Still a Dad: The Divorced Father's Journey Paperback – 1 Feb 1999
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Review by Thomas Thornton in New York City Children's Rights Council, Newsletter Vol. VII No. 3 (March 1999)
As second wivesand many times custodial mothers we have encountered difficulty relating to our husbands anger and frustration as a divorced dad. As a second wife to a divorced non-custodial father, I believe this book is invaluable to not only divorced dads, but to second wives trying to understand.
The book communicates in no uncertain terms that divorce isn't fair, but it seems to suggest that fathers should realize that they can't change the system because of all of the biases. Therefore, the book suggests, fathers should be happy with what they've got, instead of fretting over what they don't have -- significant time with their children.
For any father who is going through a divorce and is missing his children, this advice isn't sufficient and certainly doesn't wipe away the tears. The author seems to suggest that fathers should be satisfied with mailing cookies or spending every other weekend with their children, because that's all they're going to get -- if that's what the mother wants.
Any father who thinks he is the better parent, should use the court system, no matter how biased it is, to become the primary custodian. This book did not expend a single word telling fathers -- caring fathers -- how to do this.
For fathers who truly love their children, I would recommend "The Father's Emergency Guide to Divorce," which provides practical advice, as opposed to the advice provided in "Still a Dad," a book that from all indications was written by a feminist who wants to perpetuate the discriminatory attitudes of society and courts.
For fathers who are satisfied with the "status quo" of having custody of their children every other weekend, this book is an affirmation of their decision to become part-time parents. But to the father who wants to continue being an active, involved part of his children's lives, this book is good bathroom material -- if you don't have toilet paper.