The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children Hardcover – 1 Aug 2006
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About the Author
John Rosemond is a family psychologist who has directed mental-health programs and been in full-time private practice working with families and children. Since 1990, he has devoted his time to speaking and writing. Rosemond s weekly syndicated parenting column now appears in some 250 newspapers, and he has written 15 best-selling books on parenting and the family. He is one of the busiest and most popular speakers in the field, giving more than 200 talks a year to parent and professional groups nationwide. He and his wife of 39 years, Willie, have two grown children and six well-behaved grandchildren."
Top Customer Reviews
Most Helpful Customer Reviews on Amazon.com (beta)
This book has a lot of Q & A, some of which will not apply to you. You can skim those parts and pick and choose to read the questions that are relevant for you. I would also HIGHLY recommend you read A Family of Value. That is the single BEST parenting book I have ever read. While I believe Rosemond's style of parenting is "out" right now, I think there are a lot more parents going back to basics and hopefully his ideas will hit the mainstream. Reading this book will make you no longer fit in with the "parenting is the hardest job in the world" crowd anymore. Instead, you will be in control and confident in your parenting.
I did dock a star and here is why:
1) It seems as if in Rosemond's world breastfeeding doesn't exist. In reality, it's becoming more popular and is a MAJOR part of the first year of life for many new parents. He needs to at least mention it in his discussions of kids in the bed and daycare, for example.
2) While Rosemond does say home care is ideal for children under 3, he still acts like daycare is no big deal for young children. He says to make sure there are no more than FIVE babies to ONE caregiver. Read that again....I can tell you there is no way ONE person can give even BASIC care to FIVE babies!! It is just not humanly possible.
3) He underestimates the impact of divorce. I am 31 and grew up to see about 50% of my friends' parents divorce. These were not bad parents. Some divorced on amiable terms. Most of these kids, including my best friend, suffered lasting damage from the divorce. Some still struggle with relationship issues today. Even if the divorce is best for everyone, it can and often does have a huge negative impact on children. It is no small issue.
All in all, excellent parenting advice. I would highly recommend anyone read this book, and read it when you are pregnant if possible. You will save yourself a lot of headaches.
Some of Rosemond's recommendations may sound harsh at first but are not nearly as neglectful as some people make them out to be. Rosemond advocates punishing children for misbehavior, an idea that is novel today but was once the norm. He does not seem to pretend that these punishments are not harmful, instead he advocates that a little harm (such as frustration, embarrassment, shame, etc.) in the short term is productive in that it motivates positive behavior in the future which will ultimately lead to less harm in the long run. Additionally negative experiences teach children to cope. How are adults who will inevitably face failure and frustration supposed to know how to deal with failure and frustration in a healthy manner if they have never experienced failure or frustration. Learning these skills young when the stakes are lower is certainly preferable. While this may run contrary to the feel-goodery parenting of today I think it rings true for most.
Most of the people who oppose Rosemond's work have seriously harmful misconceptions about parenting. As evidenced by some of the negative reviews of this book some parents feel as though they should be playmates and friends to their children. At face value this is a truly ridiculous concept. During college I met many people who's parents were so busy trying to be their friends that they forgot to be their parents. These children become young adults who lack basic self-sufficiency. I had friends who could not manage their money, pump gas, do their own laundry, or run a dishwasher. A roommate whose mother was obviously trying to be the cool mom dropped out of school and I also noticed that many of my friends whose parents spoiled them have a hard time having meaningful romantic relationships because of their self-centered outlook on the world.
I have extremely positive memories of my childhood and my parents were absolutely not my friends. In fact, I remember being too familiar with my father on a few occasions and quickly being advised that I may be able to talk with my friends in such a way but that he was not one of my friends. Frankly, that was okay. I didn't need or want him to be a friend, I wanted him to be a parent. Parents have been guilt tripped into believing they should spent copious amounts of time with their children but the reality is that this does not set them up to be well rounded adults. An average day of my childhood consisted of walking to the school bus stop without my parents, going to school, and playing outside with neighborhood kids. The time that I spent with my parents usually consisted of walking the dog as a family, eating dinner as a family, playing catch with my father when he came home from work, and running errands with my mother. There was nothing neglectful about this and I never had any doubts that my parents loved me and were there for me. They were there for me on a deeper more important level than just being a friend.
I would absolutely recommend this book not just to parents but to anyone interested in societal matters and has ever wondered why they are surrounded by entitled and bratty adults. You don't need to accepts everything Rosemond says hook, line, and sinker. But I say again, we are not a society at risk of neglecting our children, we are actually dangerously far down the other end of the spectrum and we need more people advocating that we be a little tougher on our children for their own good.