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Too Nice for Your Own Good (Gemstar)

4.2 out of 5 stars 41 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Hardcover
  • Publisher: Oxmoor House (Oct. 2000)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0759500177
  • ISBN-13: 978-0759500174
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (41 customer reviews)

Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
Being a nice and generous person is universally a beautiful thing but unfortunately it does not always pay off in our society. People easily abuse, take advantage or even often do not take you serious. This is very sad but unfortunately part of reality. This book does not tell you to be a bad person or to completely change the way you are towards other people, it simply does underline certain self destructive insecurities, beliefs and attitudes which so called nice people often carry within them. It is well written and illuminates psychological conflicts that nice people often struggle with. Rather than giving the advise to completely change, this book successfully transfers the meaning that being nice and good is a beautiful characteristic but it has to be in the right context and it has to be within certain limitations so that the nice person does not destruct himself but can respect and understand himself in a better way. It tells you to know when it is right to be nice and when not because in the long run, if you merely comfort others than yourself than you will be deeply unsatisfied and this will lead to a chain of unhappy events for you and the people around you.
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Format: Paperback
The book is just AMAZING, irreplaceable masterpiece for a person having lots of inner discussions why this or that happens in his/ her social life with friends family and work colleagues! It is what everyone needs in order to be happy if they have some little or large social 'miscommunication s'.
I was wondering where I was before not to get the book earlier! It changes your life because it WILL give you a deep insight into all your social problems,misunderstandings, etc (you name it),the roots where they come from.One can shout out loud EURECA when reading the book!!
I eventually realized the reasons for my anxieties, insecurities, lack of self esteem and confidence,-such a commons factors for nearly everyone. Now I understand!! I eventually realized what was it all about in my life,why I was the way I was and why others are the way they are. The book gives you so much understanding that you start to gain an insight straight from reading the the first page...and changing.
Thanks to the author writing such a masterpiece on self-help! A person does not need any psychologist or psychotherapist,- he can just get all he needs from this book -an inner change ,an insight, how to break free, how to deal with 'it'(and go out to try one's knowledge what he learned from it:) )...
The book is easy to read and well to understand. Delivery from Amazon was quick, like always, without any problems.
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Format: Paperback
It's a useful book.

9 mistakes that nice people make, including: trying to be perfect; taking on too much; not saying what YOU want; suppressing your anger; giving advice.

We're brought up to be nice to people, to put them first, to think of others. You hold doors open for people, and they don't even thank you for it; you lovingly clean the house but everyone else just leaves their mess for you to deal with. Your niceness encourages them to take advantage of you. Being nice to them doesn't make them be nice to you.

The chapter on learning to STOP giving advice is particularly helpful. You give advice because you want to help people: however, it often backfires on you. Learn how to give INFORMATION instead of advice. You'll still be nice, but you won't be imposing your will on others.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This isn't a book for those who are shy and lack confidence or make themselves victims and doormats. This is designed to make you see your faults about being too pushy, giving unrequested advice and generally being a bit of a well-meaning bossyboots. The author is a preacher and tells us not to tell others what they should and should not do. He then proceeds to do just that very thing over the next few hundred pages. It didn't make him very popular with me. So there - he's RIGHT. Which he knows he always is anyway. On the last page, he tells you to tell other people about what a marvellous book this is so that they will buy it too....

Feeling a bit low even though you are good to others? Dale Carnegie's classic, "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is a better, light-hearted book that won't preach and make you feel worse. There! I have TOLD you something, which I am not meant to do or it might make me unpopular! But I hope it helps you.

I sold my copy of "Too Nice" and was glad to be rid of it. One star for the nice cover.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
In a time when I was exhausted by the multitudinous tasks I had taken on, and being taken advantage of I decided to read this book. It took a long time to get to the point, and the writer had a stress heart attack and lost his dog along the way.

Not an easy book to get into, and the advice when I finally found it was sound. Just say no.

Written by an American preacher it doesn't easily translate into British life.
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Format: Paperback
I found this to be a very positive book. It does not aim for us to break relationships which are difficult or destructive, but realistically guides us to managing relationships with difficult people (who may be important to us). When reading this book, look out for the little admonishing remarks which can be painfull for the too nice a person I suppose, but which, if taken as a lesson, will help us become an easier, nicer person.
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