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Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves Paperback – 2 Jan 2006

4.6 out of 5 stars 50 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Book Publishers Network (2 Jan. 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1887542329
  • ISBN-13: 978-1887542326
  • Product Dimensions: 15.4 x 1.8 x 23 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (50 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 146,651 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
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Product description

Review

Naomi Aldort is an eloquent proponent of the simple idea that children need love and validation, rather than control and behavior modification. The result is the disappearance of power struggles and the emergence of closeness and cooperation. Aldort teaches parents how to listen effectively when children express strong feelings, and how to recover their ability to love, validate and offer comfort to their children when they, themselves, are upset.

-Nappa Awards

About the Author

Naomi Aldort is the author of Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves, sold in thirteen languages. Her advice columns are published in progressive parenting magazines worldwide. Aldort offers guidance by phone/Skype internationally regarding all ages, babies through teens: attachment parenting; natural learning; peaceful and powerful parent-child relationships, self-realization, marriage and more. Products, phone sessions and free newsletter: www.authenticparent.com


Customer Reviews

Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback
If asked to recommend ONE book on the subject of parenting, the answer is always Aldort's. We read this book when our child was 10 months old and it radically changed how we parent, and for me, how I see myself (as a parent, as a partner, as myself--once, too, a child...). Freedom from past conditioning, freedom to parent outside culture's boxes, freedom to live and be with children in relationships forged with--no, not discipline, but mutual respect: You incur the potential for all of this, when you read this book.

I first came across Aldort in an online article on the subject of what to do when one child hurts another. After 5 years of University teacher-training pedagogy, her answer blew me away because it was the exact opposite of anything I'd read: As quickly and immediately as possible, give love to and spend time with the aggressor. Once the one who is hurt is attended to for injury, take some concentrated time to meet and validate the one who has pushed/hit/bit. In her words from another article: "Meeting the child's needs for closeness, affection and human connection are at the heart of preventing all types of aggression and emotional difficulties." (When Toddlers Bite, [...]. Aldort's book is pure gold on the subject of meeting children's emotional needs. No one else has laid this out so clearly. Her book is separated into five main categories: how children experience love, freedom of self-expession, autonomy and power, emotional safety, and self-esteem. Whether or not you are a parent, this book will meet it's own proclaimed agenda by helping you to raise yourself on all five of these levels.
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Format: Paperback
My husband and I have read many books on parenting - some good , some not so good. We believe ROCROS has a very kind and simple message for all parents.
Do we want our children to feel that they have been listened to and loved unconditionally? Of course we do. This book gives practical tools to help those parents who think they are parenting correctly to realise there are many things they are falling short on. We realised this ourselves and we wondered why our children didn't seem settled or had various anxieties. ROCROS has helped us to see that our children were born perfect and that we as unknowledgeable parents (nobody taught us how to parent)could potentially damage this purity. Our children are learning to accept the ''no's'' much more, as they are hearing so many more ''yes's'' from us. This book has taught us to accept our children for who they are and not what they can do. We love them unconditionally, at ALL times (even the tantrums!!) The child has a right to express all feelings and we must listen with love in our hearts and make time for these precious souls that we are helping to become the human beings the are destined to be.
An inspiring read for ALL parents.
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Format: Paperback
Amazing book that made a huge difference in our relationship with my daughter. Can only recommend!
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Format: Paperback
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is unlike other parenting books and much more effective. I have read good advice before, but couldn't change my habits. This book gives the tools of personal growth that make it possible to be the loving mother that I really want to be. This is not esoteric philosophizing; it is useful advice with a five-step approach that is eminently doable. Each step is illustrated with story after story about parents who discover, or rediscover, the power of love as they replace controlling parenting techniques with gentle nurturing.

In applying Ms. Aldort's suggestions myself, I have found that my listening and communication skills are improving and I am definitely more mindful, more empathetic, and more flexible as a parent. Happily, my children have noticed this change and, even more happily, have emulated it in their relationships with each other, with their father, with me, and with friends. A little positive parenting goes a long way!!

Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a must-read, must-have book for parents who are trying to break a personal or cultural cycle of authoritarianism and start becoming the mothers and fathers they wish to be.
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Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I keep going back to this book... whenever I am finding a pattern with my son (now 7) that is not working, I (sometimes eventually!!) remember to look at myself and what is going on for me. If what you're doing isn't working, then unless you change what you're doing, it isn't going to work. Our children need our love and support to show them how to learn about their emotions and how to behave with them. Sometimes, though, we have something going on for us that gets in the way. Recognising that it's our thing and not their thing helps us to take the time to react with love, rather than recall the pattern we've always used in situations like these. I was recently helping my son ski. He lost it on the slope and started crying and would come down any further. So I lost it with him, because I was thinking about how I was going to get my child off the mountain safely! After 5 mins of admonishing him to sort himself up and stand, I realised that this was getting me nowhere and he was just getting more and more scared and upset, so I just asked him what he wanted to do; get him to take control of his situation and deal with it resourcefully in the way he could (with some guidance of course). So we agreed he could slide on his bottom without his skis (which I would carry) to a flatter bit where he felt safer to put them back on and carry on skiing down the mountain. He had been getting increasily fairly rude to me and back-chatting and I wracked my brains that night about what was going wrong between us - as I felt really guilty about my first reaction on the mountain. And that very night, I remembered to refer back to this book - it's on my kindle, so I can access it on loads of devices with the Kindle app so I've always got it with me...Read more ›
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