Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys (Ballantine Reader's Circle) Paperback – 1 Apr 2000
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"Brilliant . . . This affectionate, encouraging book should be require reading for anyone raising--or educating--a boy."
--The Washington Post
"Raising Cain gives a long-needed insight into that mysterious, magical land, the psyches of boys. Every parent, teacher--or anyone who wants boys to flourish--should read this book."
Author of Emotional Intelligence
"ENORMOUSLY COMPELLING . . . In much the same way that Reviving Ophelia offered new models for raising girls, therapists Kindlon and Thompson argue that boys desperately need a new standard of 'emotional literacy.' . . . This thoughtful book is recommended for parents, teachers, or anyone with a vested interest in raising happy, healthy, emotionally whole young men."
--Publishers Weekly (starred review)
"RAISING CAIN HELPS US UNDERSTAND THE INNER LIVES OF BOYS MUCH AS MARY PIPHER'S REVIVING OPHELIA SHED LIGHT ON THE STRUGGLE OF THE ADOLESCENT GIRL."
--The Tampa Tribune-Times"
From the Inside Flap
In Raising Cain, Dan Kindlon, Ph.D., and Michael Thompson, Ph.D., two of the country's leading child psychologists, share what they have learned in more than thirty-five years of combined experience working with boys and their families. They reveal a nation of boys who are hurting--sad, afraid, angry, and silent. Kindlon and Thompson set out to answer this basic, crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? They illuminate the forces that threaten our boys, teaching them to believe that "cool" equals macho strength and stoicism. Cutting through outdated theories of "mother blame," "boy biology," and "testosterone," the authors shed light on the destructive emotional training our boys receive--the emotional miseducation of boys.
Kindlon and Thompson make a compelling case that emotional literacy is the most valuable gift we can offer our sons, urging parents to recognize the price boys pay when we hold them to an impossible standard of manhood. They identify the social and emotional challenges that boys encounter in school and show how parents can help boys cultivate emotional awareness and empathy--giving them the vital connections and support they need to navigate the social pressures of youth.
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Top Customer Reviews
Kindlon & Thompson set out to answer this crucial question: What do boys need that they're not getting? Through moving case studies & up-to-date research, Raising Cain portrays generations of boys systematically herded away from their emotional life by adults & the peer "culture of cruelty"; receiving little encouragement to examine their emotions & develop qualities like compassion, sensitivity & affection.
In Fathers and Sons: A Legacy of Desire and Distance, Kindlon & Thompson open up the sad, sad wound of unrequited love. When a grown man cries in therapy, it is almost always about his father & his yearning for his father's love. Into that yearning has been fed decades of anger, sadness & shame.
Why is it that fathers describe their sons as never listening, not understanding while their sons describe their fathers in similar terms of discontent? Why do sons rub their fathers the wrong way? Can fathers & sons have a close, loving relationship? How can they close the emotional gulf? Kindlon & Thompson have some good ideas, read'em & weep!
Kindlon & Thompson identify the social & emotional challenges boys must encounter in school & the streets & show us how we can help boys cultivate emotional awareness, empathy & health.Read more ›
Well worth reading for mothers and fathers alike. As I have never been a boy it helps to see the world from a boy's perspective; which I hope will help me support my sons to become the best men that they can be! I feel better informed about helping my sons verbalise their feelings and parenting that validates their emotional world.
It's also worth reading anything by Steve Biddulph on the subject and 'How to Listen So children will Talk... etc'
(Unfairly I only gave it four stars because it is so clearly American-centric).
I cannot express my love for this book; it is a must for parents of boys as it helps to understand their emotional needs. My husband and I are strong believers in showing love and affection and helping to expand the emotional language of our sons, and this book underpins that core belief.
It is enlightening and a beautiful view on how different boys are from girls and how we can see the vulnerability of males and help them to explore their own feelings.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
I bought this book, thinking the authors actually knew something about helping boys in general with themselves. Not the society that surrounds them. Read morePublished on 6 Feb. 2014 by hanarr
if you have sons growing up-then you need to read this book-too often boys needs are completely ignored,worse still-boys are told not to cry !!??rubbish-read this now !Published on 16 Mar. 2013 by donna
This book provides lots and lots of examples of where society goes wrong in understanding boys but very little in the way of what we are supposed to do to put things right. Read morePublished on 1 Aug. 2009 by M. Murray
Although the authors are American and the case studies quoted are all about Amercian boys growing up in an American system the basic advice given and the principles behind their... Read morePublished on 19 Oct. 1999 by caroline gray
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