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The Vampire Diarias
on 20 April 2015
This is like watching a train smash in slow motion. You know exactly what is going to happen, because it's running on big strong tracks, with scheduled stops, and no unexpected deviations. So ... what should take a microsecond, instead takes 22 episodes, at 45 minutes a piece.
The characters are teenagers ... that talk with impeccable middle aged rebellion. Perfectly premeditated arguments, illogical, witty, sarcastic, yet politically correct, emancipated, well adjusted, mature, innocent, naive, but profoundly wise, teenagers.
Teenagers that party so hard & drink excessively .. without getting drunk, and just in time to have a well coordinated fist fight, before exchanging love letters and bedtime cuddles. Oh and they all have an unlimited capacity for gullibility in addition to unlimited funds for new cars.
It's cliche. In every sense. Contrived, coincidental and uninspired. Like elevator music.
I have NEVER watched a TV series with so many personal apologies, and absolutions of fault. This is the most common dialog pattern. "I ... I, I, I can't ... I am so sorry, I am a bad person", "It wasn't your fault, you mustn't blame your self. Oh and how are you doing?", "Hey I'm such a loner, and nobody understands me", "But ... I do!", "Whatever, like, maybe ... sorry I'm a duche", "It wasn't your fault ..." (step and repeat x 22)
If you want to watch original ideas for this genre here are some of my favourites:
LET THE RIGHT ONE IN (2008 Swedish) THIRST (2009), 30 DAYS of NIGHT (2007), NOSFERATU (1922)