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Turkey Season (Part Three): Some Of The Worst Action Flicks
Cynical and Critical
Rambo III [DVD] 
"I liked “First Blood” because it didn’t push the boundaries of realism too far. Part 2 was just too much. Part 3 sees Rambo make the entire US Army redundant by taking on entire armies himself"
XXX - Box Set [DVD]
"Vin Diesel or his “Zander” alter-ego is like watching a pale imitation of a certain 007. Think “James Bond on steroids” and hey, you won’t be disappointed. Then again, you will be disappointed."
Robocop 3 [DVD] 
"When a movie is given the dreaded “straight to video” status, even the movie company that made it concedes it’s not very good. They were wrong. Robocop 3 is unbelievably bad."
Barb Wire [DVD]
"Some people need to know their limitations. Pammy is great in movies where she’s either eye candy or doing stuff her mother would die from watching. Acting is just not her forte."
Cobra [DVD] 
"I can’t help thinking maybe this kind of movie could’ve been done much better. Oh wait, Clint Eastwood made five “Dirty Harry” movies that stood head and shoulders above this turkey."
Ready to Rumble [DVD]  [Region 1] [US Import] [NTSC]
"It’s universally agreed that wrestlers can’t act in movies. It’s also written in stone that movies about wrestling suck. This movie doesn’t break that mould. So bad, critics think it’s a comedy."
From Dusk Till Dawn 3 - The Hangman's Daughter [DVD] 
"Even if the concept was already stale by the time part 2 ended, the producers decided to make a prequel to try and squeeze even more money out of this lifeless franchise."
The Hitcher  (Special Edition) [DVD]
"What started out as a good movie (the first 15 minutes) turned into a pale imitation of Spielberg’s “Duel”. This movie promised so much yet delivered so little. Shame."
Commando  [DVD]
"Arnie’s attempt to create himself a “Rambo” character (and probably dreamt of turning this movie into a franchise). Thankfully it didn’t turn out like that. Doesn’t excuse this dire effort though."
Die Hard With A Vengeance [DVD] 
"Not a turkey per se, but when you compare it with the other “Die Hard” movies (not forgetting pondering about just how unlucky one man can be), you see DHWAV for what it is. Poor."
Red Dawn [DVD]
"Oh dear! Yet another movie where a bunch of inept Americans (this time, the Brat Pack) take on the might of the Soviet Army and win the day for the red, white and blurghhh."
Mad Max 3 - Beyond Thunderdome (1985) [DVD]
"It’s bewildering that a better-than-average movie franchise could produce a dire instalment such as this. And Tina Turner should never be allowed to act again!"
The Specialist [DVD] 
"Be honest, would anyone have been upset if the movie ended prematurely with the bad guys winning and both Stallone and Stone dying in an explosion or in a hail of bullets?"
Death Race 2000 [DVD]
"Only three words are needed to describe this movie: “What”, “The”, and a word Amazon won’t allow me to use. Oh, and surprise, surprise, the movie features Sylvester Stallone."
Snatch - Two Disc Set [DVD] 
"Maybe this movie doesn’t deserve “turkey” status, but it didn’t stop me or countless other movie fans leaving the cinema thinking Guy Ritchie was trying to remake “Lock, Stock & Two Smoking Barrels""
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones [DVD] 
"For goodness sake, all we wanted to see was the scene where Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader. Why waste our time with two (prequel) movies building up to the inevitable finale?"
The Matrix Trilogy : Matrix / Matrix Reloaded / Matrix Revolutions (3 Disc Box Set) [DVD]
"Who cares about this pseudo-intellectual and ‘so-confusing-even-the-writers-can’t-explain-it’ guff? Life is too short to waste time trying to figure out movies that try to be something they ain’t."
Alexander - Director's Cut [DVD] 
"A movie to put on when you go out if you want potential burglars to think there’s someone home. Lets face it, you wouldn’t really want to watch it willingly, would you?"
The Fast & The Furious/2 Fast 2 Furious/The Fast & The... [DVD]
"As exciting as watching Formula One. Oh, and if you want to watch a great car chase sequence, try “Bullit” with Steve McQueen or the one from “The Blues Brothers”. Much better than these turkeys."
28 Days Later (2002) [DVD]
"With the state of British athletics in the way that it is, I say we find some of those super-fast zombies and sign them up to our Olympic team. Surely some good must come out of this movie?"
Snakes on a Plane [DVD]
"More people have seen this movie drunk than they have sober. And that’s a fact."
King Kong [DVD]  (2 Disc Special Edition)
"Like “The Hulk”, don’t you just hate it when a director – remaking a movie we’ve all seen – drags out the beginning of the movie when all we want to see is the action. This movie is boring."
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