- Paperback: 256 pages
- Publisher: Prima Publishing,U.S. (1 July 1998)
- Language: English
- ISBN-10: 0761512896
- ISBN-13: 978-0761512899
- Product Dimensions: 13.9 x 1.2 x 21.5 cm
- Average Customer Review: Be the first to review this item
- Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 1,675,806 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
How to Survive the Loss of a Child Paperback – 1 Jul 1998
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A guide to bereavement following the death of a child explains the five stages of grief--shock, awareness of loss, conservation/withdrawal, healing, and renewal--and offers parents advice on rebuilding their lives.
From the Inside Flap
"Thank you, "Catherine Sanders, for giving us a book that few others could have written. Every page speaks both the depth of your compassion and the breadth of your knowledge. This book will be a wise companion on the difficult journey from loss to recovery."
-- Robert Kastenbaum, Ph.D., author of "The Psychology of Death
""How to Survive the Loss of a Child is a godsend to those in the field as well as to those of us in need of such a resource for our own mourning."
-- Eugene Knott, Ph.D., University of Rhode Island
"Dr. Sanders' insights are profound and poignant."
-- Patricia Geiger, M.D., pediatrician, Boone, North Carolina
"Thank you so much for all that you do for bereaved parents but especially for writing "How to Survive the Loss of a Child. I know that it has changed lives. It changed mine!"
-- Nancy Ulmer, bereaved parent, Kindermourn, Charlotte, North Carolina
It is only through experiencing grief that bereaved parents ultimately heal. Moving through the phases of grief, the bereaved person works toward restoration. Understanding these phases, knowing what to expect, and learning what they can do to help themselves give parents greater assurance and comfort.
In "How to Survive the Loss of a Child, Dr. Sanders, a bereaved parent herself, offers grieving parents practical help and emotional support. This book also helps family members, friends, and caregivers relate to grieving parents and aids them, too, in understanding the process of healing through grief.
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Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
1. The book I found the most helpful (it has more sticky notes than I care to count right now) was "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart." I found it to be informative, engaging, validating (the author considers nearly every point of view and even uncovered some feelings that I was feeling that I didn't know I was feeling!), and reassuring. The author mentions, right after the preface, to read the book in whatever order you please, and skip the bits you want to skip. I did just that (despite being a rule-follower who reads even the preface and introduction to every book, in order). That was mighty helpful. I do caution, though, to save the last chapter for last. Chapter 17, save for absolute last, because, while not a summary, does tie themes together and provides a sense of closure. I read Chapters 14-16 last and felt compelled to re-read Chapter 17 to get the closure piece.
2. "When a Baby Dies" has exactly 4 sticky notes. It wasn't of much use to me, compared to other books. However, if this is the ONE book you'll read, then it may have "enough" for you. It is written almost like an informative guide, not supplemented by much. It's like the 8th grade version of a reference book. It's the MySpace before there was Facebook.
3. "How to Survive the Loss of a Child” was a startling read. The first chapter drew terrifying hard lines on the frequency of infancy loss. After Chapter 1 I had my guard up for the rest of the book. I put it down and said to my husband, “Well, that was hippy-dippy.” There was discussion of breathing techniques and aromatherapy. It was very “try this to feel better,” which was very practical but I was looking for some sympathy not help. But, after the loss of a child, you’re willing to do just about anything to feel better, so I re-read it and this time let the hippy in me shine. I made precisely 9 stick notes using the standard sticky note practice I’d adopted, but also 14 sticky notes of “techniques to try.” The book was helpful, but not necessarily sympathetic. I have and will continue to employ its techniques. Bottom Line: if you’re going to buy more than one loss book, buy this one and “Empty Cradle, Broken Heart,” and “When Hello Means Goodbye.”
4. “When Hello Means Goodbye” is a guide, not a book. It (was it in the introduction?) even states, “This is not a book.” It’s a collection of sentiments and sympathies for the reader. I read this book first and I’m so very pleased that I did. I read this very close to when Simon was born, and the sympathies felt like they were written for me. The opening includes Dr. Seuss’s “A person’s a person no matter how small.” Like they knew I wanted everyone to validate Simon as a person. I dove right into this book.
5. “How to Survive the Loss of a Child” by Catherine M. Sanders, Ph.D., was not what I needed. It was not written about or for infancy loss (though there is a chapter on it). There’s nothing particularly wrong with the book, it just wasn’t for me. It was meant for mothers who lost their children who were not infants. The author’s son died in his teens, which was the story in Chapter 1. I was not prepared to read a horrific story like that and then worry about my other son’s possible early demise. This book may help some, but I should have put it down after 2 pages. Despite this, I kept reading and gleaned a few things (7 sticky notes). If you’re going to buy a LOT of infant loss books, maybe this would appeal to you.