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Turkey Season (Part Two): Some Of The Worst Blockbusters

Cynical and Critical
 
Godzilla [DVD]
Godzilla [DVD]
"It had the potential to be a huge success, but Matthew Broderick stars in it so it was always destined to fail.  Also confirms that over-the-top CGI doesn’t necessarily make a movie great."
Titanic  (Special Edition)  [DVD]
Titanic (Special Edition) [DVD]
"Do yourself a favour: skip the first 144 minutes and the last 15 minutes and watch the part where the ship sinks. The rest of the movie (the fictitious stuff) will just bore the pants off you."
Independence Day [1996] [DVD]
Independence Day [1996] [DVD]
"One in a long line of, “wouldn’t you just know it, the Americans save the world?!” kind of movie.  The CGI’s look good on this one, but it’s just a blatant rip off of “War Of The Worlds” (original"
Waterworld [DVD] [1995]
Waterworld [DVD] [1995]
"Everybody criticises this movie.  Why should I be any different?  Complete and utter pants."
Catwoman [DVD] [2004]
Catwoman [DVD] [2004]
"The costume designer was the only real success story from this movie.  Unfortunately, take Halle Berry out of this movie, and we would have a contender for the worst movie ever."
Batman & Robin [DVD] [1997]
Batman & Robin [DVD] [1997]
"It says a lot about the movie studio’s faith in the project when the guy playing The Caped Crusader (George Clooney) was billed beneath one of the villains (Arnie).  It was also quite rubbish."
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider/Lara Croft - Tomb Raider: Cradle Of Life [DVD] [2003]
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider/Lara Croft - Tomb Raider: Cradle Of Life [DVD] [2003]
"The video games are brilliant…….the movies aren’t."
Pearl Harbor DVD (2 Disc Set) [2001]
Pearl Harbor DVD (2 Disc Set) [2001]
"Similar to Titanic, watch the part where the Japanese attack the bases and skip the rest.  Just because everyone saw it doesn’t mean to say everyone liked it."
Armageddon [DVD] [1998]
Armageddon [DVD] [1998]
"Another summer blockbuster where the Americans save the world (again). This time it’s a group of oil drillers who, in record time, become astronauts and shoot off into space to save us all. Yawn."
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace [DVD] [1999]
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace [DVD] [1999]
"Three words: "Jar Jar Binks"."
Rambo: First Blood Part II [DVD] [1985]
Rambo: First Blood Part II [DVD] [1985]
"Not just a disappointing blockbuster, but a crap sequel to boot.  To be fair, it does contain an unintentionally hilarious moment when Rambo gives his, “we love America” speech at the end!"
The Beach [2000] [DVD]
The Beach [2000] [DVD]
"The only disappointing thing to come out of this movie is that it didn’t kill off DiCrapio’s movie career. Still, we have evidence that he appeared in this turkey, so I’m happy"
The Avengers [DVD] [1998]
The Avengers [DVD] [1998]
"Proof that not all TV shows can be adapted into great movies.  A bit like the Beverley Hillbillies and The Addams Family come to think of it…….they all stink."
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [DVD] [2003]
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre [DVD] [2003]
"These “MTV Generation” remakes of classic horror movies really bore the pants of me.  At least this one didn’t disappoint."
Back To The Future: Part 2 [DVD]
Back To The Future: Part 2 [DVD]
"Those who love this movie explain it’s flaws by citing, “all the loose ends are tied up in part 3”. That’s no consolation for someone who saw it at the cinema and spent over a year saying, “WTF?!”"
The Village [DVD] [2004]
The Village [DVD] [2004]
"Was there really anyone who didn’t figure out what’s really happening in the movie before M. Night Shyamalan saw fit to reveal it to the viewer?  A total waste of time from a normally good director"
Grease 2 [DVD]
Grease 2 [DVD]
"The granddaddy of all turkeys!  Crappy-de-crap-crap-crap!"
Wild Wild West (widescreen version) [DVD] [1999]
Wild Wild West (widescreen version) [DVD] [1999]
"Yes, I know this movie was never meant to be taken seriously, but you can only stretch the fantasy concept so far before it becomes an unintentional joke.  Bad to the core."
Charlie's Angels/Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle [DVD] [2003]
Charlie's Angels/Charlie's Angels 2: Full Throttle [DVD] [2003]
"As far as eye candy goes, Barrymore, Diaz and Liu make both movies bearable.  Sadly, they don’t prevent either movie from making this list."
Hulk [DVD] [2003]
Hulk [DVD] [2003]
"He may be old and a bit flabby nowadays, but I’d have Lou Ferrigno (the original Hulk) over that dumb CGI creation any day of the week.  I say we start a petition to ban CGI’s in movies."
The Blair Witch Project [DVD] [1999]
The Blair Witch Project [DVD] [1999]
"BWP might’ve been a surprise blockbuster hit in 1999 but that can be put down to the fact a movie like that had rarely been made before. Watch it now and realise just how bad it is."
Braveheart [1995] [DVD]
Braveheart [1995] [DVD]
"Factually incorrect throughout (the majority of the movie was shot in Ireland too), this is Hollywood’s interpretation of what Scottish history is all about. And people believe it too."
Battlefield Earth [DVD]
Battlefield Earth [DVD]
"Maybe “Grease 2” isn’t the worst blockbuster ever.  This movie, however, is equally crappy-de-crap-crap-crap though."
Fantastic Four (Single Disc Edition) [DVD]
Fantastic Four (Single Disc Edition) [DVD]
"Probably the only movie where I’ve stood up during it and said “This is terrible. I want to go home.” but nooooo, I had to sit through it."
The Day After Tomorrow - Single Disc Edition [2004] [DVD]
The Day After Tomorrow - Single Disc Edition [2004] [DVD]
"Why can’t there be a (natural) disaster movie where everyone dies?  Because until there is, we’ll all watch these movies knowing everything will come good in the end."