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Three in a Bed: The Benefits of Sleeping with Your Baby Paperback – 7 Jul 2003
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'A practical guide on how to get some sleep when there is always a little person around during the night' -- Mother
'An impeccably researched rulebook for the thoroughly modern mother ... lively, impressive' -- Daily Mail
'Draws on startling medical and historical evidence' -- Daily Star
'Jackson provides intellectual justification for what we already instinctively felt was right' -- The Times Magazine
'Read this book before you have your baby if you can - if not, read it anyway' -- Australia's Parents
Only since Victorian times has it been standard practice for mothers and fathers to send their babies to sleep alone, away from the parental bed - often in another room. This book reveals how babies who sleep with their parents benefit by getting virtually a full night's sleep. The author explains the advantages of this radical form of baby care, including its benefits for breastfeeding mothers, reviews the history of babies in the bed and, through interviews with parents, explores attitudes to the idea. The book also contains a fresh perspective on the tragedy of cot death, as well as practical advice on how to sustain your sex life, hints on safety in the bed, answers to all the common objections and dealing with the moment when the baby leaves its parents' bed.See all Product description
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I have battled for over a year to help my now 16 month old sleep for more than 2 hours in his own bed. Trying various methods by well known baby guru nanny types, even though my instincts told me otherwise. He resisted everything with full force and I was left frustrated, exhausted and feeling like a failure. More often than not I would 'give up' and break the taboo and (whispers) 'let him sleep in our bed... Shhhh' . Funnily enough the second he is next to me, he sleeps through the night, deeply and peacefully. Almost like he was meant to?!
So this book kind of told me what I deep down already knew: Babies were designed to sleep near their mothers. Phew!!!!
The author backs up her arguments with many many quotes and studies. Not so bad a year down the line but may be hard to concentrate if you are sleep deprived!! I recommend Elizabeth Pantley's 'No cry sleep solution' if you need something a bit less meaty but practical.
I really liked the way she quoted various celebs and other parents about their co sleeping practices. I felt less alone in my choice. As so few parents in my acquaintance practice it (or are willing to admit they do!) or are dead against it.
What I also love and found so refreshing was the analysis of our western baby rearing practices. With comparisons to many other cultures, the reader slowly sees how we have been brainwashed into believing that our way is the only way to bring up baby. When we actually look at some of our practices in the light of much of the studies/history/evidence Jackson presents, it does make you question 'What on earth we are doing?' (From the cosy warm womb straight to a cold barred cot anyone?!)
I think I will be dipping into this book over and over, just to regain some perspective away from our 'push them to independence as soon as we cut the cord' culture.
My only regret is I did not read this when I was pregnant. Back then I had NO idea how overwhelming the advice from all angles would be;deafening and confusing my mothering instincts.
4 stars has been given because I feel that bottle feeding parents may feel their nose being put out of joint. I know breast is best but I nearly couldn't do it and I have countless friends who are heartbroken that they could not. (The author addresses this modern phenomenon in the book too which was fascinating.)
Babies sleeping on their own and in their own room is a social construct and I felt the pressure to do this the first time round - after reading this book I understand more about how babies are meant to sleep.
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