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4.8 out of 5 stars
58
4.8 out of 5 stars
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on 7 August 1999
Although I have heard, from probably a dozen differnet sources, "we are all mirrors of each other" and "what we dislike in another is what we have to work on in ourselves", this book was a giant AHA! and I knew that I had finally "gotten it"! Debbie Ford doesn't have to rely on psychology "jargon" - her clear and simple, unvarnished examples and directions are perfect tools to get you where you want to be in your life. If you take her words to heart, I guarantee your view of yourself will change, and you'll never look at your fellow humans in quite the same way, either. Empowerment!
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on 9 October 2003
The message here is clear. Reclaim your power and creativity by actively embracing the sides of yourself you deny or dislike. Rather than waste time and energy condemning others, look at yourself for possible faults you may be finding in those around you. In this context, being a whole person is more important than being a "good" person. Being "spiritual" means being fully human, warts and all!
Many examples are given throughout of how judging others negatively is in fact a mirror for one's own perceived negative personality traits. Positive qualities are also often projected onto others and we can reclaim these too. By accepting the whole truth about ourselves we can move forward with a greater sense of self-worth and more love to give to others.
"Do you really want inner peace?" asks Debbie Ford, "If you do its yours. Surrender. Stop fighting. Stop defending. Stop pretending. Stop denying. Stop lying to yourself". Overall this is a powerful read in the territory of the "Conversations With God" books by Neale Donald Walsch who contributes an introduction here. As with many books of this nature, the challenge is to consistently LIVE these ideas!
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on 13 July 2002
When you are ready to take full responsibility for your life and quit blaming others for your emotional re-act-ions, and choose to stop depending on therapists and gurus to fix you, this book offers a brilliant tool. It offers to teach you to respond to your emotional reactions and discover what hidden issue the triggering event touched deep within you, and thus resolve it by bringing it to consciousness. It wraps up a lot of things you mostly find in half understood fragments in psychology and self-help literature, and is one of very few truly useful books.
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on 5 May 2001
I have read this book many times and consider it one of the most important I have ever read. A clear practical guide to self discovery and acceptance. No jargon, no fudge.
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on 9 February 2001
This covers a very important topic really well - how we project qualities on others that we deny in ourself. It uses language that makes it really understandable to the readers of today. I found myself so often being able to relate to her life. It shows so convincingly that we do need to accept and find our dark side and to stop running away from it. This is easy to say and difficult to do but she describes so many imaginative ways of doing just that. These really worked for me. Really useful brilliant book and a brilliant writer I think.
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on 19 February 2002
In this easy to read book, Debbie Ford reveals her deep insight in what is called 'Shadow work', ie. accepting the dark side of yourself and seeing the gift in every aspect. Of course, she doesn't resrict the scope to just the dark side, but also remembers to emphasize the importance on accepting our light side, the actual fact that we're all glorious.
It is easy to see that Debbie Ford has been working on this for a long time. She has been learning to accept herself and aspects of being human, and therefore becoming whole. Most importantly, she has been helping others become whole too. That experience shines through in the book and allows her to give deeply luminous examples on how to put the concepts in to use.
A great self-help book. Read it. If there is any aspect of you that you don't like, read it. If there is any aspect you don't think you can own, read it. If you think there is an aspect of someone you know you cannot tolerate, read it. To not do so, you do at your own peril. You might just be passing up a change to be whole and happy.
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on 2 August 2013
I heard of this book during an EFT (tapping) program given by Margaret M Lynch, which includes reference to the chakras and getting to understand more about the vows we make in our early years, both from a positive and negative perspective. The phrase "know thyself" springs to mind - we each contain the universe/world, therefore we can express both good and bad behaviours. The goal is to recognise - and more importantly accept - the lessons from both positions. Not always easy but inevitable to our benefit and wholeness.
And if that sounds like pretentiousness....it's about mirroring - when we see a characteristic in someone else we only recognise it because we have that same characteristic in our own make up. The trick is learning to live with the 'good' and the 'bad'.

It's an easy to read book, the messages are insightful and, if you are on your own personal journey of 'enlightenment' (insert your preferred choice of word here), it really is worth a read to expand your perspective.
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on 15 May 1999
There is no doubt in my mind that this book holds the key to wholeness for those on the personal growth path. Ford explains, in simple terms, why me must recognize and embrace our dark side in order to be whole. For the first time I was finally able to understand the concept of "projections." With that understanding, I no longer have to project onto others. I can love and embrace all of me which only allows more light in. Excellent reading!
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on 19 August 1999
This book has given me the opportunity to look at my life different and start taking responsibility for me. I have found the subtle ways in which I was taking away from me and now I can start giving back and healing. This book has been the most amazing thing that I have ever done for myself.
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on 6 February 2015
Debbie uses many stories and examples from her own experience and those she has worked with to demonstrate the importance of embracing the shadow - the aspects of ourselves (negative and positive) that we have disowned and projected outwards. Given the holographic nature of Reality, those aspects of ourselves that we don't own get manifested in our lives around us. It is a powerful insight, and whilst many others have pointed towards it, very few have managed to explain it so clearly. Debbie also provides many exercises to help work through the insights (many of which the ego would rather avoid, so it takes repeated focus to address the shadow). I had been opened up to some of these issues by Michael Brown's amazing book 'Alchemy of the Heart' (and by other authors) but Debbie has given me a deeper understanding of the extent to which we project onto others and how we need to recognise that for integration to occur. I can see why this book has stood the test of time. A magical book!
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