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Tell Him He's Pele: The Greatest Collection of Humorous Football Quotations Ever! Paperback – 27 May 2010
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"Still the funniest of such collections." --"Time Out"
"Still the funniest of such collections." "Time Out""
"It should be on the shelf of everyone who loves football." "The Times""
"An essential work whose previous offerings have entered the lore and language of the game." "Simon Barnes, The Times""
About the Author
When not skulking around football grounds and press conferences in search of funny quotes, Phil Shaw is a freelance sports writer with 30 years' experience on national newspapers. He reports on football for the Daily Telegraph, Guardian, Independent and Scotland on Sunday, having previously written for the Observer and Time Out. He has also compiled The Book of Football Quotations since its first edition in 1984, originally in collaboration with Peter Ball. Phil lives in Staffordshire with his wife Julie, tons of old vinyl and an unhealthy amount of Leeds United memorabilia.
Top customer reviews
There are many more where that came from. If you are a devotee of Private Eye's 'Colemanballs' - which, some issues, is almost entirely devoted to footballers' mixed metaphors and confused cliches - you will be familiar with this genre. But Shaw is a fan of all football humour, whether deliberate or accidental. He is keen to display the players' wit as much as their Malapropite tendencies. On being asked what he would be if he weren't a footballer, for example, Peter Crouch once answered: "A virgin." Crouchy's great rival as a (Groucho) Marxist is Gordon Strachan. "A quick word, Gordon?" "Velocity." Poor old Strach's dry sarcasm got him in trouble at his last two clubs - Celtic and Middlesbrough. Up in Teeside, they weren't laughing when he told a journalist he would "take drugs, and drink and smoke" to deal with the pressure of management. Two weeks later, he was a goner.
As a frequenter of press conferences, I take my hat off to the wee man. And to the big man, Mr Shaw, who has been collecting words of wisdom associated with the beautiful game for the past 30 years. This latest collection has more LOLs - as the kids say - per page than any other tome. It is a welcome and refreshing counterpoint to the self-important halfwits who deal in spin - and a great Chrissie present for anyone in need of a good guffaw in these recessionary times. It's definitely the funniest football book of the year.
I've never been so certain about anything in my life. Which is what Phil Neville once said - before adding: "I want to be a coach. Or a manager. I'm not sure which."
Romantics bruised by tawdry privatisation of the national sport will recover some of their affection for football from this volume of wonderful quotations. Here's the sport that still survives in Burslem, Brechin and Barnsley, captured mostly in the remarks of Football Men but also in the revelatory acts of the grotesque nouveau riche. I swear I could hear Bobby Robson sigh despairingly as he told an anecdote about one "star's" ear-ring. Football's at its most literate, its most passionate, funniest, wisest and saddest the further it gets from corporate-speak and vulgar behaviour. There's no room here for the Scudamores, Coles or expatriate owners. Instead, the gamut of football emotion is expressed fluently on pages that whiff of dubbin and liniment, mud and pies. What made the game beautiful is here - in a compendium edited by one of the sport's most articulate chroniclers.
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