le moule "made in Hollywood". Superbe narration, extrêmement touchante, par moments on ne peut qu'essayer de retenir ses larmes...
Bien entendu le livre est en anglais, je ne sais pas si la version française existe, mais si vous avez le choix, la version originale est toujours la meilleure. Se lit très vite car très bien écrit.

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