It is always easier to find resources on child sexual abuse (and adult survivors of child sex abuse) and sexual adult abuse (rape committed by a stranger) yet when I was searching for a book on sexual abuse where the perpetrator happened to be a so called partner/boyfriend/husband who had committed the same crime, there was no book to validate that rape can happen in numerous ways and at any age in what is meant to be an intimate relationship. At last here is the beginning of one of those books to give hope and validation as well as support to all survivors of date/acquaintance or martial rape. It challenges the twisted social myths that trapped victims into an even more tormenting hell. It opens our eyes that rape can be committed by someone you may be close too, trust and consider to be that very person that should be loving you not hurting you. It challenges the fact that there is a fine line between making love and having someone make hate to you. That consenting to the former does not mean given consent to the latter. It includes the different types of partner rapists and their disturbing psychology in relation to attitude and behaviour. It challenges the fact that rape does not have to be vaginal, it can be oral and anal which can be just as degrading and humiliating, that the pain is long lasting even if the rape is a one time thing, and that rape does not have to be someone physically harming you to obtain sex but it can be done in more subtle forms such as interpersonal sexual abuse and coercion tactics. Futhermore sex abuse is also not always about abuse through rape, many abusers use other demeanng and controlling forms of sex abuse which are detailed in the book. The book is well documentated, researched, informative and has many real life examples of survivors experiences. This book is a must for not only survivors, but also the general public in dispelling social myths and in opening their eyes to a much neglected issue in our society. This book will make you rethink about defining rape and sexual abuse and gives justice to those assaulted by partners. Even if the perpetrator is commonly refered to as a male and the survivor female it can be applied to those survivors of same sex relationships or male survivors. An intellectual read and beacon of light that illuminates a misunderstood yet incredibly common phenomenon of violence. Also check out the authors website on this issue called Aphrodite Wounded.
Real Rape, Real Pain draws on the voices of women from across the globe to expose, demystify and provide answers to surviving partner rape. The subject of rape within relationships, a difficult and rarely talked about form of violence, is tackled head on by these authors and they triumph in their task. Personal testimonies, forming the spine of the text, make this book readily accessible by everyone from women experiencing partner rape to those providing assistance and support - counsellors and therapists included. The book's evolution, from identifying the abuse to accessing support, is thoroughly researched with excellent references and resources. Compassionate, wise and practical this book is an invaluable work that provides real answers and has the potential to create powerful change.
Real Rape, Real Pain challenges the multitude of myths that surround partner rape, tackles the immense difficulties women face when it comes to naming partner rape and provides practical advice on leaving safely, perusing justice and the many different aspects of healing.
For survivors of rape by an intimate it is the first resource available on the prevalent issue of partner rape. For counsellors, therapists, rape crisis workers and researchers it is a key text to be added to the library.
This book is comforting and healing as well as practical - I highly recommend it.
After being repeated raped and tortured my ex partner to the extent he forcibly aborted my unborn daughter and killed her, I tried various forms of therapy and counselling but nothing seemed to work. 3 years on, I bought this book and have gradually read through it with my current boyfriend it has helped to show me that it was rape and it was not my fault regardless what he, his friends, his church or what I was made to think. This book questions the rape myths and misconceptions surrounding rape. It make the victim of the horrific crime feel more like a survivor and shows that we are not alone. I would recommend this book to anyone who has been subjected to partner or spouse rape. DON'T SUFFER ALONE OR IN SILENCE!!! Keep strong xxxx
OK, I know the author (Patricia Easteal) and my story is one mentioned in the book. No, I'm not telling which one!
There aren't many of these types of books out there and I think women looking to find solace in this subject matter, may just find it here.
Its not a sit down and trawl the pages sort of book. Its more like a reference, and one to view over time. Digesting it quickly will probably overwhelm and upset most women. So I'd advise caution.
I contributed to this because I wanted to share my story and perhaps help someone along the way. The author is an extremely intelligent woman and its worth getting to know her work.
I gave it to a friend who didn't return it, so I've ordered another one! Its been interesting seeing it all come together. It wasn't easy. But for some women, books are priceless - especially when you don't have anyone/anything else. I hope that it provides a sense of not being alone, and encourages someone, at least one person, to get help and support.
This book is amazing. I am a survivor and has been trying to heal for over 7years and i have found this book amazing. It is chaptered clearly and is presented in easy readable chunks with lots of survivors story bits so you have something to relate to. It has been very helpful and reassuring to read about other women who feel like i do, who have been through what i have. this book has given me hope and strength to rebuild myself.