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Parenting Girls on the Autism Spectrum: Overcoming the Challenges and Celebrating the Gifts Paperback – 15 Mar. 2012

4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 125 ratings

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Parents of girls on the autism spectrum often wish their daughters were celebrated for their talents, rather than discouraged for their differences. They recognise that their children's unique natures may make them distinctive in some ways, but resent labels such as 'disabled' and 'disorder' being applied to their daughters. This book is a celebration of all the wonderful and unexpected gifts that having daughters on the autism spectrum can bring to your life. Each chapter explores a topic of concern, offering encouragement and guidance on common issues such as school, friendships, meltdowns, special gifts, family relationships, therapies and interventions. Having daughters on the spectrum presents unique and rewarding challenges and this book is packed with friendly advice and real life examples from a mother who has experienced it all first hand. The hopeful perspective given in this book is guaranteed to offer much appreciated comfort to parents, grandparents and family members. It will provide educators and anyone who cares for girls on the spectrum with an insight into what life is like for these extraordinary girls and their parents.

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Product description

Review

Mostly it's about Eileen Riley-Hall's experiences with her daughters but it's also chock full of websites and other resources to help you along the way. I can't say enough about how helpful she is in her book. Author: One Girl Circus blog

Riley-Hall comes across as a strong, loving mother who has much to share and her experiences and outlook would no doubt be an inspiration to many. Author: asteens

Eileen Riley-Hall has produced a book full of pride but without a hint of vanity. This is a mother whose pride in her, each very different, daughters jumps off the page...I felt I'd got to know a family, was given a glimpse into a loving relationship between a devoted mum and her girls and was left wanting to get to know them better still. For this reason and that Eileen Riley-Hall's voice is a much needed one of balance and pride, I'm hoping for a follow up. Author: Autismum blog

If you have a daughter with autism or Asperger's syndrome, this book will be your primary source of information and inspiration as well as becoming your 'best friend' who understands and supports you. Author: Tony Attwood, Clinical Psychologist and author of The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome

Eileen Riley-Hall, a parent of two girls on the autism spectrum, has demonstrated with great clarity the differences between girls and boys on the spectrum. Her book addresses the complexities of girls being a 'minority in a minority group'. Without doubt her book is inspiring, positive and practical providing excellent tips on living with, understanding and supporting girls on the spectrum. A must read for all of us who care about this 'hidden' group. Author: Dr Judith Gould, Clinical Psychologist and Director of the NAS Lorna Wing Centre for Autism

Eileen shares with her readers the unique experiences of females with ASDs and the challenges that they and their families face; challenges such as minority status within a minority, social expectations for females to be good at social-communication, the risks of depression and anxiety, handling mean girls who bully in ways that are different than the bullying of boys, hygiene and fashion, and making friends. Whether your daughter is a spunky spitfire or a quiet little lady, you will find her somewhere in Eileen's words, and I guarantee that you will not feel alone. Author: from the Foreword by Shana Nichols, clinical psychologist, Owner and Director of the ASPIRE Centre for Learning and Development, New York State and author of Girls Growing Up on the Autism Spectrum.

Eileen Riley-Hall has encouraged her daughters to grow into beautiful and delightful young women and has developed distinctive strategies to develop their potential. Author: Gayle Buckley MD, paediatrician, New York state

Eileen Riley-Hall writes as an old hand, reassuring new recruits that they, too, will survive the shock of getting a diagnosis, and showing them how to be their own child's advocate, while maintaining a healthy balance in their own lives, and the on-going life of their family. This is a heartening, and at the same time no-nonsense look at what it means to be the parent of not one, but two daughters on the autism spectrum. The author speaks with the insight, compassion, and wisdom that only come from first-hand experience…enabling new parents to make better-informed choices on their own child's behalf. Author: James Coplan, MD, author, Making Sense of Autistic Spectrum Disorders

Book Description

Support and advice on parenting girls on the spectrum, from schooling to friendships to meltdowns and special gifts

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jessica Kingsley Pub; 1st edition (15 Mar. 2012)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 256 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1849058938
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1849058933
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 15.2 x 1.6 x 22.8 cm
  • Customer reviews:
    4.4 4.4 out of 5 stars 125 ratings

About the author

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Eileen Riley-Hall
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Eileen Riley Hall is a veteran middle and high school English teacher with 25+ years of experience teaching an amazing cast of real-life characters. Her first book, entitled Parenting Girls on the Autism Spectrum: Overcoming the Challenges and Celebrating the Gifts, is based in part on her experience raising two spectacular daughters on the spectrum. Her daughters achieved amazing things through inclusive education, opportunities to participate in life, and lots of unconditional love. The Shape of Secrets is her second book, and her first foray into fiction. She frequently writes Op-Eds about education, autism, and empathy. She has been published in the New York Times, the New York Post, and her hometown newspaper The Times Union, in addition to multiple autism publications. In life and in literature, she loves championing the underdogs and seeing them triumph against the odds.

Ms. Hall runs a Facebook page for girls with autism and their parents: Girls and Autism, Parenting Girls on the Autism Spectrum. Visit to ask questions and offer advice to other families.

Customer reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
125 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the book informative and easy to understand with good explanations. They describe it as a well-written, reassuring guide that offers hope and practical advice for living with autism.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

9 customers mention ‘Information quality’9 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the book's information quality. They find it informative with good explanations and tips. The book is well-researched and structured in a way that is easy to understand and relatable. Readers describe it as helpful and full of hope, offering sound advice.

"...There are good tips in this book and describes in detail the great achievements autistic kids can make...." Read more

"...This book was like switching a light on. Every chapter was describing my daughter and the difficulties she faces and the quirky and often amusing..." Read more

"...If you're after an advice manual, it seems to have interesting points and merits, but I wanted to refund it so couldn't read any more...." Read more

"Well written and informative but maybe a little too positive" Read more

8 customers mention ‘Readability’8 positive0 negative

Customers find the book easy to read and reassuring. They say it's well-written and beautifully structured.

"...Very easy to read...." Read more

"I've loved reading this book. It's extremely easy to read, and very informative and helpful to boot...." Read more

"Well written and informative but maybe a little too positive" Read more

"This book was so easy to read and is user friendly. It is definately a book that I will keep going back to...." Read more

6 customers mention ‘Optimism’6 positive0 negative

Customers find the book uplifting and full of hope. They say it's reassuring and helpful for living with autism, recognizing the hard times. The author also mentions that autistic people have feelings and register everything said.

"...Most importantly it will educate you to understand that autistic people have feelings, they too register everything said around them, and they too..." Read more

"...this brings out some cruel situations but this book tells of hope and optimism but also never strays from the facts that there is no magic cure but..." Read more

"...However I have actually read this twice now as it filled me with such hope for what I sometimes feel is a desperate situation...." Read more

"...' on the Spectrum and so has a vast knowledge and understanding about living with autism...." Read more

Top reviews from United Kingdom

Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 21 February 2014
It's one of the best books I've ever read. I think every person in the world should read it. It describes the joys, the pains and the worries of a parent of 2 girls on the autistic spectrum. Both girls are on different parts of the spectrum and thus gives a good reflection of how different autism can be for every child. It also highlights and identifies how autistic girls differ significantly from autistic boys and how girls are a minority in the autism world.
There are good tips in this book and describes in detail the great achievements autistic kids can make.

Most importantly it will educate you to understand that autistic people have feelings, they too register everything said around them, and they too learn everyday. Never give up hope and always be positive. I wish I had read this before as I would have had a much better understanding of Autism and how it can affect real people and what it can also give you that can't be taught or learned by non autistic kids or adults.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 4 March 2014
My daughter has just been diagnosed with ASD at age 12 and I wanted a book relating to girls. This book was like switching a light on. Every chapter was describing my daughter and the difficulties she faces and the quirky and often amusing sides of her beautiful nature. Very easy to read. I bought it for my kindle but am now going to order a hard copy so I can pass it to relatives to help them understand that ASDs not the end of the world just a different one and it doesn't change who my daughter is just helps us to understand her better.
6 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 2 July 2016
Interesting book with many things that you can relate to if you have a daughter with autism,as they have said before if you meet one girl with autism then you have met one girl with autism,that said there are snippets that makes you realise that you are not alone and that things are not as black as you think they are.
My daughter has high functioning autism and it is like an unseen disability and this brings out some cruel situations but this book tells of hope and optimism but also never strays from the facts that there is no magic cure but to enjoy your child and with your love they can have a special life.
My daughter will be off to university come September,will she cope ? No idea but never give up and that reminds me of something in the book that I thought was important and that was the part that said to be careful when speaking in front of your child about them, they certainly understand and take a literal thought and opinion even if you meant it slightly different.
Buy and enjoy
9 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 March 2016
As a mum to a recently diagnosed girl with Aspergers, I have read quite a few books recently. However I have actually read this twice now as it filled me with such hope for what I sometimes feel is a desperate situation. She is so optimistic while recognising the hard times, and manages to see the funny side. Have smiled often while reading, as some experiences are so similar to mine! I hope she writes a sequel about the teenage years. I would recommend to any parent and suspect I will come back to it when times are tough....
4 people found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 3 July 2016
I found it hard to give a number of stars here, as I'm sure it's really handy if it's what you want. Chapter 1, which I read as a kindle sample, was a personal experience, what it was like for the two girls as babies. I expected the following chapters to be similar, to follow the girls as they became toddlers, preschoolers, children. Instead, by chapter 2 they're pretty much at school and the author has skipped to advice. Not the book I wanted, so I returned it. If you're after an advice manual, it seems to have interesting points and merits, but I wanted to refund it so couldn't read any more. Just a mismatch to the sample, that's all.
One person found this helpful
Report
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 30 April 2012
I've loved reading this book. It's extremely easy to read, and very informative and helpful to boot. The author has 2 girls at different 'points' on the Spectrum and so has a vast knowledge and understanding about living with autism. There are various sections, some of which discuss mainstream schooling, interventions and sibling/family relationships, and a comprehensive section listing all the valuable internet resources out there on the topic of autism. It's a very happy and positive book, and I've definitely learned lots from it. Would recommend it to anyone who would like to understand more about autism.
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 5 November 2017
Well written and informative but maybe a little too positive
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on 10 December 2012
This book was so easy to read and is user friendly. It is definately a book that I will keep going back to. I didn't bother to read the chapter on siblings as my daughter is an only child. But that is what's great about this book, you can dip in out of it. I related to so many of the examples and stories of the author. My understanding of my little girl and her needs are explained and make so much more sense. Thank you for a wonmderful book.

Top reviews from other countries

Lane Lovig
5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful!!! My Daughter was diagnosed with ...
Reviewed in Canada on 20 September 2015
Very helpful!!! My Daughter was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum disorder a year ago and I wish I was handed this book that day.
MPBE
5.0 out of 5 stars I Loved This Book!
Reviewed in the United States on 9 September 2012
Oh how I loved this book! Since my daughter was diagnosed with Aspergers syndrome two years ago, I have met and talked to several other parents with "Aspy" kids. But every one of them has a son. Not a single daughter. So this book was so welcome to me. I bought it for myself for Mother's Day. As soon as I began reading it, I started to feel less alone in the world.

One of the agencies we have tried to work with, which is considered the premier agency on autism in our community, seemed to us to have very little understanding of girls on the spectrum. But Eileen Riley-Hall has solid information about the differences between boys and girls on the spectrum. My daughter, it turns out, is much like Ms. Hall's older daughter, who is also an "Aspy" (quiet, shy, very bright, very creative, funny, musically and artistically talented).

I laughed and cried many times reading the book. It has a wonderful blend of optimism and authenticity. I was so inspired by the accomplishments of Ms. Hall's daughters that came as a result of her advocacy and positivity. At the same time, I was deeply moved by her honesty regarding the losses involved with parenting kids with autism. I was disarmed by her forthrightness and humility and I was inspired by her hope and tenacity.
K. Handcock
4.0 out of 5 stars ... who speaks out against some of the quack "cures" recommended on some websites etc
Reviewed in Canada on 22 March 2017
This is a very interesting book and I was thrilled to find an author who speaks out against some of the quack "cures" recommended on some websites etc. It provides an excellent introduction to the ways that ASD can appear in girls, although if you've done a fair bit of reading on the topic you may find this title repeats information you already know. I appreciated the author's anecdotes about the ways her two girls were different and solutions that have worked for her. Especially if you are new to your daughter's diagnosis, this is a great title to add to your reading list.
S Currie
5.0 out of 5 stars Must-read for parents of girls on the spectrum
Reviewed in the United States on 9 February 2014
I can't believe it took me this long to get around to reading this book. My daughter's dx was nearly two years ago, and I have read a TON of books since then- some have been helpful, but others just intensified the frenzied tailspin our lives seemed to be in. I wish, wish, wish that I had read this one FIRST.

The author's whole approach is calm, hopeful, balanced, thoughtful. She provides a lot of information on everything from testing and diagnosis, education, friends, treatments and therapies; to the internet, autism myths, gifts and talents, and getting through the tough times. Having two daughters on the spectrum, she focuses on the particular traits and needs of girls- which are quite different, in many cases, than those of boys.

Above all, she urges us to love, accept, and enjoy our daughters for who they are, without losing them behind the label or diagnosis, and to focus our concern on THEIR needs, not on the thoughts and opinions of others.

This is an absolute must-read if you are the parent, grandparent, or caregiver of a girl on the autism spectrum.
Momoftwo
4.0 out of 5 stars Excellent if your daughter is diagnosed early
Reviewed in the United States on 3 September 2021
This was a great book. Unfortunately the information does not include how to cope with high school or late diagnosis.