Straightforward and sensible. I have read a number of parenting books but the more I read the more confused I have become. I feel like I have finally read something that doesn't go against every instinct in me. The only reason I've dropped a star is that in my opinion he is a little harsh sometimes. I want to think good things about my children, not assume the worst.
Although John Rosemond has a lengthy career in child psychology the emphasis within this book is that ALL children are naughty and they require training much like domesticated pets. “Punishment is every bit as necessary to raising a well-behaved child as weeding is to growing a successful garden.” This set alarm bells off. "weeds" nice comparison.
"Wilful children"... as the mother of a child who comes under this title the recommendations from this piece of tripe seemed only to be to squash her will and mould it into the one I had decided she would be. Yes my daughter is the one who will throw herself on the floor in Tescos and scream. I find just walking away from her the most effective technique then later we have a little chat and it ends with an impy smile that I would not change for the world.
He states that there is nothing wrong with smacking your child provided you do so in a calm manner, repeatedly telling the child why you are in smacking their bare bottom. How cool and calculated you must seem as you strip your child and prepare to inflict shame and pain on their little bottoms. He goes as far to recommend smacking their bare skin with your hand so you can judge how much pain you are inflicting on your child. Inflicting pain on someone a quarter of your size to teach them right from wrong just does not compute and is desperation. Although the basis of his book makes sense, such as: structure, routine, boundaries should form the basics of any child's life. I find many of his ideas repugnant and belittling. Young children should eat alone at their own table because they are young? Why because they are little? What is the reason for this. He recommends using the term "because I said so". If I wanted my daughter to learn the ways of sheep then I would employ these farm based techniques. Baaaaaaaa.
He heavily criticises people who co-sleep with their children. I respect that this arrangement is not for everyone but Mr Rosemond makes parents to who do support this arrangement sound like sissy namby pamby crazy people. Cheers but you try the weeks when a small baby cries non stop until you start to hallucinate through sleep depravation, whilst your breasts leak all over the bed, until I let her sleep next to me and she felt safe and got a routine of sleeping. Co sleeping worked for me. My three year old isn't clingy or demented she is really independent. Her first day at nursery school she strolled in sat down and started to get right in, no crying.
There are so many things about this book that I do not like I don't have the energy to list them.
The fact that this book is a top seller saddens me. There are other more positive approaches to teach the ways of the world to your children. I am going to shred and recycle this book rather than burden any other parent with its backdated, boring, mindless approach to creating a stunted and resentful child. Thank you but no thanks.
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