on 12 August 1999
This is a GREAT book. I have a Ph.D. in psychology, but did not pick this book up out of academic interest. I picked it up when my husband of six years (partner of nine)decided to leave me and our 17-month old daughter for another woman and another life. As I began reading about the roles (of "symbiant" and countersymbiant")that members of a divorcing couple play, I started looking for the hidden cameras in my home- it was that accurate! As the separation between my husband and I continues, and the divorce process progresses, I find myself repeatedly reading the accounts of how the symbiant and countersymbiant each go through stages toward ultimately "letting go." This section offers invaluable understanding of what each of us is experiencing. For me, the sections on relationships ending in a love triangle are also very helpful. As someone trained to read synthesis and interpretation of psychological research findings, I find this a very accessible book. I would highly recommend this to clinicians, and to individuals who might find that taking an intellectual approach helps them cope with their own divorce experience.