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Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't Paperback – 1 Oct 1996

4.4 out of 5 stars 31 customer reviews

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Frequently Bought Together

  • Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren't
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  • Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
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  • Changes That Heal: How to Understand the Past to Ensure a Healthier Future
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Product details

  • Paperback: 208 pages
  • Publisher: Zondervan (1 Oct. 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0310210844
  • ISBN-13: 978-0310210849
  • Product Dimensions: 13.3 x 1.2 x 20.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 31,874 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • See Complete Table of Contents

Product Description

From the Back Cover

Too many of us have invested ourselves into relationships that left us deeply wounded. We've been abandoned or taken advantage of, and left with little to show for what we've given. We've lost our sense of security and personal value in the process. And what's worse, we tend to either repeat the same mistakes of judgment over and over . . . Or else lock the doors of our hearts entirely and throw away the key. Why do we choose the wrong people to get involved with? Is it possible to change? And if so, where does one begin? Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend offer solid guidance for making safe choices in relationships, from friendships to romance. They help identify the nurturing people we all need in our lives, as well as ones we need to learn to avoid. Safe People will help you to recognize 20 traits of relationally untrustworthy people. Discover what makes some people relationally safe, and how to avoid unhealthy entanglements. You'll learn about things within yourself that jeopardize your relational security. And you'll find out what to do and what not to do to develop a balanced, healthy approach to relationships.

About the Author

Dr. Henry Cloud is an acclaimed leadership expert, psychologist, and New York Times best-selling author with his books selling more than 10 million copies. As a speaker, Dr. Cloud has shared the stage with many business and global leaders and experts, such as Tony Blair, Jack Welch, Condoleezza Rice, Desmond Tutu, Malala Yousafzai, and others. In his leadership consulting practice, Dr. Cloud works with Fortune 500 companies and smaller private businesses alike. He has an extensive executive coaching background and experience as a leadership consultant, devoting the majority of his time working with CEO's, leadership teams and executives to improve performance, leadership skills, and culture. Dr. Cloud lives in Los Angeles with his wife, Tori, and their two daughters, Olivia and Lucy. Dr. John Townsend is a leadership consultant, psychologist, and New York Times bestselling author. He has written twenty-seven books, selling 10 million copies, including the 3 million-selling Boundaries series. John is founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling and conducts the Townsend Leadership program. He travels extensively for corporate consulting, speaking, and working with leadership families. He and his wife Barbi have two sons, and live in Newport Beach, California. One of John's favorite hobbies is playing in a band that performs in Southern California lounges and venues.

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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
This book is a real gem. The author shows you what healthy interaction should look like and how to confront or change your relationships with those who are not emotionally healthy, or accept that they are not able/willing to change at this point in time and avoid them....guilt free.

As a christian I really appreciated the practical help combined with biblical knowledge and it busts some of the wrong thinking and wrong teaching that we often have e.g. turn the other cheek = act like a doormat!
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By A Customer on 9 Aug. 2005
Format: Paperback
This is a lovely little book, enjoyable and easy to read. It helps reconcile the Christian teachings with modern life, explaining some "simple" truths about life and relating to others in a helpful manner. Great reminder of the need to cherish our spiritual and emotional needs in times of trouble. I find it truly inspiring in the process of personal growth and fulfilment. The summaries at the end of each chapter make it easy to revisit and consult when in doubt... Highly recommended!
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Format: Paperback
I work as a lay counselor at our church. This book is wonderfully written and will be a tremendous resource for our library. I am so grateful to Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend for the taking the time to write such helpful information. Their book Boundries has already become very popular and I am sure this one will as well. Practical, real and honest, they deal with matters of the heart that often trip so many of us up. It's scriptural, loving and holds up a mirror so we can see ourselves. A very useful thing indeed!
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Format: Paperback
This book is written so well, so clear, and so boldly that one leaves it having gained a new confidence in choosing healthy relationships. These authors are straight forward and to the point, and write with no room for "sissyness". For example, they clearly point out the things you may be doing to contribute to the "drooping" state of your relationships. (Otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this review. A workbook for the paperback edition is also available.) I regret that the rating only goes up to ten, as this book DESERVES a 20 out of ten. If you are an adult or almost an adult, then you are required to (I can't REALLY order you to but I wish I could) read this. This book is THAT GOOD and it's message THAT IMPORTANT! Order it yesterday!
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Format: Paperback
This little book has been priceless in letting me 'see' some of the flaws and shortcomings there have been in my own life over the years. Personal flaws that have caused immense hurt, pain, sorrow and loss to myself and others. Reading it has been like looking into a mirror. Most importantly, reading it has given me great hope and encouragement that self-destructive patterns CAN change; my heart melt, and a new beginning emerge in the develoment of vital safe relationships. I would strongly reccommend this book to those who seek safe relationships and to those who wish to be 'Safe People' for others. 'Safe People' - a wonderful little book; a tremendous blessing! Thank you so much Dr's H.Cloud & J.Townsend.
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I am glad I found this book!!The language, descriptions are very clear, concise and afer initial reading I easily recognised patterns of some unsafe or truly toxic people around me.The book helped me to recognised some of these patterns in myself ,and what to do in order to get rid of them and lead more healthy, assertive life .Very helpful, insightful , positive book.!I bought additionally some books on codependency as it complements this book perfectly, Many of toxic or unsafe people come from unloving,destructive families ,and are themselves the victims of toxic parenting like myself. This book is full a good advice, solutions. It simply is A LITTLE GEM!!!It gave me a lot of confidence I lacked when dealing with toxic people.But most importantly I got finally rid of an awful feeling of guilt eating my heart away each time I tried to limit or avoid toxic people.
As a Christian , I know now that it is ok to avoid , limit or cut off completely some unhealthy people fom my life and still be ok with it.
I highly recommend this book. : )
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
We are all invloved in a relationship of some kind. This book helps to idenify which ones are worth keeping and which ones are not. Read it with he view of how you, the reader, can be a safe person as like does attract like. Gives a deep insight into why some people are not ideal to have around and why some are.
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Format: Paperback
These guys are gifted Christian psychologists who write in a very accessible way for those of us without psychology degrees! This book is excellent and good to read as a follow-on to "Boundaries" by the same authors.
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