Top positive review
40 people found this helpful
Refreshingly user friendly
on 16 December 2001
Not really ground breaking, but a refreshingly readable and user friendly book, clearly written for parents. The book is written in an unpretentious manner and acknowledges that not all discipline methods work the same with all children. Many proven techniques are explained with the emphasis on developing a childs personal skills, shutting down negative behaviour, and maintainng parental authority.
Clever (and often humorously unrelated to parenting) analogies made the authors points clear to understand in a lighthearted way.
The book explains why praising and charts/rewards systems are so ineffective with defiant children. Also provided are many helpful scripts and phrases that are useful in shutting down arguing and badgering.
I liked how it was stressed to use empathy and sadness when using consequences (as opposed to anger) making them much more effective. One problem I had though, was that most of the consequences described seemed to involve forcing the child to do something. With non-compliance it is sometimes easier to take something away than to try and force an un-cooperative child to accomplish something.
The book also reminds parents that even the best discipline methods are completely ineffective without first building a strong relationship with your child.
Some other good books with similar philosophies are: "The Manipulative Child: How to Regain Control and Raise Resilient, Resourceful, and Independent Kids", Setting Limits" by Robert J MacKenzie, and "Parenting the Strong-Willed Child".
"Try and Make Me" is an excellent and very encouraging book, well worth reading.