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Parent Effectiveness Training: The Proven Program for Raising Responsible Children Paperback – 4 Feb 2008

4.6 out of 5 stars 19 customer reviews

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Product details

  • Paperback: 384 pages
  • Publisher: Three Rivers Press (CA); 30th edition edition (4 Feb. 2008)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0609806939
  • ISBN-13: 978-0609806937
  • Product Dimensions: 13 x 2 x 20.3 cm
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Bestsellers Rank: 112,488 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Product Description

From the Inside Flap

P.E.T., or Parent Effectiveness Training, began almost forty years ago as the first national parent-training program to teach parents how to communicate more effectively with kids and offer step-by-step advice to resolving family conflicts so everybody wins. This beloved classic is the most studied, highly praised, and proven parenting program in the world -- and it will work for you. Now revised for the first time since its initial publication, this groundbreaking guide will show you:
How to avoid being a permissive parent
How to listen so kids will talk to you and talk so kids will listen to you
How to teach your children to "own" their problems and to solve them
How to use the "No-Lose" method to resolve conflicts
Using the timeless methods of P.E.T. will have immediate results: less fighting, fewer tantrums and lies, no need for punishment. Whether you have a toddler striking out for independence or a teenager who has already started rebelling, you'll find P.E.T. a compassionate, effective way to instill responsibility and create a nurturing family environment in which your child will thrive.

About the Author

DR. THOMAS GORDON, a licensed psychologist, was the recipient of the 1999 American Psychological Foundation's Gold Medal Award for Enduring Contribution to Psychology, the 2000 Lifetime Achievement Award from the California State Psychological Association, and the first recipient of the Career Achievement Award from the National Parenting Instructors Association. He has been a consultant to the White House Conference on Children and the White House Fellows. Dr. Gordon is the author of eight books, including "Leader Effectiveness Training" (L.E.T.) and "Teacher Effectiveness Training" (T.E.T.). He works in Solana Beach, California, and has two grown daughters and two grandchildren.
For more information, please visit the Gordon Training International Web site at www.gordontraining.com.


Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
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Top Customer Reviews

Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
No one ever really teaches you how to be a parent do they? Oh they teach you how to change a nappy, how to feed it and how to burp it, then they pat you on the back and send you on your merry way.
But no one ever teaches you how to deal with a child that is throwing a tantrum in Tesco, or a child who refuses to do what you want. In these enlightened times slapping the child is no longer acceptable, but no one has explained what other options are available to you! The whole thing is incredibly frustrating!
If that is how you feel about parenting then THIS BOOK IS FOR YOU!
The book teaches you three techniques which can be used singly or permed together, which will quite simply change your life.
By the time you have read through the 330 pages of this book you will feel confident that there is no need to lose your temper, no need to raise a hand in anger and that all issues can be resolved in an easy and friendly way.
The author says that when they were compiling the new edition of the book they asked people who had done the course for good examples of conflicts that had been resolved using these methods, but few of them could think of any. The reason was quite simply that after using P.E.T. for a while there just were not any further conflicts within their families that needed resolving.
This book is essential reading for ALL parents, whether of a newborn baby or unruly teenagers. It WILL change your life!
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I have read many books on parenting. Some of them are truly excellent and this one is another gem. All parents currently experiencing difficult relationships with their childen will find the methods that Dr Gordon puts forward in the book a breeze to understand, though it may require ome effort and time to put them into practice, the end results are well worth the effort. Absolutely no one is a loser when the methods suggested are used in the family. This book is a relationship saver for parents and children alike. This book makes parents, and other adults realise that children deserve as much respect as any other person in the world. At the same time, it reassures parents that they will not raise 'unruly brats' by respecting their children and listening to them, without controlling them at every opportunity. It is on this premise that the system put forward works, and enable families to build mutually respectful relationships where everyone can flourish, children and parents alike.

A must for anyone wanting to improve their parent/child relationship or even their relationships at large. A true gem. Cannot recommend it highly enough. Worth much more than 5 stars.
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Format: Paperback
I used PET for about 10 years when our girls were between 10 and 20. I can't rate the book more highly. All about space management, their space, your space, keeping confrontation at bay. Having all those useful phrases at the ready in the middle of a confrontation, it saved the day so often. They do just come to your mind at the right moment and you don't know how. My daughter, now 28. use to say Are you going to send me on another of your guilt trip? but it worked time and again. Then one of her friends recently ask me about the book as my daughter had mentioned it and recommended it to her. Now that was praise indeed. I actually found it equally helpful in dealing with people at large, adults and all.
The best exemple was my daughter, aged 16, arriving home 10 minutes late after a night out. As Thomas Gordon recommended ; I waited for her and gave her a huge hugg when she came in told her how glad I was she was safe and went to bed. You have no idea the apologies I got the next day ! By the way no need to stay up just leave an alarm clock for 5 minutes after the agreed time. If they come in they switch it off; if they don't you get woken up. No need to stay up!
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This is a superb and well researched book with a very practical and gentle, positive and child centred approach. I loved it. It would think all parents with a genuine interest in challenging themselves for the good of their children would benefit from this book.
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I went through life never wanting to have children and succeeded until the age of 40 when I became a step-father to a very unhappy 11 year old.

My step daughter had witnessed a very nasty divorce, a father with behavioral issues and was at school in South London in a class with many "behavioral challenged" children. These children were a very bad and dangerous influence and just to add to the toxic mix, myspace and the internet were starting to create a whole different set of dangers.

I did a lot of research, found the P.E.T. system and bought the book. My step daughter was highly unimpressed with any attempt at parenting and in fact stole the book and read it herself in order to have the inside track on the "tricks" in the book. My wife chose not to follow the system.

Between my stepdaughter and myself we started following the P.E.T. system. It was a bumpy ride but the benefits were quickly apparent.

Last year my stepdaughter graduated from a prestigious college and this year from a prestigious university. (Not bad for someone who absolutely hated studying) and she is working in a highly lucrative field standing up to CEOs and presidents using some of the techniques taught in this book.

Sadly, my stepdaughter is one of the few success stories in our social circle. Several other friend's children of the same age are suffering from eating disorders, bullying or being spoiled and are really struggling in life. Many of these children have been damaged by parents attempting to exercise strong control over their lives which may sort of work when they live with you but all falls apart when they leave.
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