Top critical review
One person found this helpful
on 31 August 2014
It would help if the obviously faked reviews were not included! Reading the freebie part reveals that is does need serious attention.
What troubles me more is that someone with an IQ of less than 50 has proof read it, considering the ridiculous, incorrect punctuation that plagues your book. Was your "editor" the cleaner in the place where your day job is?
Some of the sentences just don't need to be there; appearing to have just been squeezed in to increase the word count without consideration of the context.
The descriptions are also too simplistic and don't draw the reader in, IMO, "A white man" an "african-caribbean" with no further descriptions at all is just not good enough. Even Behemott is lacking in any detail apart from good teeth and a sharp beard. How can he be described as "no shortage of admirers" and give nothing to substantiate it? This is very lazy.
Unchaining a tarpaulin is just weird, since when does a tarp need unchaining when it covers a metal door with "massive security bolts"? This section was written in a hurry and just doesn't flow properly.
I just don't get how some authors spoil everything with lazy work; giving the world that exists in their head, and only in their head, the briefest of chances to work. How about some bloomin' descriptions to the worlds? As it stands I can't envisage the world nor do I care to do so, there is nothing in there to pull me into it. And what on earth is all that bold and enlarged font about?
Lazy, lazy, lazy. You've got an interesting idea; a very rich person who collects but also, apparently, deals in mythological creatures. But there are no descriptive efforts to go with this world you have created.