When it comes to understanding people this book has provided a functional model of doing just that.
This book does a great job of explaining the difficulties and frustrations that arise from not understanding this simple model. I myself apply these concepts where-ever I can and it helps with everyday communication as well as developing instant rapport with new people.
I've also used some of the concepts in this book to try to explain to other people the potential source of their relationship problems with other people (work colleagues, bosses etc). And have found that this model to be useful in understanding my own position better, allowing me to develop new skills to be more effective when dealing with people I know or just met. (The downside it that there a couple of sections you can skip because those sections are teaching other people how to adapt from their own positions.)
This book changes your perspective on social interaction and reading this book will have a profound affect on the way you would otherwise deal with certain people. Most importantly it opens more doors when it comes to establishing relationships and confidence in ones ability to interact with other people.
The book itself is easy to read for all levels, and provides a lot of material to help you better understand how to apply this simple yet effective model in your life.
While there are many other books the describe similar models/concepts this book seems to be one of the better ones because it is more pragmatic and focuses more on how get results.
I would recommend this book to anyone who wants to be better at social interaction and dealing with others, especially introverts (like myself).
It provides an essential tool for developing/expanding your social abilities.
Tony Alessandra and Michael O'Connor acknowledge that the Golden Rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," has done much good in the world. They suggest, however, that it be superseded in business settings by their Platinum Rule: "Do unto others as they'd like done unto them." They make the case that treating others well requires understanding their way of seeing the world and how it differs from yours.
The book lays out a Myers-Briggs-like model of personality that is customized for the workplace. The social world is segmented into four types of people. "Directors" are firm and forceful, confident and competitive, decisive and determined risk-takers. "Socializers" are outgoing, optimistic, enthusiastic people who like to be at the center of things. "Relaters" are genial team players who like stability more than risk, and who care greatly about relationships with others. "Thinkers" are self-controlled and cautious, preferring analysis over emotion. Readers can distinguish between the four types by observing others' communication styles and where they focus their attention. Directors and Socializers both prefer open and direct communication, whereas Relaters and Thinkers are more reserved and indirect. Directors and Thinkers focus on work tasks, in contrast to Relaters and Socializers, who focus on people.
The first five chapters introduce the four personality types and teach readers how to recognize their characteristics in themselves and others. The remaining chapters explore personality's influence on how we "communicate and delegate tasks to, complement and correct, and motivate and counsel" our workplace colleagues. The authors clearly define each style and illustrate interactions between people with different styles. Examples are drawn from management, sales, customer service, team building and other common business interactions. The authors emphasize that their framework is heuristic, that few people operate "purely" from a single style in all situations.
I encountered this book in a Federal government leadership training class. The instructor made effective use of the authors' model in class exercises, convincing me that the book had something to offer. After reading it, I remain convinced. Readers who study personality in-depth may gain more from research based on the general Five-Factor model of personality (see, for example, Personality and Work: Reconsidering the Role of Personality in Organizations). But first-time supervisors and team leaders can take many practical lessons away from this book. And they will be well prepared for further honing of their leadership skills from an advanced guide, such as Management of Organizational Behavior (9th Edition) by Hersey, Blanchard and Johnson.
"As Chairman of the Bethel Institute, I recommend The Platinum Rule by Dr. Tony Alessandra, my clients all find it to be most useful. However, there is another dimension I'd like to suggest. I have six adult children and each is married. I have given the book to each one as a guide to a happier marriage. Tony has given us a tool to build relationships, understand ourselves, our partners and our children.
Our most important and endearing relationships are at home. It seems appropriate to have a book of this magnitude to guide us in our efforts to achieve a happier personal life." Sheila Murrary Bethel, Chairman, Bethel Institute, Author: Making A Difference, 12 Qualities That Make You A Leader
"From an HR point of view ,"personality" is the most dangerous word in business.From a sales point of view, "Personality" often makes the difference between sales success and sales failure. "The Platinum Rule" will teach you how to read personality and make it work for you in your career and your life. Get it now!"Thomas W. Faranda
The authors have reworked and improved upon the social styles model of David Merril (but haven't given him any credit that I could find). The book is easy to read and the strategies are practical and effective. Anyone who wants to work more effectively with others and get more enjoyment out of their relationships would benefit from reading this book.
The Platinum Rule provides powerful common-sense principles for building relationships. It is must reading for anyone who depends on others (and who doesn't?). George Morrisey, author, "Morrisey on Planning"
Sounds strange to say "Treat others as they wish to be treated" rather than "Treat others as you wish to be treated" but it makes sense. It also saves a lot of problems. If you wish to have a smoother working relationship with colleagues then this is the book for you. Anyone who has, or is going to have, a new boss should read this. Anyone who regularly interacts with others should read this. This book just makes social skills easier.