‘Sea View Babylon. Sex, Violence & Spanish Verb Conjugation’ by Stan Arnold is the third of seven books in the Implosion Saga - very funny thrillers, from the land that gave you Monty Python!
Mick and Jim are two incompetent, Soho-based, corporate video producers, who drink too much, don’t earn enough and get too many death threats They are forced into an unexpected visit to the little seaside town of Playa Blanca in Lanzarote. They book into Sea View, a bizarre re-creation of a 1950’s Blackpool boarding house, right next to the beach. Sea View is run by the manic Fernando, who is learning English at a local bar, where holidaying Brits are teaching him a vast range of obscene phrases, which he mixes happily with his innate courtesy and friendliness. Mick and Jim arrive with video footage they think will make them millions, but a short telephone call to the BBC reveals they have been thwarted - and that the footage is worthless. Down but not out, they decide to do what normal people do, and take a holiday break. On their first afternoon, while enjoying a pedalo ride, they are threatened with assassination by both the CIA and KGB, and drawn into a web of espionage, lies, deceit and sexual excess involving MI7 - so secret, even MI5 and MI6 don’t know about it. After five, bizarre, unexplained deaths, they endure a spell in cell 101 with only a bucket for company. Later, they direct a video featuring a clapped out helicopter and two Florida swamp bikers with the goal of saving the Chief of Police’s sex life. After a series of hair-raising episodes, including an SAS helicopter assault on the Timanfaya Bar and Grill and learning how to urinate in an environmentally sound manner from 30-foot up an ivy-covered wall at midnight, the climatic, bullet-riddled showdown takes place in an auditorium built into a volcanic blow-hole. A scene which will later by retold and embellished by Polly, the world's most foul-beaked parrot. Back in their Soho office, Mick and Jim use their version of the Erle Stanley Gardner plot wheel to decide their future. The wheel advises them to open a bicycle repair shop on the North Face of Everest. Just as they are rejecting that option, another becomes available. It appears evil, sinister, life-threatening and most seriously of all, it involves a trip into deepest Yorkshire. Do they go for it, or not?