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The Hard Thing about Reading This Twaddle
on 14 January 2015
This is a book set firmly, despite desperately trying to appear otherwise, in the "entrepreneur as hero" genre. This guy really believes that he, and he alone, could make or break a company. Breathlessly he tells of how he faced "total destruction" and personal bankruptcy in one company he was involved with. Really? Not smart enough to invest any of your cash in your wife's name? He talks of putting "first things first", with his family firmly at the top of the value tree, and then blithely explains about twenty pages later how he left his (admittedly gorgeous, sexy, life and soul of any party, but level headed too) wife ill and near to death at home while he continued with an IPO roadshow. Of course, first he got his seriously ill (still sexy) wife on the 'phone to tell him she was alright with the decision. Sorted, eh? No doubt who was the "first thing first" in that situation then. But, when you have balls the size of Jupiter, there is no doubt who wears the trousers and a man has to do what a man has to do. After all, there are some of his - HIS - employees, people who rely on HIM to buy their kids shoes, who will be facing ruin if he can't pull off this IPO. (We know this, because two pages previously he has told us how he had to fire some of them. To preserve the bottom line,)
A cross between Indiana Jones and, possibly, Jesus, this man has it all. And that's just in the first thirty pages. Reading it, if you can suffer it, you are left in no doubt how these Silicon Valley swashbucklers changed the world. These guys could borrow a hundred million from the massively smart and credible bankers at Deutsche Bank just by the way they stood. (These are the same bankers, remember, who changed the world too in 2008, with their massive brains and intellect. And clearly the bankers knew a fellow Big Swinging Dick when they saw one. Or at least they recognised part of that phrase.)
Reading on, trying to ignore each chapter that begins with a quote from a rapper (bro') - I mean is this guy down with the street, or what? - I really began to genuinely giggle at the absurdity of it all. With a dawning sense of horror, you realise that maybe Donald "The Art of the Deal" Trump is actually quite humble. Nevertheless, the anecdotes keep coming. Did you realise that innovation requires combination of knowledge, skill and courage? But that sometimes it takes the founder to ignore the data and take the courage to innovate? Empires have been ruined over twaddle like this, but, you know what? F*** what you think, loser. History, and business books, are written by winners.
As I write this, I am just about to read a chapter on how to demote a good friend. Hmmm. How about not employing good friends in the first place, like anyone with any sense would do? Sensitively, he lets us know how to fire someone and preserve their dignity. Remember that they will feel some shame and embarrassment. Really? That would never have occurred to me.
About halfway through and running out of sick bags, I threw in the towel with this book. My cojones clearly weren't big enough to take the tough talking and I went back to Enid Blyton who, surprisingly, has more to say about human behaviour than this balloon does.