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They Were Still Born: Personal Stories About Stillbirth Hardcover – 16 Dec 2010
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As is true for all obstetricians, I was confronted with the reality of stillbirth early on in my career. Nothing prepares mothers for this potentially devastating experience. The process must be shared and grieved if the wounds are to fully heal. They Were Still Born helps this process enormously. This collection is beautiful, moving, and healing. -- Christiane Northrup, M.D., OB-GYN; author of the New York Times bestselling Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom and The Wisdom of Menopause These courageous, moving accounts from the fierce front lines of infant loss are filled with rare beauty and insistent love. They Were Still Born will help heal the bereaved and illuminate a culture that has for too long closed its eyes to the pain and devastation of stillbirth. A tour de force. -- Lorraine Ash, author of Life Touches Life: A Mother's Story of Stillbirth and Healing The nearly two-dozen-chapter book's authors include a wide variety of men and women - a bereavement specialist, an obstetrician, a staff writer for The Washington Post, a registered nurse, a professor, an anthropologist, and more, all of whom share their experiences...In addition to the poignant essays, They Were Still Born includes a section called "The Way Forward," which features ideas for honoring and remembering your baby and engaging in creative expressions of grief. It also includes chapters on what doctors currently know about stillbirth, as well as emerging research on the topic. There is also a 10-page listing of resource books for adults and children, support networks, blogs and more. Delaware Online There is useful information about the need for more autopsies following stillbirth and better data collection to assist with research into 'unexplained' stillbirth. Overall, this book should be a valuable resource not only for mothers grieving for a stillborn child, but also for their partners, relatives, and the wider community. The Lancet
About the Author
Janel Atlas is a writer and editor whose work has appeared in various regional and national publications. Since her daughter's stillbirth, in 2006, Atlas has written extensively about pregnancy and infant loss. She now lives in Delaware with her husband, two daughters and one son.
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The intense pain of losing a child though is the same, and I devoured every page of this book. I nodded my head as I read parts that described perfectly experiences and feelings I've struggled to put into words. I read aloud parts to my husband that I wanted to underline by speaking them, and of course I cried, but my overwhelming feeling while reading, and now having finished the book is one of hope.
My daughter died almost 18 months ago, after the first year of intense grief society expects "closure", especially if,like me you have been lucky enough to deliver a healthy child since your loss. Any bereaved parent can tell you this is not how it works, but reading this book gave me permission to not be "all better", but it also gave me hope. Reading essays from parents at different stages of their loss has helped me to face the future, but also to feel proud of my daughter. It's a process, this grief, and a book can't cure,(there is no cure) but it can be part of the process.
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
I appreciated that the multiple authors' perspectives will allow readers to connect to at least one, and probably many, of the essays. I felt like I could have been friends with many of the women if I met them in real life. We should all be so lucky to have a circle of girlfriends like them from which we can draw emotional support during the bleak times everyone encounters.
If you're reeling from a miscarriage or stillbirth yourself, or if you're just trying to understand it better so you can be a support to someone who has, this book is incredibly worthwhile. It is an act of generosity that the authors have shared their stories.
For anyone who has lost a baby to stillbirth, no matter what the gestation, birth order or how long ago it was - you will find immense comfort in this touching book.
Comes very highly recommended, though I am sorry for anyone who has reason to buy this book.