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The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge Paperback – Illustrated, 19 April 2012

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 552 ratings

The Ultimate Guide to Kink is the first major guide to BDSM in a generation -- a bold and sexy collection of essays that run the gamut from expert how-to tutorials to provocative essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power, and pleasure. The book brings together diverse voices from the kink community in an unprecedented way: each chapter is written by a different sexuality/BDSM educator.

Divided into two sections, the first section features thorough, thoughtful pieces -- on everything from flogging to bondage -- packed with techniques and beautifully illustrated with original images from artist Katie Diamond. The second section is dedicated to role-playing fantasies and personal manifestos. From age play to masochism, these chapters cover some of the edgiest, most taboo and controversial elements of kink in depth.

The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favourite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel, and Edge. It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players.

Product description

Review

"Whatever you re into, whatever you try, the authors want you to do it right, consensually, and safely."
A Roll in the Hay
"I can't recommend this enough."
Krissy Novacaine
"It's essential reading. Each chapter focuses on a different kink, and each is written by a different expert in that field. It is an excellent tome for introducing someone to kink and for deepening your own interests (if by chance you are into that kind of thing). Contributors include Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, Fifth Angel, and Edge, writing about spanking, bondage, fisting, rough sex, domination, submission, masochism, sadism, tantra, and role play, among others. This is a rock star sex educator lineup which includes just about everything you'd need to know to pique your interest, juice up your Fetlife profile, and get yourself out into the world of leather, BDSM, and kink. It's not a substitute for hands-on learning, classes for which are abundant in most major cities, but it will get you started and deepen your understanding of any of these topicsbe they brand new to you or something you'd like to deepen. Tristan Taormino, as usual, gathered the definitive words on the most common kink skills and philosophies, and this book is essential reading for kinky and queer sexual adventures."
Lambda Literary Summer 2012 Cliterotica Review
"It will educate, inspire, and challenge both newcomers to the world of kink and experienced BDSM players."
Erotica Readers and Writers Association
"Enter
The Ultimate Guide to Kink. This opens that door for people to embark on that journey of knowledge and understanding, through unique and honest insight from people really in the know. I actually think that s one of the books greatest appeals; rather than this just being a general guide describing various forms and subtypes of kink, it really takes you into the world of each topic. And, I believe, this has been achieved so very well because Tristan Taormino has sought out some of the most experienced and knowledgeable people for each topic, to talk about their special areas of interest and expertise (I have included a complete list of contributors and the chapters they wrote at the end of this review), giving the reader the feeling that they really are getting a genuine and authentic insiders view."
Distinctly Female
"In this collection Taormino smoothly manages the difficult task of creating a book that can speak to a wide range of audiences.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink provides what I imagine is an approachable and welcoming introduction to many aspects of BDSM play that I wish I d had available to me when I jumped into BDSM a decade ago. From Felice Shay s chapter on Playing with Rough Sex to edgier and taboo role play like Digging in the Dirt: The Lure of Taboo Role Play by Mollena Williams, the book truly has something for folks of all experience levels, from a beginner who s curious about exploring to more experienced readers interested in being challenged by discussion of kink community/culture, edge play and consensually pushing our limits. The Ultimate Guide to Kink is a landmark collection destined to be a touchstone classic to recommend to anyone interested in BDSM exploration."
Lambda Literary
"An informed and informative 475-page compendium focusing upon diverse verse varieties of unconventional human sexuality,
The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge by Tristan Taormino provides 'user friendly' techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex, and incorporating alternative sexual activities into one's sex life. Of special note is the information presented on sexual role-play fantasy. Clearly for an adult readership only, The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge is highly recommended and instructive reading for men and women seeking to expand their experiences with respect to their sexuality."
Midwest Book Review
"This book is exactly what you need if you have ever had questions about kink. This book is such a nice introduction into kink, and it is also an instructional guide if you are not sure where to begin."
Kissin Blue Karen
"If you have ever wondered about kink then you need to pick up this book. This book will answer all of you questions. If you are curious about kink or an old hand at it this is a book you need to add to your collection. There are chapters on role-playing, dominance, submission, and much much more. If you are new to kink this book explains the different types of things you can try as well as a having a safeword. There is a chapter that shows you how to do bondage using ropes or scarves. There are tips and techniques. They even talk about aftercare at the end of the chapters. This is the complete deal."
Night Owl Reviews
So many of the people who write me at Savage Love are curious about kink some days it accounts for half the mail but they don t know where to start. I m going to be recommending this collection of essays. This is more than just a guide to kink, it s more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers, and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they ll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guard everyone can learn from this collection.
Dan Savage
"Tristan Taormino has gifted us with a magnificent collection of essays from kinkdom's finest educators: consider it required reading for every kinkster who lives life on the hot side."Dossie Easton, co-author of
The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book
"Tristan Taormino has created a perfect compendium of kink that covers the nuts and bolts (with illustrations!) of spanking, bondage, role-playing, rough sex and much more, as well as the philosophies, motivations and deeply personal experiences of an array of BDSM players. If "Brutal Affection" sounds like an oxymoron to you, read on. Keep a copy in your bedroomand your toy bag!"
Rachel Kramer Bussel, Editor,
Spanked and Best Sex Writing 2012
"Finally, a smart, comprehensive, and brave book on kinky sex for this generation. Tristan Taormino's
Ultimate Guide to Kink is the first really good new book on the subject in years. BDSM and kink aficionados are lifelong learners, endlessly fascinated with their own sexual and personal growth. They do love their sex guides! I expect this to be the BDSM bible for the next decade." Felice Newman, author of The Whole Lesbian Sex Book"

From the Back Cover

Expand Your Erotic Horizons Beyond the Ordinary
"This is more than just a guide to kink, it's more than a sex manual. Editor Tristan Taormino has brought the players, thinkers and rock stars of the kink scene and together they have created a book that not only lets people know where to start, but why to start, and what they'll get out of it. Vanillas, novices, old hands, old guardeveryone can learn from this collection." Dan Savage
Award-winning author, filmmaker and sex educator Tristan Taormino presents this bold and sexy treasury that runs the gamut from expert tutorials on kinky erotic practices to thought-provoking essays that delve into complex questions about desire, power and pleasure.
The Ultimate Guide to Kink features the expertise of renowned educators writing passionately on their favorite subjects, including Patrick Califia, Midori, Laura Antoniou, Barbara Carrellas, Lee Harrington, Jack Rinella, Lolita Wolf, Madison Young, Hardy Haberman, Felice Shays, Ignacio Rivera, Sarah Sloane, Mollena Williams, FifthAngel and Edge. This comprehensive volume includes:
techniques and creative ideas for bondage, spanking, flogging, sensation play, rough sex and more, illustrated by Katie Diamond
lessons on how to eroticize power, cultivate deeper connections and incorporate kink into your sex life
role-playing fantasies from the popular to the taboo
provocative and personal manifestos on dominance, submission, sadism and masochism"

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Cleis Press; Illustrated edition (19 April 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 448 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 157344779X
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1573447799
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.24 x 3.56 x 22.86 cm
  • Customer reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 552 ratings

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Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5
552 global ratings

Top reviews from United Kingdom

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 September 2015
A very informed and selective way to tailor your needs.
I found some ideas interesting and although not all would cater for my needs, it did highlight how the submissive world would react and need especially if you are the Dom.

Would recommend if you are still unsure of your needs and desires although for more experienced Doms, possibly providing knowledge already gained.
Still, a good insight of how to incorporate ideas for a Sub and their needs.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 28 March 2018
Whether you are experienced or beginner, I recommend this book. It goes from the vanilla role play to more extreme kinks. Learned a thing or two from this book.
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 8 June 2015
Interesting and informative covering a wide range of its subject matter. I am rather better informed on the subject that I had been. Rather interesting that a good lady friend suggested that it was well worth the read!
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 17 October 2015
lovely book for those who are interested in this domain . very detailed and complete ... i totally recommend it .. was about time to read such a good book
2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 23 August 2020
Not quite the ultimate guide, I would say. A couple of interesting chapters with tips (but why no photos to illustrate some of the techniques etc.?) and a more interesting section on various styles and philosophies (although that's perhaps a somewhat grand term). Since the chapters are written by different author, there is no unity of style and not much coherence nor a logical arc. A single-author book would work better if you aim to write a guide (be it ultimate or not).
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 26 February 2018
This is a wonderful book. It's very informative and written in a very friendly style. I'm glad I bought this book.
One person found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 22 October 2013
this was a very easy read....and full of useful information which can only make a Dom type feel more confidence about what she is doing. Deffo recommended
6 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 July 2014
fun book…….worth the read
2 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Shinri
5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting
Reviewed in Canada on 25 January 2023
At last i book that go deeping in the explanation than just a basic 101 kink. This book not only give description but also give tricks, a how to do several practice. Also repeat the importancr of consent, of doing thing safer, etc. It's just everything i could hope to find in a single book.
Danielle Berggren
5.0 out of 5 stars An invaluable tool, a well-written resource
Reviewed in the United States on 16 March 2016
This has proved an invaluable resource to someone not only researching but engaging in the type of activities listed within. The personal stories and anecdotes offer a dose of levity to the essays contained within.

I really like that each of the chapters is written by a "specialist" in that given field. This is not written by someone who considers themselves an expert at every aspect of BDSM because, let's face it, no one is.

I have read this book sections at a time, choosing the articles that interest me the most from the table of contents. I plan to read the entire thing eventually, even the parts that deal with kink that does not interest me.

ANYONE who is interested in BDSM/Kink should read this book. I want to see it on everyone's shelves. If you have kiddos, well, that's why we invented drawers or keyed lockboxes, everyone. Grab a copy and enjoy the ride.
3 people found this helpful
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Submissive Kay
5.0 out of 5 stars Just Got It ! LOVE IT!!
Reviewed in Canada on 25 February 2019
i got it on the day i was told it would come ! Was in great shape ! I will update when i get thought and read it , Its not letting my photos upload!
One person found this helpful
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BornofAshes
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Resource
Reviewed in the United States on 27 May 2013
This book is a great resource for any beginners interested in any area of BDSM and it can also be a great referrence guide for anoyone experienced in this realm. The book really lives up to its name and covers basically any area that you may be interested in. From spanking to flogging, whipping to piercing, or fisting to electrical play this book tackles just about everything. I would have to say this is easily one of the best books in my collection and would encourage anyone who might even be curious about this lifestyle to buy it.
One person found this helpful
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Eric Decker
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in Canada on 10 June 2018
Thi sis a keeper and forms part of the training I offer to subs