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ToddlerCalm: A guide for calmer toddlers and happier parents Paperback – 3 Oct 2013

4.7 out of 5 stars 95 customer reviews

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Frequently bought together

  • ToddlerCalm: A guide for calmer toddlers and happier parents
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  • The Gentle Parenting Book: How to raise calmer, happier children from birth to seven
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  • The Gentle Discipline Book: How to raise co-operative, polite and helpful children
Total price: £33.06
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Product details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Piatkus (3 Oct. 2013)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0349401055
  • ISBN-13: 978-0349401058
  • Product Dimensions: 15.2 x 2.2 x 23.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (95 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 7,796 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product description

Review

I welcome this book as a sensitive antidote to the alternatives. It is not advocating permissive or authoritarian care, it is a paean to the glorious fun and joy which can result from understanding your toddler, seeing it from their point of view, and then gently nudging them towards maturity (Oliver James)

Everything you say in the book really resonates with the way we hope we will parent (Dame Sarah Storey)

I like the fact that ToddlerCalm is written in a non-judgemental way. It offers support and guidance to parents and I find myself dipping in and out of it for advice and reassurance. I can really relate to the personal stories and love the quotes throughout.
The section on Avoiding Difficult Situations got me thinking about all of the times I dreaded 'circle time' at the various parent/toddler groups I went to. If I had read this book first I wouldn't have felt the need to persevere and my toddler and I would have happily pottered at home instead of feeling we always had to be so busy!

(Nell McAndrew, model and marathon runner)

Book Description

A new, empowering guide for parents of 1-4 year olds, based on the successful ToddlerCalm parenting classes which aim to help parents confidently enjoy the first years with their child.

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
As mum to a recently turned 18m old I was looking for advice on 'training' my toddler. I came across this book on Amazon and couldn't be happier: it completely altered my point of view.

The book's main point is to try to see the world through your toddler's eyes. They have so little control and are still struggling to grasp concepts like time. By listening and thinking about how they may be feeling, you can avoid full blown tantrums (although it explains how these are developmentally normal).

The book offers scientific background to support its theories which it needs as this goes against the grain of modern parenting. It is not patronising and is very clear that it is not recommending permissive parenting where your child can do as they please, but equally encourages the reader to let go of their need to control.

I'd recommend this to any parent struggling with their little one. For those who've followed things like 'baby led-weaning' this supports that and helps you to think about your attitude to food if your toddler becomes a fussy eater.

A supportive and eye-opening book. I'm enjoying applying the theories with my strong willed little girl who thrives on choice and being treated with respect. A must-read!
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A lovely book. I'm more to the attachment parenting side, so this confirms beliefs I already held. I read it and wanted so very much to be a "toddler calm" parent. The only slight issue is, having read the book, I'm not much the wiser as to how I can achieve that. It very much leaves it up to the parents as to how they will go about it, which did disappoint me somewhat.
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What every parent of a toddler should read. Makes you realise the things which annoy you, really shouldn't and it's all normal toddler behavior and it's just your perspective that has to change.
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I bought this after someone recommended it on Facebook. I have 26 month old twin boys who are the lights of my life but are just entering the black hole of none-compliance and screaming/throwing frustrated tantrums (the last because we weren't going to the Post Office?!) that seems to characterise toddlerdom. The information about toddler brain development and their lack of comprehension of consequences was really helpful to me, I realise they cannot share nor care about anyone else's feelings. Has it stopped them from hurling toys across the room and bouncing on each other's heads? Nope. Have I stopped pleading with them to share/stop throwing/don't be noisy..Yes. Knowing I can't make them understand and that I am [probably] not raising the next Ronnie and Reggie Kray has made me much less stressed, and when Mum is relaxed she can simply give on-lookers a benign smile whilst her boys lie screaming on the floor outside the Post Office safe in the knowledge that hissing 'Stop It!' isn't the answer.
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I haven't read the whole book yet but so far the first half of the book is too vague and not directive enough. The concept of understanding why a toddler behaves the way they do and trying to put yourself in their shoes is great but sometimes as a parents it's quite nice having a bit of direction with little tips on how to react to your child. Little tips on what to say to them. How to teach them to be safe. It seems to imply that you must just keep everything you don't want your child to do out of reach but that's not always practical outside of the home so sometimes you need to teach them the boundaries of safe and unsafe. Perhaps it is in the second half of the book but it hasn't motivated me enough to read that far yet. I will persevere! Also, being a scientist myself her counterarguments for evidence against her teachings and the example of evidence she uses are inadequate.
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So much better than most of the other advice out there for raising toddlers. One of the key differences is that the author really knows her stuff & isn't just pedalling "quick fixes" that generate positive publicity, it's based on understanding the psychology & neuroscience behind it all & keeping long term goals in mind rather than looking for solutions that might get short term results but can have disastrous long term implications. It encourages you to treat your toddler like a lovable human being who just hasn't learnt some of the skills required for self control etc yet, rather than treating them as an inconvenience, a wild animal, an idiot, a manipulative little psychopath, or any of the other ways toddlers are sometimes talked about!

Too many of the popular parenting authors promise miracles but in order to achieve them they require you to communicate to your child that they are "bad" if they don't comply with your behavioural standards, that your love for them is conditional, that it is only worth working hard if you get a reward at the end of it, that their parents aren't reliable as a source of comfort & security, that emotions are "bad" & should be suppressed, and that being "good" is about avoiding getting into trouble rather than doing what is morally right. Think about what kind of adult results from a child who develops those beliefs about themselves and the world.
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