The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr.Right Paperback – 2 Feb 2012
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About the Author
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have helped countless unmarried women find marital bliss. Ellen is studing for her Masters in social work and Sherrie is a freelance journalist. They have become chat show regulars and household names in the USA.
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Top Customer Reviews
The main principle of the book is spot on, but use your common sense as which parts are a bit far fetched. Sime reviewers say that you aren't presenting your true self and you are duping a man into marrying you by game playing. You're not, you are still you and any man can see clearly the girl he is dating. All you're doing is not giving too much away and making him do the chasing. Dating is a game whatever way you look at it. This way you're in control and can weadle out the ones who aren't willing to go the extra mile for you.
I transformed myself and my life and, feeling very embarrassed and self-conscious and thinking that no man would bother to wait for me if I wasn't readily available, I nevertheless followed the rules. The most beautiful and perfect, kind, lovely and successful man wooed me, and we are still together and so very, very happy after 4 lovely years. I still struggle with a lack of confidence but he has helped me to know that despite my reservations, I am really worthwhile and I'm about to set up my own business.
I can see why people criticise this book for suggesting that you play games, or manipulate men. But for me it was simply showing me in a practical way how I could act to give the impression that I had some self-respect, and as a result I was treated with respect, and grew to have self-respect.
...he found the book in my room, read through it while I was out, and saw that some things which we had argued about in the past (e.g. why I rarely phoned him, why I was so "busy") and had caused some friction in our relationship were a result of the rules, which I hadn't told him about. He told me he couldn't trust my word or respect me any more for treating him like the subject of an experiment, and left - I haven't been able to contact him since.
It started out like a game and made me feel desired and in control for a while but it has left me in a bad place emotionally, I feel like I've blown perhaps what could have worked and lost a degree of my own self-respect too. I regret BIG TIME ever picking up this silly, destructive book and applying it to my life.
The rules won't win the love of any man worth winning, just men who are desperate, dull and predictable in their behaviour. The best advice to women in this book is "be an uncommon creature" - but I've come to realise that such a woman would use her own wisdom and character, not a list of shallow rules about how to live her life.
I've learnt a lot from this book, but not what I was expecting to - above all, that games can end up hurting everyone involved. You're better off reading a book that helps you communicate with and understand your partner better rather than one that teaches you how to play cheap psychological tricks on them.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Criticised for being old fashioned but you know what.....the rules count. Men are like dogs, chase after one and they will run a mile. Read morePublished 1 month ago by Suzanne M
I can see why so many women have read this book in the 20 years since it was first published but it's one of those self-help books with one message and one message only - how to... Read morePublished 4 months ago by Amazon customer
Please don't believe his tripe. When you meet the one none of this rubbish matters.Published 5 months ago by Leo Georgina