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I Surrender All: Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography Paperback – 1 Sep 2005
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From the Back Cover
Clay Crosse burst onto the contemporary Christian music scene with his 1994 hit "I Surrender All." And over the next four years, his star climbed higher and higher with more number-one hits and sold-out concerts. But beneath his success lurked a dark secret: He was addicted to pornography. No one knew he had a problem--not even Clay--until the day God took away his voice. What followed that day was a story of the power of grace and forgiveness. Now Clay and Renee tell their story with the prayer that it will help countless other marriages--perhaps even yours.
About the Author
Clay Crosse is a three-time Dove Award-winning singer who has spent more than a decade recording and performing worldwide. He has had nine number-one singles. Married since 1990, Clay and Renee began Holy Homes Ministries in 2002, challenging Christian families to live godly lives.
Mark Tabb is the author of eight books, including Greater Than and the 2004 ECPA Gold Medallion Finalist Out of the Whirlwind.
Top customer reviews
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As Clay Crosse is a highly regarded artist within CCM, it's all the more courageous for him to be so open about getting tangled up in pornography. I can't help thinking that if more leaders and "celebrities" within Christian culture were willing to be honest about their failures as well as their successes, there would be less temptation to hide one's problems away and present a grinning facade on a Sunday morning. More reality and authenticity could only be a good thing.
I did feel that despite the degree of honesty, this feels in some ways a little rushed, but overall it's a good read, and I should think it would be an encouragement and help to someone who was struggling with similar issues.
Anyway, the constant references to the Bible make the book unreadable by a non-Christian reader. I also disliked the comment about the fact that Christian families should do better because they are Christian, as if non-religious family can happily go by without morals since they don't mention the Bible in every breath.
I found this book patronising and hypocritical at the same time, although I appreciate that it takes some guts to admit to be addicted to porn if belonging to a Christian environment.
Most helpful customer reviews on Amazon.com
Clay Crosse accepted Christ as his Savior at the age of thirteen. He was active in church youth groups and music groups. He was a Christian but did not have a close personal relationship with Christ.
Clay had his first experience with pornography when he was in the fourth grade. He was at a friend's house and they found the dad's collection of magazines. His involvement with pornography increased as he entered his high school years.
Clay and Renee started dating and made public commitments to sexual purity, but Clay continued to secretly view pornographic magazines and videos. He didn't realize that this "habit" was taking over his life and damaging his relationship with his wife and with God.
Clay and Renee Crosse share the difficult journey they experienced after Clay went public with his problem and asked for forgiveness. They both share their feelings in the pages of this book. They were committed to their marriage and they were able to use this experience to draw nearer to God and to each other.
This couple is a role model for couples who find their marriage in the ditch. Clay and Renee demonstrate that it is possible to come through the storm and have a stronger marriage and a closer walk with God. They are reaching out to other hurting couples with their Holy Homes Ministry.
There is hope for a better life....this book proves it!
I initially found this book because it was free on kindle. I was intrigued because while some might label this "vanity press," confessing to the sin of pornography and adultery while in public ministry is not usually a vanity thing, but can be a deal breaker. I also, having spoken with many women who struggle to deal with their husband's issues in this area of sexual sin, I wanted to understand both sides of the story.
The Crosse's do a good job describing the rise to fame and descent into sin, how that impacted them and what God did to bring Clay to repentance. I loved the honesty that Clay and Renee express as they share a deeply painful part of their marriage and life. I also appreciate the emphasis on repentance and that pornography was not really the "biggest sin" that they faced. That was merely as surface issue that had its roots in selfishness and not being fully surrendered to Jesus Christ.
They describe their painful journey to healing and how God has led them through that process. There were no magic bullets through the pain they endured but they did not give up on their marriage or each other in spite of the pain and I find that admirable given the high rate of divorce even in the Christian church.
If you want to understand the damage pornography can do to your faith, ministry and marriage, then this book is good. It reads quickly and the use of Scripture is succinct and appropriate. There is no preaching here, just authentic telling of their story and what they learned. Biblical headship and trust are addressed in how that plays out in the wake of such a painful breach of trust in a relationship. Men who are struggling with this issue could learn a lot from the example of Clay's humility and servant's heart towards his wife. It is a beautiful thing to see how God has taken what was dark and painful and brought beauty out of it in their marriage.
I would recommend this book to pastors, and to anyone struggling with pornography or married to someone who is. Everyone's path may be different but I think the core issues that the Crosse's address are biblical and true and would be helpful to those who really are not even "getting it" as to why this sin I s such a big deal.