The Secret Life of Us Paperback – 9 Aug 2002
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About the Author
Rowan Coleman used to be Editorial Manager at Ebury Press. Her first novel, GROWING UP TWICE, is to be published August 2002 by Arrow. She is a previous winner of the Company magazine first book award.
Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
There's living it, and then there's Living It. We all know that, right? There's getting out of bed, sitting at a desk in some s****y job, waiting on some pay cheque that just about gets you through Friday night. There's that constant low-level yearning for sex, that nameless desperation to f**k anyone who'll let you. The waiting, always waiting, for the someone who won't; for that unrequited love thing. Spending half your life wishing you'd fall in love and the other half wishing you hadn't, always looking for that forbidden line just so you can cross it. There's beer, good times with your mates, some warm memories that kid you that your friends are your real family and with them at your side nothing can touch you and all of you will live forever.
There's the odd joint, a couple of pills maybe, living out your youth to the last letter of the dictionary definition and then there's the next day and the next. That's the way I live life and that's the way I love living life: in your face, right now. Instant karma come and get me. But as much as I love loving it all right now, I've found out there' more. Something more than the chicks and the highs and the women and the highs and the girls and the highs. There's me and my laptop.
I've got it planned. An extra-curricular addition to the high-octane partying, to the finding true love, as many times as I can, with whoever I can, for ever. A plan that means that I can live each moment for all it's worth - free and easy for sure, but with an ultimate purpose. Then when I do croak, it won't matter; in fact it'll be cool, because by then I'll be immortal.
Isn't that what we all want? Everyone you know and you. Everyone I know and me. Like Miranda wants first-night applause on a stage that counts; like Richie wants to hear his name at an awards ceremony in the States. Like Alex wants love, and wants to know what love really is, if it isn't hurt and humiliation. Like I want this, my book, my words, to mean something to me and to you and everyone I know and everyone you know, today, tomorrow and always.
Maybe immortality's not for everyone. Maybe just those fifteen minutes in life's spotlight, even in love's spotlight, is all they need. But I need more. I need forever.
So I've got it planned.
And plan A is to stop planning and start doing. Plan A is to take us - Alex, Richie, Miranda, Will - all of us and me and to recreate us. To turn our head life, our heart life, the secret life of us, into screaming, kicking, going-for-glory Living.
And it's right here.