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The Rules: Time Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr.Right Paperback – 2 Feb 2012

4.1 out of 5 stars 108 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 190 pages
  • Publisher: Harper Element; 1st Element Edition edition (2 Feb. 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0722532504
  • ISBN-13: 978-0722532508
  • Product Dimensions: 13 x 1.4 x 19.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (108 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 348,398 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

About the Author

Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have helped countless unmarried women find marital bliss. Ellen is studing for her Masters in social work and Sherrie is a freelance journalist. They have become chat show regulars and household names in the USA.


Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Mass Market Paperback
At 33 I had lived with 3 previous partners and even had a child by my ex partner. I decided to read the rules because I never seemed to get man to treat me the way I wanted, not mess me around, cheat - usual stuff! I read the book and some of it is laugh out loud stuff as it seems so old fashioned. However, I met a guy on a ski trip and instead of being my usual keen self I followed the rules and held back - even doing the simple stuff suggested in the book. Well what can I say, after 9 months of dating (yes dating - not moving in together) we became engaged, married 6 months after that, living together shortly after that and now happier than I've ever been.

The main principle of the book is spot on, but use your common sense as which parts are a bit far fetched. Sime reviewers say that you aren't presenting your true self and you are duping a man into marrying you by game playing. You're not, you are still you and any man can see clearly the girl he is dating. All you're doing is not giving too much away and making him do the chasing. Dating is a game whatever way you look at it. This way you're in control and can weadle out the ones who aren't willing to go the extra mile for you.
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Format: Mass Market Paperback
This book (in conjunction with "He's Just Not That Into You") broke my belief that I was worthless. It showed me some practical steps I could take in order to wait for a man who thought highly of me. I read this book when I was 40 and had just finished a 4 year relationship with an unemployed waster who bullied me and eventually pushed me over and raised his fist ready to punch me in the face. The only other relationship I'd had was a one-year relationship with another unemployed waster, but who was a sweet man simply going nowhere. All my other "relationships" were one or two week affairs where I would drop everything and be at the man's beck and call.

I transformed myself and my life and, feeling very embarrassed and self-conscious and thinking that no man would bother to wait for me if I wasn't readily available, I nevertheless followed the rules. The most beautiful and perfect, kind, lovely and successful man wooed me, and we are still together and so very, very happy after 4 lovely years. I still struggle with a lack of confidence but he has helped me to know that despite my reservations, I am really worthwhile and I'm about to set up my own business.

I can see why people criticise this book for suggesting that you play games, or manipulate men. But for me it was simply showing me in a practical way how I could act to give the impression that I had some self-respect, and as a result I was treated with respect, and grew to have self-respect.
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Format: Mass Market Paperback Verified Purchase
OMG girls it really works !!!!Absolutely great so far, my only regret is that i didn't read this 10 years ago !!!
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Format: Paperback
I tried the rules out myself, kept phone calls short, played hard to get, it was fun and I enjoyed the game. Then I met someone whom I've since come to see in hindsight genuinely cared for me. I found the rules hard to keep because I just wanted to spend time with him and open up to him, but I'd been hurt before so I decided to keep using them to protect myself. But...
...he found the book in my room, read through it while I was out, and saw that some things which we had argued about in the past (e.g. why I rarely phoned him, why I was so "busy") and had caused some friction in our relationship were a result of the rules, which I hadn't told him about. He told me he couldn't trust my word or respect me any more for treating him like the subject of an experiment, and left - I haven't been able to contact him since.
It started out like a game and made me feel desired and in control for a while but it has left me in a bad place emotionally, I feel like I've blown perhaps what could have worked and lost a degree of my own self-respect too. I regret BIG TIME ever picking up this silly, destructive book and applying it to my life.
The rules won't win the love of any man worth winning, just men who are desperate, dull and predictable in their behaviour. The best advice to women in this book is "be an uncommon creature" - but I've come to realise that such a woman would use her own wisdom and character, not a list of shallow rules about how to live her life.
I've learnt a lot from this book, but not what I was expecting to - above all, that games can end up hurting everyone involved. You're better off reading a book that helps you communicate with and understand your partner better rather than one that teaches you how to play cheap psychological tricks on them.
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Format: Hardcover Verified Purchase
great book; highly recommended to anyone who does not want to get buried in love again..it demonstrates all qualities that woman has to show in order to win the heart the one she desires. Also lots of good advice mostly based on the common sense but I strongly believe reading this book before hand provides you with some knowledge about relationships, therefore prevents you from getting a heartache due to unsuccessful romance. Also after reading this book I can saymy understanding of men has increased and since I have applied some of the techniques I do see the results I am after....Funny enough I have already had a chance to test some of the rules and it does make a difference in final outcome..it is worth it to give it try and follow these rules.. well there is nothing to lose but only to win.. happy reading and good luck in love and romance.
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