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Three in a Bed : The Benefits of Sleeping with Your Baby Paperback – 25 Feb 1999

4.6 out of 5 stars 14 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 312 pages
  • Publisher: Bloomsbury Publishing PLC; 2nd Revised edition edition (25 Feb. 1999)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0747542953
  • ISBN-13: 978-0747542957
  • Product Dimensions: 20.2 x 14.6 x 2.4 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,534,973 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

Amazon Review

Current Western parenting advice, says Deborah Jackson, stresses the need to minimise the "bother" that children cause; Jackson claims that this culture views the child as a potentially dominating personality that could undermine parental authority when older and emphasises that this tendency needs to be trained out of them early. The author disputes the scientific basis for such claims, and such a culture, and appeals to parents to trust their own instincts. Using extensive research she puts the case for a child-orientated approach to parenting.

This book is controversial, thought-provoking, carefully researched and passionately argued. It is extremely interesting, and, even if you don't accept all her conclusions, will definitely prompt the reader to reassess their own expectations of the parent-child relationship. --Alison Jardine

Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
I was lent this book during my pregnancy and at first was very sceptical - I'd always had the idea that I'd bring up my child to learn independence from an early age. Sharing a bed with a baby would be making a rod for my own back. How narrow-minded I discovered I was. This book has completely convinced me that co-sleeping is the best for everyone and given me a new perspective on the needs of my baby. How can we argue against 1000's of years of experience, after 9 months in the womb of course a baby will scream the house down if left alone in another room. I've read it over and over again. Thank you Deborah Jackson for teaching me one of the most important lessons of my life. Mum's-to-be go buy it, it's such an interesting book culturally apart from anything else. Don't remain ignorant, widen your views on babycare. Can't recommend highly enough.
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Format: Paperback
I know various families who have bedshared with their children, and none of them have experienced the problems described by the reader from London.In fact, quite the opposite - increased independence, feeling of security and closeness as a family. As Deborah Jackson points out, bedsharing does not automatically make all the other problems a family might have, disappear. It is simply a way of giving your children one thing they need. We are the only creatures on earth who separate ourselves from our young.
Every day I see crying babies, alone in their prams, who are calm and happy once picked up and in the arms of their parent. We too have bedshared with our baby, having had no 'broken nights' yet. She is a bright, strong, confident and happy child, who at nearly eight months is crawling everywhere and pulling herself up to stand. She is incredibly sociable and quite easily falls asleep without a feed or cuddle if she really wants to.
This book is inspiring and thoughtful, and worth a read no matter what you decide to do in the end, as although it is passionate in it's argument, it is very balanced and well researched.
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Format: Paperback
This book really challenges the modern ideals behind parenting. My grandmother believes firmly that babies should be made to get used to sleeping on their own in a dark room. Deborah Jackson tells us the opposite, and provides research and evidence to back up her opinions. As a health care professional and graduate, I am trained to not take things at face value and I now totally believe that this is the only way to care for babies. Jackson's way of writing is kind and non-prescriptive and totally non-disapproving of parents who might not want to follow her advice. She emphasises the fact that she does not want to be yet another baby care author, but someone who brings to our attention the way babies are meant to be brought up if we consider nature to be the 'right' way.
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By A Customer on 12 Mar. 2001
Format: Paperback
I ordered this book after reading a review of it in the Oxford NCT newsletter which is sent out to me here in Portugal. I'd already bought, sanded down and repainted a second-hand cot by the time I was four months pregnant, but then after reading this book decided not to use it. I agree with all the reviews shown above - a fantastic book, and one that will show you how to get enough sleep to survive and thrive as a new mother. The one point I'd like to make is that you sleep better if you actually take your baby in bed with you, nestled in the crook of your arm or whatever, and don't do as I do which was to have the baby sleeping on a pillow next to me on the bed. When she woke up I of course woke up before her and fed her straight away without actually getting out of bed, but as far as my baby was concerned, she may as well have been in a cot, as she didn't have much contact with me as she lay on that pillow (though she could hear me breathing, at least). Also, I sat up to feed her with the pillow on my lap, which meant that I became fully awake, and was a zombie during the day. We also had to walk our baby round and round for ages, trying to get her to fall asleep so that she'd stay asleep when we put her on her pillow, as she would usually wake up when I moved the pillow off my lap after a feed. When my baby was 2 months old, a friend came to stay who slept with her baby right in the bed with her. This gave me courage to do the same, and the next day I woke up refreshed, and haven't looked back since. Deborah Jackson Does NOT say to put your baby on a pillow - that was me being a nervous nelly - but I'm writing this anyway just in case anyone is making the same mistake as me!Read more ›
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Format: Paperback
The worst thing about baby care/how to be a good parent books is that your baby does not read them! British parenting advice is all about routines along army camp lines with rigidity at every level. If your baby settles to these - great, but if your baby follows its basic evolutionary urges for company and hates to be alone in a darkened room, this book reassures parents that their instincts to be a good parent and hold their baby, touch it and comfort it on demand is both natural and something to be encouraged. Discipline can be introduced later over important things like not hitting your friends, not having the latest playstation. Learning discipline by crying yourself to sleep was something both my husband and I found deeply upsetting and the most abhorrent of all advice we were given as new parents. This book is much more in tune with us as parents and our baby son. Try it, if it works for you it's a delight, if not, try something that suits you and your baby better.
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