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The Reality Slap Paperback – 21 Jun 2012

4.4 out of 5 stars 48 customer reviews

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Frequently Bought Together

  • The Reality Slap
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  • The Happiness Trap (Based on ACT: A revolutionary mindfulness-based programme for overcoming stress, anxiety and depression)
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  • The Confidence Gap
Total price: £29.45
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Product details

  • Paperback: 256 pages
  • Publisher: Robinson (21 Jun. 2012)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1780332025
  • ISBN-13: 978-1780332024
  • Product Dimensions: 13 x 1.5 x 19.7 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (48 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 26,911 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description


"Deeply personal, profoundly insightful, and above all, highly practical, this book will show you how to deal with "reality slaps"--those painful wake-up calls that we all have when things go wrong. Russ Harris has produced another excellent book about what it means to be truly human, how to deal with life's difficulties, and how to live a more engaged, meaningful, and pleasurable life."

--Anthony Grant, PhD, director of the coaching psychology unit at the University of Sydney and author of "8 Steps to Happiness"

"Sooner or later, reality is going to slap you. Loss, disease, betrayal or other misfortunes will arrive unexpectedly and shake your very foundation. At that moment, this wise book is one to keep within reach. It will do more than soothe you--it will ground you, guide you, and help you grow. Taking the time to treat yourself with kindness and awareness doesn't remove the pain, but it dignifies it and turns it into a profound teacher. This book will help you learn the lessons that pain can teach. You will want this book, not just for you, but also for those you love, knowing that sooner or later, reality is going to slap them, too."

--Steven C. Hayes, PhD, Foundation Professor of Psychology at the University of Nevada, Reno, and author of "Get Out of Your Mind and Into Your Life"

"Deeply moving and easy to understand, "The Reality Slap" is a book that takes us to the heart of being human to really help us change from the inside. Russ Harris has given us a truly compassionate gift that explains how we can enlighten ourselves on our journey through life's storms and calms. I had so many insightful moments that reading this book was a delight."

--Paul Gilbert, PhD, author of "The Compassionate Mind"

"No matter what we attempt to do, pain and suffering are inevitably going to creep into our lives, and the capacity to handle this pain is essential for fulfillment. So if you want a short-term boost of happiness with simple, banal ideas that your kindergarten teacher could have told you, go elsewhere. But if you want to create a stable platform of mindfulness, meaning, and purpose in your life, and develop the ability to handle pain effectively, then this is the book to read. It is my great hope that people will find this book and flexibly adopt the ideas within."

--Todd B. Kashdan, PhD, author of "Curious?" and "Designing Positive Psychology"

"Gripping and compassionate--a must-read for anybody going through a difficult life transition, such as divorce, illness, career change, or the death of a loved one. This is a rare work, one that is at once deeply personal and universally applicable."

--Joseph Ciarrochi, PhD, associate professor at the University of Wollongong and author of "Emotional Intelligence in Everyday Life"

"Russ Harris is a world-renowned and highly respected trainer of acceptance and commitment therapy, a modern scientific model of human psychology that overlaps to a great extent with aspects of traditional spiritual wisdom. In "The Reality Slap," drawing from both scientific findings and his own personal experience, Harris invites us all into a vital conversation on how to handle life's rough edges. Read it, enjoy it, and you will find some genuine treasures in your life!"

--Niklas TOrneke, MD, coauthor of "The ABCs of Human Behavior" --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Book Description

A self-help book that will teach you how to cope effectively when life hurts and how not only to survive life's unexpected curve balls, but also how to thrive, despite them.

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Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
In my opinion The Happiness Trap is one of the best self help books ever. The more you use it the more you get out of it and ACT is a radically different way of looking at mental and emotional health. The focus of The Reality Gap is sufficiently different to be a worthwhile study if you are a HT fan. And it is probably comprehensive enough to stand alone if you haven't read HT.
The difference in the focus is partly that Russ is talking about the big 'bad' events in life that hit us all now and again. But everything in the book is equally applicable to more everyday frustrations, fears and disappointments.
Improvements on HT are that there is a much greater focus on treating yourself kindly. This is really helpful and makes the other core techniques of ACT much more doable and gentle.
He also cuts to the chase quicker on core techniques which makes them easier to understand and to start practising. The depth he goes into in HT probably helps to really get a grasp of them but can be a bit forbidding in places.
He uses a bunch of new exercises that are very quick and effective and incorporate mindfulness, compassion and action.
Most of all for me is that he places Values more centrally and sooner in the discussion . I never could understand why he put the Values stuff at the end of HT. Seems to me it is not only a central plank but the prime motivator in ACT so needs to come early in the change journey or there might be no journey!
I get really excited about ACT out of all the therapies i have trained in. It is this central importance of Values that excites me. Not just individuals but organisations and even society seems to have lost the very understanding of what values are.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
At this time of reading I have been really struggling with pain and fear in my life: fear/worry for my little 4 year old son as we proceed along assessment for autism, fear for my mum and her recent diagnosis & radiotherapy treatment and as a backdrop to our fears our rented home of 6 years being sold and now having 5 weeks to find a new home without the financial security we would have liked. At times I have felt close to breaking down completely when I feel overwhelmed.... However, I believe I am learning new life skills from this book that are helping me cope. Sometimes it's mind blowing, sometimes just helps me find a trickle of hope. It's enough. I am thankful to Dr Russ for this great book. For me, inspiring, helpful and a bit like having just the right kind words from a friend who really understands. Our challenges are still here and I still hurt & fear but I also feel renewed strength with skills I'm learning. The wisdom and exercises are helping me. I hope if you are reading this & considering a book such as this that you too will feel the kindness and wisdom from this book and that it helps you find hope and strength. I'd also recommend if you can, applying these principals whilst getting out into nature (a nearby park for me) and prayer helps me too.. Maybe even guided me to this book. Also consider same author another amazing book, 'The Happiness Trap'. If you are in pain, give this book a try. I wish you well.
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Format: Kindle Edition
I came across this book purely by accident when browsing the bookshop and I am really glad I found it. I don't usually buy 'self help' books as such, and the ones I have bought I never finished due to loss of interest. The thing I really liked about this book is that the author would regularly acknowledge that it isn't just the simple act of 'positive thinking' that allows us to find fulfillment in life. Rather, the book teaches us to find peace when we experience negative emotions instead of trying to fight them. This is done using a variety of detailed 'mindfulness' techniques described in the book.

I loved how Russ Harris would use real examples from his own life (in particular his Autistic son) when explaining the ACT approach. I also appreciated how Russ Harris admitted convincingly that even HE needs to consciously remind himself of the techiques he is writing about during painful times in his life. This made me think of him as a human with actual insight and not just a know-it-all expert who may make the reader feel like they must develop sound coping skills within a day of reading their book.

All in all, this book does not claim to have all the answers to your problems (or reality gaps). It does however provide the reader with some food for thought when looking at painful emotions. It aims to give the reader the opportunity to see painful situations in a different light (compared to other books) and deal with the "here and now". Highly recommended.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I am a fan of the author as I find his writing style easy to read. It is a book to keep referring back to as many times as is necessary. I find ACT is more approachable than Mindfulness itself as it feels more applicable to everyday modern life and throws a slightly different slant on the usual approach to dealing with common complaints such as anxiety and depression through CBT. As a sufferer of anxiety and depression I have found this book as well as 'The Happiness Trap' a refreshing and welcomed source of support in the modern age. It's a good dose of realism and offers an approach from a new direction that many of us would never be aware of especially today where we feel we do not even have time to think!
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