ToddlerCalm: A guide for calmer toddlers and happier parents Paperback – 3 Oct 2013
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I welcome this book as a sensitive antidote to the alternatives. It is not advocating permissive or authoritarian care, it is a paean to the glorious fun and joy which can result from understanding your toddler, seeing it from their point of view, and then gently nudging them towards maturity (Oliver James)
Everything you say in the book really resonates with the way we hope we will parent (Dame Sarah Storey)
I like the fact that ToddlerCalm is written in a non-judgemental way. It offers support and guidance to parents and I find myself dipping in and out of it for advice and reassurance. I can really relate to the personal stories and love the quotes throughout.
The section on Avoiding Difficult Situations got me thinking about all of the times I dreaded 'circle time' at the various parent/toddler groups I went to. If I had read this book first I wouldn't have felt the need to persevere and my toddler and I would have happily pottered at home instead of feeling we always had to be so busy!
A new, empowering guide for parents of 1-4 year olds, based on the successful ToddlerCalm parenting classes which aim to help parents confidently enjoy the first years with their child.See all Product Description
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Top Customer Reviews
The science on offer is broken down and explained in a way anyone can understand, but that's not to say it's "dumbed down", it isn't. It's explained clearly and succinctly so anyone can read it, understand it, absorb it and put it to use in your life. Most importantly, it makes you think! It also, again very clearly, is lay out what is normal for a toddler; it may not be societies idea of a 'good' toddler (i.e. compliant, quiet etc) but it's just normal. Reading that is incredibly reassuring and alleviates all kinds of parental stress and anxiety.
What it doesn't do it 1) claim to know your child 2) give you a list of do's and don'ts, which if you can't achieve makes you feel like a failure and 3) set up your toddler and some kind of adversary (the impression I get from many 'child experts') who's out to ruin your life.
If you have a toddler, get it. If you have a baby who's around 1, get it. Arm yourselves with knowledge, and knowledge derived from science not habit and authority.
I have found this book a joy to read in the sense that it encourages the reader to look at the world from the toddler perspective. It is a big, scary world and most of what they do is trying to cope with this. This book has helped me to see this and how, often, it is my behaviour that needs adjusting and not theirs.
Just giving them a little more choice (within limits) and engaging in more creative and 'free' play where they lead has meant for more peaceful episodes.
I would definitely recommend this if you parent a toddler. Just understanding that they are not mini adults helps you to overcome the daily, hourly (!) battles.
It's very readable, but I did find the CRUCIAL acronym annoyingly contrived, and could have done without the constant suggestion that all parents behave in various ways that I have never done! Ultimately I don't think it changed the way I parent at all, but observing other parents, I can see that it will certainly be useful to a lot of people.
The contents are roughly as follows:
- 'Who do I want my toddler to be?' - this is all about the fact that when you are parenting you are playing the long game, discussing the development of empathy, confidence and independence, curiosity and a desire to learn, and commitment and ambition, saying things like e.g. the way to develop empathy is to exhibit compassion your self, the way to develop independence is to allow more dependence when younger etc.
- 'Why toddlers are not mini adults' - this is the 'science' chapter and talks about synaptic pruning, the triune brain theory, Piaget including his three mountains experiment, and Bandura's bobo doll. The basic message is that the early years are important and there is stuff that toddlers' brains just aren't biologically capable of yet.
- 'The science of toddler sleep' - this basically says to accept that toddlers sleep badly. Only practical advice is to get to bed early, get blackout blinds and have a nice bedtime ritual.Read more ›
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Only a couple of chapters in, but it has been so helpful so far. Highly recommend!Published 1 month ago by Amy w.
An easy to read, sensible book on parenting toddlers. Reminding us that we often expect too much of our little people and they are experiencing so many emotions. Read morePublished 2 months ago by nicola
Only started reading but from what I've read and more importantly how I feel and act towards my toddler , it is proving to be a very good buy, highly recommendedPublished 3 months ago by Zombie Chicken
Great book that makes you realise that our expectations are too high for our toddlers when their brain is still not fully developed, so insightful I could not put it down.Published 3 months ago by Mrs. J. L. Hinds
Fast delivery and the book was brand new. Having read the first couple of chapters I have already learnt a lot! Looking forward to reading the rest!Published 4 months ago by Samantha Greer
Teaches you to respect your toddler and to understand their tantrums. It helps u to respond in a way that really works!Published 6 months ago by Pyrrfvb