Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves Paperback – 2 Jan 2006
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Top Customer Reviews
In applying Ms. Aldort's suggestions myself, I have found that my listening and communication skills are improving and I am definitely more mindful, more empathetic, and more flexible as a parent. Happily, my children have noticed this change and, even more happily, have emulated it in their relationships with each other, with their father, with me, and with friends. A little positive parenting goes a long way!!
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves is a must-read, must-have book for parents who are trying to break a personal or cultural cycle of authoritarianism and start becoming the mothers and fathers they wish to be.
However, the examples didn't always ring true to me, and also some of the advice given was very impractical, if a parent of more than one child you're often pulled in four or five different directions and there are times I literally cant just stop and sit because one of them is having a tantrum, motherhood is a balancing act and there are many peoples needs to consider.
I would definitely recommend looking for Naomi Aldort's videos on youtube they're a handy summation of the book and in some ways clearer.
I first came across Aldort in an online article on the subject of what to do when one child hurts another. After 5 years of University teacher-training pedagogy, her answer blew me away because it was the exact opposite of anything I'd read: As quickly and immediately as possible, give love to and spend time with the aggressor. Once the one who is hurt is attended to for injury, take some concentrated time to meet and validate the one who has pushed/hit/bit. In her words from another article: "Meeting the child's needs for closeness, affection and human connection are at the heart of preventing all types of aggression and emotional difficulties." (When Toddlers Bite, [...]. Aldort's book is pure gold on the subject of meeting children's emotional needs. No one else has laid this out so clearly. Her book is separated into five main categories: how children experience love, freedom of self-expession, autonomy and power, emotional safety, and self-esteem. Whether or not you are a parent, this book will meet it's own proclaimed agenda by helping you to raise yourself on all five of these levels.Read more ›
Finally, a book that spells out with crystal clarity that yes, you can respect and trust your children fully, and love them unconditionally, without any "ifs" and "buts".
Raising Our Children, Raising Ourselves provides the tools for being always kind and loving in our day-to-day interactions with our children, and illustrates the guidance via eloquent real-life examples. These tools are easy to remember and put to practice, and they actually work. This book has transformed my relationship with my 10-month old, giving me permission to fully love her the way I always felt - without holding back ANYTHING! Quite a liberating shift. The guidance carries all the way from infancy through the teen years, and I am so grateful that I stumbled upon it while she is still little!
The transformative effect of the book goes way beyond parenting, as both the title, and the subtitle proposed by James Prescott on the cover ('Saving the emotional lives of our children and the future of humanity'), suggest. It lays out a readily available path to self-healing and self-realization through our relationship with our children (as well as with other people): simply by starting to examine how we respond to others a little more closely. In my humble opinion, this is one of the most important books ever written, period.
I have a wish. I grew up in France and I CANNOT WAIT to see the book translated in other languages, and start infusing its wisdom and compassion to non-English readers also. Any European publisher out there interested in making a difference? Call Naomi today, you'll do yourself and the world a favor. Our world needs this book. QUICK!
Most Recent Customer Reviews
The best paremting book and I have read many! This has been transformative. Certainly worth a readPublished 2 months ago by Lindsay
I keep going back to this book... whenever I am finding a pattern with my son (now 7) that is not working, I (sometimes eventually!! Read morePublished 5 months ago by Amazon Customer
I found this approach to be a bit extreme, it's wonderful to be able to be calm and relaxed but sometimes we are not and that's fine too. Read morePublished 5 months ago by love82